Guys I need your suggestions..on how to get a guy to commit?

Question

I realize it's up to the guy whether or not he wants to finally commit. I'm in a "casual sex" type relationship..been so over a year. Anyways, awhile I brought up the fact that I didn't like it that we weren't commited & he said he wasn't ready. After that I said I needed space & didn't talk to him for a month. I started to miss him so I ended up calling him a month later. We're back to what we used to be..but he told me "it is what it is"..still..I understood that, so now I'm pretty much using him just like he uses me. But I've back off the emotional side of me, and I think he can tell. Except that if I call him like on a Friday to do something, he won't call me back until Sunday..when he know it's best for him to get together..& I always give in..& hang out. Lately I haven't been answering or I call him back much later..monkey see monkey do. If I play his game back, will he finally take me serious that I won't stand for his behavior..or will it turn him off? What should I do?

what's the best approach to give him that message? I don't want to completely ignore him, because I don't want to lose him for good, so I'm not sure if I should play hard to get ya know? what's the best way for him to miss me? also when I didn't talk or see him for a month..he told me it was a good thing..umm should I take that as a good thing or a bad thing? Was he saying he missed me and had a taste of what it was like without me? I don't want him to think I'm crazy especially if I brought it up 4 months ago, now back to where we were..& then now I'm ready to do it again?

Answer 1

You need to have the nad to walk away from him and find someone else until he realizes you were the best thing to happen to him. And if he doesn't come back- his loss. If you continue to act as his doormat, he will never take you seriously and God forbid if you get married, he will treat you with disrespect. Have enough self respect for yourself, be strong and send him a clear message. He will change his ways if he isn't too self-centered and realize what you mean to him. Good luck

Answer 2

Lots of people are in the same situation or in some situation as similar as yours. Some people start out as a casual sex type relationship as you call it and later on get committed.

Have you question him as to why he don't want to have a commitment and not just about sex ? You had a chance to change things around when you said you needed space and gave into your feelings of missing him, and called him. Look now you are back to were you two were before in the same situation you were in before. Nothing good comes without some form of sacrifice.

Two things can happen you tell him about you need some thing more than some type of casual sex type relationship and stick to your decision. The second thing that can happen is that he may play along and may be have some one on a side besides you.

There are going to be consequences some of which will be a hard pill to swallow. Some people play along the lines of commitment and then cheat with some one on a side.

Which ever way your situation is prepare for the worse and hope for the best.

Answer 3

you have tried to change this guy to the best of your ability. If he loves you and wants to have a relationship he needs to grow up and see the whole picture. I Would call him and say that you want to have a talk. See where that goes put everything out on the table of how you feel and see how he responds. If it is a response that you don't like then get rid of that looser, there are allot of other NICE guys out there that will pay attention to you the way you need to be payed attention to. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Sounds like hes just using you for sex. Play his game back and see what happens, if it turns him off it turns him off..doesnt sound like this guy is much anyway. Sounds like hes way to immature and doesnt really have the same feelings for you..you need to have a more balanced relationship.

Answer 5

He is USING YOU--period.

You are his "booty call", "good time girl", "quickie"--I could go on & on..But do you get it?...No matter how much you pretend to not care about him--he doesnt care about you. He doesnt love you.
Your "fling" with him will go on & on UNTIL YOU STOP SLEEPING WITH HIM. He is milking the cow for free--and he will keep coming back for the free milk as long as you stand there and let him....Word from the wise--If you want a man to love you, dont offer him what is bewteen your legs, offer him--your mind.

Answer 6

Eh seems like you have tried to get him to change. If you really like him maybe you can keep doing what your doing until he finally realizes what the hell is goin on or trys to talk to you about it or you can kick him to the curb and look for someone else that iwll appreciate you. Its all up to you and how much you like this one guy.

Answer 7

I'd say it will turn him off. But I really don't think this is the type of guy you want if you want commitment. Does he get scared if you mention marriage? Think about your future not just short term

Answer 8

was in the exact same situation

listen up!!! you can't change a man! in your case he's only using you for casual sex! and you actually have feeling for him

so the best thing for you to do is to stop calling him and stop seeing him and find someone who care about you

i know it will be extremely hard to stop calling him, but really you have to try

he'll get bored with you eventually and not wanting to see you again, you will get hurt a lot more if that happens

so it's better that you dump him right now !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


once again, you can't change him, don't think that you can ever change him!