what is the best way to control temper?

Question

I was at work and I keep getting really angry all the time and I have a bad temper. My boss told me that if I don't control my temper, I will be fired. what is the best way to control the temper? please help

Answer 1

there was a classic example used in my psychology class, of a person who puts a coin in a vending machine and nothing comes out... that is frustration. There are various ways to deal with frustration, some better and more effective than others. We can just kick the machine, which rarely works. We can look at it and try to figure out why it is not working, and think about what we might be able to do to fix it. We can call the number on the machine to get a refund.

The alternatives mentioned above are in the category of problem solving skills,, similar to conflict resolution skills. Especially if we come from a background that is dysfunctional we might not have very good constructive problem solving or conflict resolution skills, and revert back to the more primitive 'kick the machine' types of aggressive and controlling attempts.

controlling your temper involves learning better skills when you are frustrated. To learn these you need counseling in that regard, and can call your local mental health clinic to find out what is available in your area.

I had the same problem, and one thing I did was to go through a program called AVP, Alternatives to Violence Program. I was not in jail. I took it with a local Quaker group, and then I did the second part of it that was held in a jail : http://www.avpusa.org/

I also participated in a local conflict mediation series of workshops.

there are conflict resolution courses,,, here are links:

http://www.crnhq.org/twelveskills.html

http://www.grad.ubc.ca/gradpd/guides/conflict.html

Answer 2

What will control your temper? It's called maturity and 26 is a good time to develop some. The only control you will ever have is self-control. Lack of which causes most of the trouble we read about here in Yahoo. Practice makes perfect. The first step? own it, next time you lose your temper, catch yourself, apologize, and tell the person you are yelling at that you need a "retake", then say what you need to without yelling, cursing, or being rude. Practice makes perfect. It can be done. I've seen it. Good luck.

Answer 3

Figure out what is making you feel angry. Think before you go off on a tangent. It is called putting your mouth in motion before engaging you brain in gear when someone goes off and say things in anger. Count to a certain number if you need to before saying a word. It will take practice and patience to overcome a bad temper. Only if you try very hard will you be able to do this. So, hang in there and do your best to keep your cool. I hope this helps.

Answer 4

Find an Anger management class/group. Try the old "count to ten" regimen. Find alternative ways to handle stress. Walk away from the situation. A therapist or psychologist may be able to assist you as well! Good luck!

Answer 5

You could try some Buddhist meditation every day to start with. Also, reviewing why you lose your temper and analyzing the way you react might help.

Answer 6

You should really see a Psychiatrist. They can put you in an anger management group to give you coping skills. I'd say just count to 10, but it's not always that simple.

Answer 7

stop sweating the small things in life,they aren't worth it,life is to short to be angry all the time.

Answer 8

Deep breathing.

Answer 9

seriously like the guy above me said ..... get a punching bag and wail on it every night .... it really gets it out of your system

Answer 10

there is nothing on a job that important...let those things flow like water on a ducks' back