My son will be 4 in Jan. He wil not poo in the potty or on the loo, only in his nappy.Help?

Question

He will do a wee in the loo or potty and has been for the last 8months. He is starting playschool in Sept and wont be excepted unless he is fully potty trainned. Please help. Estelle Lewis- mother of 3

Answer 1

I had the same problem with my son and had a week to get him potty trained. I found if I put whatever was in his nappy in the potty and just sat him on there for a wee (preferably without letting him see what was in it).... when he got off I just praised him for being a good boy... within 2 days he used the potty properly and by the end of the week he was potty trained... lol, hope it helps

Answer 2

Firstly NO PUNISHMENT and NO STRESSING. The more stressed you get about the situation the more stressed and scared he will get and hold on.

Make sure he is not constipated. If he is then the pain of passing a stool could be the reason he is not using the toilet, as a nappy is softer and more convenient. Also, make sure your older children have not told him any scary toilet storys about pooing which may cause him fear of the toilet (this happened to my friends little girl and the mum was unaware until her daughter mentioned a monster in the toilet).

I found that when my son had a poo in his nappy, or an accident on the floor, then I showed him where the poo should go, let him hear the plop which he found very funny, and then let him flush his poo away. He then seemed to understand where his poo should go and that it was not scary, that there was just water in the bottom. I made it enjoyable and fun.

I think it is better to get a kids toilet seat from him to use and to use the toilet for a poo rather than a potty, as my son found the poo too close to his bum in a potty and the potty is uncomfortable to sit on and open your bowels comforatably (you try sitting on a hard plastic potty all squatted and try and open your bowels comfortably!!)

All in all, dont get stressed with him, dont push him and make sure he relaxes. the more relaxed he is and the more accessable the toilet is for him the more likely he is to use it. I also had no nappy days on days when I was home all day, which made him use the toilet on his own accord, a few accidents happened at first, but the whole showing him where it should goes worked quite quickly.

Hope it all goes ok.

Answer 3

don't stress about it the kids pick up on this and it just adds pressure he'll go when he's good and ready some kids just take longer than others. but a good program i have used is the charmin program they have a free potty kit and everything i believe it is charmin.com the kids love the stickers too. I don't like some of these answers you should never punish a kid for not being ready to potty its not right or fair to the child but i dont advise taking the nappy away all at once small steps try maybe 2-3 hours with just underwear (a favorite character helps) and do try the seat that fits on toilet too (again the favorite character thing) encouragement is key don't discourage or be embarrassed when he has an accident as it will definately happen from time to time no matter the age. and im not sure how they work but u may want to try pull-ups feel-n-learn checkout pullups.com they may also have some great advise. :-) GOOD LUCK. Most of all be prepared for those little surprises when the nappy comes off especially the ones you can smell but can't locate for the life of you LOL thats what makes it so fun to have these little guys oh and can't stress enough on the word FEBREEZE its a life saver.........

Answer 4

This can be an issue with toddlers - Freud linked it with losing part of the body, and it can also be linked with asserting independence. One answer I read in a parenting magazine might be useful as the more you make an issue of it, the bigger an issue it becomes and it becomes a very unhappy battle of wills.

This mother - who had the same problem - told her toddler about all the poos going out to sea and that if her son didn't poo on the toilet, his poo couldn't join its friends which would be mean. She also encouraged her son to join in flushing and hand washing.

A more traditional way would be to use a star or reward chart and keep calm with your voice and your body language. If you are calm (or appear to be!) and not making an issue this is half the battle. Good luck - I hope you find some good advice on yahoo as you will be worried about playschool.

Answer 5

hmmmmm...that is a challenge. Perhaps you can try periods in the day where he is not wearing nappies but regular underwear. Or simply try leaving the nappies for bedtime. Now I understand that this will be a challenge for you and nothing is guaranteed. It may just work.

With my daughter I started little by little using the nappies less, then I stopped using them and bought her pretty panties. She loved it because mommy was wearing the same ones. I made a show of going to the bathroom saying, "Mommy has to go to the bathroom". Perhaps you can get your son smaller version of what dad wears. It may sound silly but it works because children usually mimic their parents because they are looking for similarities and doing comparisons.

At night I put a plastic under the sheets just in case she pee so the pee will not soak through to the mattress. I would gently wake her after some time to see if she wanted to go. I checked the time she went to bed so if she happens to pee I take note of how long she slept and use that as my guide to gently wake her to use the loo. It sounds like a lot of work. It did not take long. Every child is different and you know your child better than anyone. I am no expert on children, just a mother who found a solution that worked for her child.

What are the experts saying, check the site below. Goodluck

Answer 6

My little girl whos 4 in December has only just got clean day and night, but my son whos 5 has only been clean for about 9 months
Boys are definately slower in getting clean.
I found the secret with all 3 of my kids wasn't to force them. People kept saying to me that they should be clean blah de blah, but I just let them do it in their own time.
I understand you need to get him clean within a few weeks, it won't be easy but it is possible.
Have you let him see you go to the toilet? I find that always help, and also try sticker and reward charts. Everytime he goes to the toilet put a sticker on a chart and tell him if he gets 10 stickers on the chart he can have a reward. DON'T let them be extravegent though, a chocolate bar or sweets will do fine.
Don't be tempted to give in to him. Make him earn goodies by using the toilet. If you deprive him of sweets he'll use the toilet to earn them - Trust me!!
A lot of kids find doing a poo a bit scary, so try to be patient.Look on the bright side, at least he's weeing in the toilet.
Good Luck!!!

Answer 7

I don't like to judge people with their parenting but hun you have left the door wide open as at four there should be no sign of nappies on that child. Come on you say you are a mother of 3, if that is the case then you should know that 4 is not a good age to have a child in nappies. I hate to say it but are you sure this is not down to your own laziness? I don't mean this is a bad way as this could be down to stress and just going with the flow for an easy life but you need to think of that child, get him out of the nappies asap. If you are a mother of 3 then you know how to do it.

Answer 8

I recently read in a magazine about a boy with the same problem.. It turned out that he had slight constipation and could only poo by pacing up and down- it was too painful for him to sit on the potty, and this was caused by drinking too much milk. Do you think that could be what has happened?
Just be firm with him.
Tell him that there are no more nappies in the shops and that you can't buy them for him anymore because he is too big for them now.

Answer 9

firstly get rid of the nappy's whatever happens. some children are much slower than others dont make a big deal about it . he is probably afraid of the toilet itself get a ring seat and hold him gently just for a few minutes so that he feels secure .. let him see other peole using the loo, especially children. dont worry about it will happen all of a sudden we were in the same situation and he was well able to use the loo when the time came for him to go to school

Answer 10

Make him clean himself if he poo's in his pants. Or no more diapers, pull ups or even underwear make him run naked for a day that way he doesn't have pants to poo in.
Also make him a sticker chart and let him pick out the stickers and tell him that when he poo's in the potty he will get a sticker as well as buy him his favorite candy and the only time he can have it is if he goes poo in the potty.
Good Luck