everyday, there's always something they fight about.....and my dad starts most of the fights. my parents say that they'll never divorce because it's not christian to do it, but i see it happening in the future.....what can i do so that i can help them stop this?
2006-08-13 07:00:15 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm so sorry.
Everyone else has had reasonable answers so far, and I'll have to add I think it's not really your problem to fix, you're the one who is affected by it though.
Sometimes telling other people or trying to talk to your parents will make it much worse, if they're like my parents were. Depending how bad you think things are, if you're getting hurt too, there are things you probably already know you can do, but try not to be the one who is trying to divert attention from fights. You don't need to be in the middle. Just focus on your studies as best as you can, don't back down from what you need to do to be a success in life, without depending upon them for things. Be responsible, take on volunteer activities and extracurriculars, a job, and do your best at it, even if it also becomes a subject of your parents' fights.
They need help, if they're not helping themselves, but some people never change, and you need to worry about caring for your future. Maybe in the midst of your changes, your parents might? (Not always, but sometimes.) In the meantime, I hope you have a lot of people in your life who make you feel good, and if not, make more offline friends so you don't have to spend all day at home.
2006-08-13 07:30:39 · answer #1 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately there is not much you can do to stop their fighting.
You are in a very hard place to be, I know because I have been there. My parents though were "sticking it out for the kids." Little did they realize they were doing us no favor.
The only thing you can do is help yourself. Talk to a counselor at school or church. Keep yourself "safe" from their fighting. My parents became physically abusive to each other and then to us.
Maybe a trial separation, without divorce would be helpfull.
Dr. Phil has a book out that tells about the rules to fighting. They made sense to me. Maybe you can share that with your parents. I don't know how open they are to talking about it. Mine WERE NOT open to any discussion.
I feel for you....if you ever need to talk or a shoulder to cry on...email me
DeanaG73@yahoo.com
Huggs to you!!!
2006-08-13 14:15:00 · answer #2 · answered by Deana G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately there isn't much that you can do to stop them from fighting bcuz you're a kid. They are adults and have to deal with whatever they're going thru as adults. However, I would encourage you to talk to them and let them know what you think of them fighting and kinda propose a family meeting to see how there can be more peace in the home. Let them know that the fighting kinda upsets you and makes you uncomfortable. Tell them to go to counseling.
2006-08-13 14:08:52 · answer #3 · answered by Ronka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, it is not your problem to resolve. The one person that counts is you, and you can not change what is happening. All you can do is prepare yourself and stick by your parents through there hard times, they obviously forget what matters the most, and that is you. Be strong and very vocal, talk to them both about what it is doing to you, talk to them seperately and make them aware that fighting is not healthy for anyone. Then suggest that all of you go see someone.
2006-08-13 14:11:06 · answer #4 · answered by zandora1964 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
grl i understand completely my dads a preacher n mine fight all the time n they said they wont ever split but i can help u out hopefully suggest a vaction let ur dad go one place and your mom go to another i tryed that with my parents a couple of yrs ago n it worked they dnt fight no where near as much a s what they used to its actually like were a normal fam. again i hope i can help
2006-08-13 14:08:29 · answer #5 · answered by emily 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't make them behave or change, but you can let them know how you feel, that it upsets you, that you don't want to see or hear their fights and you would like your feelings respected. I hope you're in a situation where you can walk away and go someplace safe and private. Try to think about how you would like your relationships to be different in your future, because, try as we might, we haul all the garbage of our childhoods into our adult lives. My husband had to un-learn his parents' habit of fighting and yelling, but he chose to live a different way. Good luck.
2006-08-13 14:10:47 · answer #6 · answered by shycello 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Prayer helps. If your dad is the one starting the arguments, it means he is troubled about money. Get into your school books and get a good education so you don't have to be dependant on wages when you get older. Show them your mature enough so that your mom could get a job if he would let her. A lot of people imagine they can survive on one paycheck, and its just not true anymore. Give them both as many hugs as you can, let them know your a positive menber of the family. Often it just takes your willingness to show your support of both of them.
2006-08-13 14:10:42 · answer #7 · answered by Marcus R. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there another adult available that you can talk to that can intervene for you here? Preferably a relative or a pastor? Some serious counselling needs to happen here for the peace and good of the whole household.
2006-08-13 14:15:05 · answer #8 · answered by December Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's between your parents. Unfortunately there's not much you can do, but you should let them know how their fighting makes you feel.
2006-08-13 14:57:48 · answer #9 · answered by latingirl0527 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to stop their fight every time they start one .. and you be the judge every time, find what was the problem and fix it ... Because if the parents can't do it ... you can
2006-08-13 14:04:01 · answer #10 · answered by Luay14 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋