This is how it goes. I went to babysit for a family so the mother could get a job. That was May 13, 2006 On Mother's Day she woke me up at 6:30 am and asked me to watch the 2 1/2 year old little girl. I told her no problem. She took off with her boyfriend ( I didn't know at the time until she called 5 hours later and told me) and later on when her husband called to talk to her she wanted me to lie to him about where she was. Well I didn't. She left her husband and a beautiful little girl for a jerk that can't keep a job.
She did the samething to her son when he was 2 1/2. Please tell me what you think and how do I tell this little girl when she asks me when she is older about her real mom who so far has cancled 3 of 4 vistations? He took her back three times and now he divorcing her. It will be final next week and he has physical custady of there daughter.
2006-08-13 04:01:39 · 12 answers · asked by michigan_redneck_lover 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Wait till she hold enough to understand the whole truth. But also do not lie to her. Just tell her mom went away. Do not let her know that her mother is coming for visit . If her mother is telling she is coming and doesn't show up she will remember it. I know that this little girl is hurting and you want to protect, but sometimes we need to learn life's lessons so we can be better for our own children in the future. Nothing says we can't make them as easy as possible.
2006-08-19 16:25:37 · answer #1 · answered by mysticideas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first off it sounds like you are planning on babysitting for this family for a very long time. Or maybe you are emotionally involved with the father now.
At any rate even if you married the father it would not be your place to tell the children anything at all about their mother or their circumstances.
In legal terminology that is called toxic parenting and can be used by the other side as grounds to restrict or eliminate parental visitation. It emotionally harms any child to be told negative things about the other parent,no matter how justly deserved the comments.
I am paternal grandmother of a 7 year old grandson and I gained custody of him partly because of the emotional trauma his mother and stepfather were causing him.
be careful that you do not let your opinion spill over into this MAN'S CHILDREN'S Lives.
you may be caring but care constructively.
Good Luck
2006-08-20 07:19:41 · answer #2 · answered by Makingwishes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Parents shouldn't do this stuff to their kids. They should be stronger. Anyway....
Don't tell the little girl anything. It's her father's place to decide when and if anything is to be told. You're in a mentor/friend position so just watch out for her and show her kindness at all times. You cannot replace her mother but you can show her not all women are as indecisive and egocentric as the one who gave birth to her.
A very sad situation; hope things go better.
2006-08-20 05:51:18 · answer #3 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that her father should be the one to tell her. and her birth mother should have told her when she was leaving.
eventually the little girl is going to wonder about her mom and start asking. but if the mom isnt in the picture, the little girl will figure some things out herself.
dont paint a really bad picture of her mother. the kid will figure that out on her own. she must have had some good traits otherwise her dad wouldnt have married her in the first place.
2006-08-19 21:57:20 · answer #4 · answered by lodeemae 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know from personal experience the feeling of loss when you do not know a birth parent. I am 63 years old and still trying to find information on my father, I feel I have lost part of my life because he was never a part of it.
I do not understand how a parent, especially a mother can walk out on her own flesh and blood.
I am single now as my x wife moved in with her boy friend when my youngest child turned 18. Even though my children are older than the ones you mention, they will never forgive her. I know two of mine will never forgive their mother and as a consequence she has never seen her grandchildren, which I believe is a pity but she gave up that right when she abandoned them.
I might add the boyfriend kicked her out on her but when he found a younger one.
I believe your friend will find someone who will care for the little girl as their own and she will have a good life.
Lots of luck.
2006-08-18 18:57:17 · answer #5 · answered by Swaggie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As far as i can see ........ your that child only hope ...to know her mom........ i would not take that away from her..... how would you feel if your mother was just like hers would you want someone to inform you that kind of information......... your gonna kill her dreams of a perfect mother.........it doesn't matter what her mother does......its what you say that will stay in her mind always. she's growing up.......no need to do that to her ....... she has eyes and ears she will understand before you know it and if she ask just tell her that her mother loves her very much, just give her mom some time to get herself together.... and you stand by that child till God has another plan for you.... she will thank you in the long run.....and will always know that you loved her that much that you never spoke bab about her mother...when the rest of the world did.......................it doesn't matter how good or how bad a mother is ....in that child eyes her mother is the best thing ever....... don't kill her dreams
2006-08-20 05:11:52 · answer #6 · answered by lapeachroses 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well hunny u need to be honest with the little girl. But wait until she gets a little older because right now she is not gonna understand.
2006-08-19 18:28:24 · answer #7 · answered by Veronica A 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it should be your place to discuss these issues with them alone. Have their father or a counselor address these things. If you want to help, write down all the questions they are asking or you anticipate they will ask. Give the list to the dad, saying, "I don't want to answer these. They are or will be asking them. Will you please address this?"
2006-08-13 12:01:14 · answer #8 · answered by onemorealternative 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It isn't your place or job to tell this little girl anything (unless you and her dad have a little thing you forgot to mention). You are just the babysitter. Leave it for her dad to tell her.
2006-08-19 18:18:15 · answer #9 · answered by fin 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell the lil gurl that her mom has left! tell her dkrait up but break it 2 her gently
2006-08-19 12:47:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋