my stepmother literally hit my dad upside the head with a old coffee can and cut his face and made his tooth swell up. he left her for a few days and then went back to her. that wasn't the first time she has hit him and it really scares me because I am afraid that one day she is going to kill him. I need some advice on what I could say to him that might change his mind about this woman.
2006-08-13 06:35:28 · 19 answers · asked by greeneyes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Unfortunately there isn't much you as the child can do to come between your dad and his lover.
Obviously he is more infatuated with her than he is in love with her and he seems to have a co-dependency with her.
He probably feels unworthy of true love and that she is his only hope. And unless you are a psychiatrist there is not much you can do to convince him to realize this.
My suggestion is that if you have any type of faith in God you should start praying for his (your dad's) eyes to be opened to this potentially dangerous situation. I know people say that God doesn't listen to non-Christians but I differ with them through personal experience. God does love everyone and wants to bring everyone into his family and he will help you in your time of need as a show of his love for you and your dad.
We're talking desperate measures here. If nothing else is working do like most people and as a last resort ask God for help.
Hey! It can't hurt to try.
2006-08-13 06:50:42 · answer #1 · answered by BP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, sit down and have a talk with your Dad in a very loving and caring way. Ask him why he keeps on putting up with this kind of stuff? Tell him it is scaring you to death because you are afraid that one day she might hurt him really bad or even kill him. If it continues, you need to call the Adult Protective Services and tell them what is going on. You can find their number in the phone book. You can trust the APS and they will NEVER tell them or anyone else who called them. This woman is a very sick woman and needs counseling and maybe some type of antidepressant to help her. Adult Protective Services has counseling services. If this does no good, honey call the Police right away before she does hurt him really bad or even worse kills him. Don't worry about making your Dad mad-he will see that you are only trying to help him and to save him. You need to make your moves right away by calling the APS and turning this in to them. Wouldn't you rather your Dad be a little upset with you if he knew you called the Police or someone else to help him than for him to be killed? This is so horrible. I know this is getting too common. It used to just mainly be men hitting women. But women have gotten ALOT worse also. Make your move before it is too late. I will be thinking about you ALOT and hope everything works out for you and your Dad. With Love!!!!!!!!
2006-08-13 16:18:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd like to know how old YOU are. Contact the police. You are a witness. The only problem is if you are of age, there's really nothing you can do, unless she is harming you. You have to convince your father to leave her for good, but before that, get a police report and a EPO (Emergency Protective Order) That would keep her in Jail for a few days. Then you can work on a restraining order. If you do it on a Friday, they'll keep her longer.
It's important for you to say that you fear for his life. If HE denies it you're screwed, and you look like the bad stepdaughter.
If you live with him and are underage, it's better. She can be held with more charges. Child endangerment and so on.
If your father is elderly there are also other charges. Or if he's handicapped....
2006-08-14 06:03:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to hide and record her doing this to your dad. Quietly use your cell phone and call the police to make a domestic report on your step-mom, or better yet, call and let the dispatcher here your step-mom yelling at your dad, when the police comes to your home, the can see the marks she placed on his face and body.
But, you have to try to take some kind of action or else she will continue to be abusive. Have your dad file a restraining order against her for domestic battery, and file for a divorce. If they haven't been married long, have your dad file for an anullement, to dissolved the marriage.
Get video and tape! Just don't make it obvious when you do it! She will be so focused on your dad, she won't have time to pay attention to you.
You do not have to wait until it happends again, get your story into the police ahead of time, fill out a report against her, and the next time it happends, five O will just follow up and cuff her and take her off to jail. Her behavior is dangerous to you emotionally, and to your dad phsyically. She might have been emotionally and physically abused growing up and is repeating the pattern from her up bringing. She sounds like she is out of control or just looney tunes!
Don't answer the phone when she calls, and do not bail her out, she will get the message. Change the locks on your doors when she does come out, that is if she get's arrested, but get that restraining order of protection against her ASAP!
Good luck with your situation, I hope everything turns out well for you and your dad. You both need some peace in your life!
2006-08-13 13:54:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I work for a domestic abuse organization and let me tell you THIS IS ILLEGAL. She has no right to hit your father if the tables were turned she would probably have him in jail so fast it would make your head spin. Another thing is you have the right to live in a save environment and this is just not healthy. Call the police and file a report yourself, you may be a minor, but you do have rights. Good luck.
2006-08-13 14:46:06 · answer #5 · answered by m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the police without her knowing. Ask him if it is okay for you to get some licks in. Maybe the stupidity of the question will set home with him. Ask him how he would feel if a boyfriend beat you. Abuse is wrong.
2006-08-13 13:41:12 · answer #6 · answered by kitty cat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Next time this happens( and I pray it doesn't) you need to contact the police, in the meantime, if you cannot talk to you dad about it, does he have any brothers or sisters that you can confide in, tell them what is going on, maybe they can talk to your dad. Siblings do tend to stick together in situations like this.
Good Luck ..
2006-08-13 14:47:55 · answer #7 · answered by sunshine1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to throw that b#tch a good ole fashioned a$$ whoopin. what is wronge with your dad? I don't advocate hitting women, but if I were in that situation I would. You only have one dad, and when he is gone, thats it. Think of it like this. one day when your dad is dead, and he leaves all his money, home, car and everything to someone, how would you feel if it all went to her? people like that will manipulate hime in to something like that, so you need to kick that bi#tchs *** now and set things straight.
2006-08-13 13:44:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Convince him 2 leave her, even if it takes 4 u 2 lie on her. Lie 2 him & say u saw her with another man.
2006-08-13 13:41:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked actually to your dad about it.Your dad seems like the most helpless man on earth.
2006-08-13 13:45:02 · answer #10 · answered by uncoolmom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋