and its not in baby showers, even when I attend functions, they always ask us when will we ever have kids, how should I tell this people to back off nicely and just live us alone.
2006-08-13 06:18:26 · 20 answers · asked by randys_gem 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
and its not just in baby showers even in other functions, friends and relatives will come up to me and ask us when will we ever have kids, and some are rude telling us we don't know how to make one that other's who are younger than us are having one before us (they make it sound like it's a contest). How can I tell them to back off nicely?
2006-08-13 06:21:17 · update #1
You could be polite and inform them that you really, really do not appreciate it when they keep badgering you about it.
Or you could just ask them something you've been wondering about as well - when they'll start minding their own business :D
Being polite is fine and all, but anybody who implies (or just says outright) that you don't know how to conceive children is out of line. They don't deserve you being considerate of their feelings. Saying something like that is truly inexcusable, especially considering that it's nobody else's business.
Good luck :).
2006-08-13 06:29:08 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I wish I knew how to get them to stop with those questions. I've been married for 3 years and we're constantly being asked when we're going to have children. So far I've told people the truth, that we don't want children, at least not in the near future, but that only makes things worse and they go on asking why and trying to change our minds etc. It's very annoying. I wish people would just back off and respect our decision.
Maybe it's better to just tell people that it's a personal decision and that you're not planning anything at the moment. It might help to mention that you're getting pretty tired of hearing that question. Maybe it will make people think a bit before they ask someone about this again.
2006-08-13 23:58:22 · answer #2 · answered by undir 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-17 10:09:24 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess this is a pretty common problem, unfortunately!
It's funny because my boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years and people just can NOT understand why we're not married and having kids. (We're 25 & 26, and all of our friends are doing the marriage and a baby thing.) So we have to field questions like this ALL the time. Ugh.
Anyway, back to you, considering this is your question : ) ...
What you could say is, "I appreciate your concern/thanks for being interested, but it's a personal decision that we haven't made yet. We'll be happy to share the news if anything changes."
I think it's good because it's firm, without being rude, & it also shuts people up!
By the way, when are you having kids anyway?
sorry, I just couldn't resist...
2006-08-13 07:03:44 · answer #4 · answered by Seeka007 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Seems like you have a lot of friends! Why don't you stop the questions once and for all and get some "gifts" by having a "Not a Shower, Shower Party"? Send out invitations saying something like: Mr John Doe and Ms. Jane Smane are pleased to announce they will not have any children soon, but would like you to share in our life's happiness by attending a party at xyz rd, 123 ny on Aug.21 2006....Multiple Gifts are appropriate!!! Cocktails, and dinner will be served promptly at 800pm; Cocktails at 630pm; RSVP by ....Have fun with it!
2006-08-13 06:28:44 · answer #5 · answered by sweet ivy lyn 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I got married in Febuary and people ask me all the time when my husband and I are going to have a little one. My mother and step father even bother me about it. Just try to change the subject or if you must respond tell them you are not ready to have a child yet. Good luck
2006-08-13 06:56:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hold your ground gf! Yes, I think you shoud tell them nicely to back off. People have this misguided idea that one people deem themselves a couple, that automatically means marriage, which automatically means children.
Maybe refrain from going to the baby showers? Just send a gift or something.
2006-08-13 06:24:13 · answer #7 · answered by Ana 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd be tempted to look at them with a look of sorrow in my eyes, and say something like, "We've tried, but we just can't get pregnant. Thank's so much for making me feel horrible!" (Even if it isn't true) It might make them feel horrible, and then they'll stop asking you. Of course, if you do that, they'll probably start giving you unwanted advice on how to get pregnant.
I guess the best answer would be to say something like, "That's a very personal question. Why would you ever ask such a personal question when it's really none of your business?"
2006-08-13 10:17:40 · answer #8 · answered by Mama Pastafarian 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I usually have a sarcastic comeback like: Oh, are you already saving for the baby shower gift? We'd like savings bonds...or, Have you SEEN some of the people who procreate these days? We're waiting until we can selectively choose our baby's genes....or, You know, I just found out that I can't have children. I had gotten my mind off it for two minutes and you just reminded me....
People don't ask me anymore. ;)
2006-08-13 06:25:08 · answer #9 · answered by curiositycat 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Dear m'lady,
I notice this happens to me and my fiancé a whole lot too. We just laugh it off and not take it too seriously. Most people don't have a lot to talk about so they like to bring up things as conversation.
Kind Regards,
Ben
2006-08-13 06:21:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋