Why did he marry her?

Question

I was with this guy from London (I live in Manchester), on and off for about a year. My daughter loved him to bits and he loved her. We had a very passionate relationship which meant that we had a lot of pasionate heater arguments as well as the good stuff! Well, when we spit up I thought it was just one of those split/get back together things... but he wouldn't return my calls or my emails, for months! He then changed his mobile number and email address so that I couldn't contact him at all!

I just found out that he met someone shortly after we split and five months later - married her! Apparently, they are happy. But how can they be? He still loves me, and I still love him (over a year later). Although I haven't spoken to him since we split, I think about him all the time.

Should I contact him somehow and tell him I still love him? Why did he marry her - he must have been on the rebound (so it will never work anyway!)

Answer 1

Sometimes, you just KNOW you'll want to be with that person forever. You don't need a logical explanation. When it's love, it's never logical.

How do you know he still loves you if you haven't spoken since the split?

Obviously, he doesn't want anything to do with you (or the past). He wants to focus on his future with his wife.

DO NOT contact him. Possibly, you're doing all this because your daughter is attached to him?

Think about the effects of your decision. Based on what you've stated, he wouldn't be happy to hear from you. Save yourself the hurt. It's better for some questions to be left unanswered.

Answer 2

You really need to move on with your life,he's taken,he's with someone else now. For all you know he was seeing her the whole time he was seeing you also.
Perhaps that is the cause for most of the "heated" arguments in your relationship with him.
I would not contact him at all especially if he didn't even have the decency to communicate with you and let you know that he is getting married.
He obviously had no respect for you,not even as a human being,let alone a person that he was in a relationship with.
Unfortunately ,you will probably take it out on the next 3 or 4 guys you will eventually meet,guys like your ex make it hard for guys like me . I have been on the receiving end of a rebounded girl a few times.
I would chalk it up as a learning experience and move on ,sorry there is really nothing you can do.
Eventually he might see the error of his ways and regret what he did to you.
If he just married this woman to hurt you,then he will be the one that will be hurting in the end once he sees that you have moved on.

Answer 3

No, I wouldn't contact him - he's married. I know it's really really really painful, and perhaps if they were in a relationship just you could tell him how you feel, but marriage is different... He's made a committment to someone else, for life, and I think you should respect that.

It might not work, you're right, but I really think it'll just be a big mess if you try and get yourself back involved with him - it certainly won't make you happy seeing him now and again, and then him trotting home to wifey. Plus, as much as you probably hate this woman, she hasn't done anything wrong.

Sorry - I hope this isn't coming across as a lecture ! I just think the best thing for you is to try and move on, maybe find a stepping stone (you know, some bloke to get you over him!)

Good luck x

Answer 4

If he changed his contact details that firstly implies that he did not want any further contact from you. I know its hard when things happen in our lives that we didn't expect but you have to accept that things won't go back to the way it was and that he has moved on even if it was soon after...Is it possible he knew this person while you two were dating? Love is a funny thing sometimes we can love someone very deeply but for many reasons know that it will not work. I'd move on, spoil yourself and get a new hair do, excersise, do things you enjoy doing that will make you glow inside and out. You will find someone else that is going to love you and your daughter unconditionally. Who knows he might realise in years to come what a mistake he's made and come looking for you...then you can have the satisfaction of telling him that your happier now than when you were with him.

Answer 5

Believe me girl, i know how your feeling like your heart is just aching and you can't imagine ever being happy without him but I'm going to tell you a secret.

The fact is that if he wanted to be with you he would be nothing would keep him away, i know its hard to take but the fact of the matter is that he has chosen the other woman and whether their happy or not is irrelevant to you.

You holding out for him is only going to delay your healing, don't even consider getting in touch with him, you will only feel worse for doing that when he doesn't respond the way you want him to. Do not lose your dignity. As you will only offer yourself to be used by him if his relationship does fail.

You are more than likely a lovely young woman but believe me when i say, you do not need this man to make you happy. You also do not need to jump into another relationship to get over him as you will only transfer that need onto someone else.

You must just focus on yourself and your child, and look to the future, as your future will be good, what does not break you makes you stronger. One day you will look back and be glad of the experience as long as you are open to learn from it.

If times without him become unbearable just take some quiet time and pray for God to help you get through it and he will. YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH! God bless you.

Answer 6

You need to leave well alone. Move on like he has. It wasnt meant to be and splitting up two people is a really terrible thing. He has made it quite clear by changing all the ways you can contact him so take the hint and leave him and his new wife alone. There are plenty of guys out there for you, and what makes you think he still loves you if you havnt even seen him since you broke up. Get over it

Answer 7

wake up there is only so much that people will take from one another there are 2 sides two a story I'm thinking that you did something and he had it he nee ed more than what you where giving him you should leave him alone he married someone Else let it go you need to move on apparently he feel in love with her and some people can do that have you ever heard of love at first sight well that's probably what happened

Answer 8

Sorry but you need to move on, it would not have lasted and do you really want to put your daughter through a messy divorce? Sounds like he wasn't as keen on you as you were of him? A relationship is more than just passion, it's about trust and friendship, trust me i have been married for 28 years to my second wife. So get out there and find Mr right - he's out there somewhere!

Answer 9

Sorry but don't kid yourself you still may be in love but he has moved on. Changing his phone number is telling you he doesn't want contacting.

Now is the time to remember your pride pick yourself up and start over. Tell yourself they will never work if it helps you but stay away, make a new life, to see someone rebuilding their life hurts these people far more that seeing them pine and suffer they enjoy that don't give them the satisfaction.

Answer 10

ok so you think he did it on the rebound. well if he did and it doesnt work out then he could come back to you right. anyways i think a whole year after you guys broke up is enough time for you to get out there and find someone new. cos like the marriage register says, your love is in love with and married to someone else.