Doctor true stories..
A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
--Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. Big breaths," I instructed. Yes, they used to be," remorsefully replied the patient.
--Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
--Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada
I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.
--Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA
During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
--Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bed-ridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was alive."
--Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So, how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
--Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.'"
--won't admit his name.
2006-08-12 22:26:46 · 8 answers · asked by KITKAT 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I heard this one dont know if its true...
A young punk rocker girl goes to have a baby, when the nurses go to prep her for the c-section they noticed that the young girl had dyed her private area hair green, and above it was a tattoo that read, KEEP OFF GRASS, the doctor did the surgery with great ease and after stitching her back up he placed surgical tape above the tattoo and wrote the words, SORRY we had to mow the lawn.
2006-08-12 22:29:56 · update #1
buyaksha
KY JELLY IS A LUBRICANT
2006-08-13 01:23:29 · update #2
lol those are funny
2006-08-12 22:53:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
My neice was riding in the car to school with her mom and she was holding her hand out the window, her mom said get your hand inside. Little Brittany said why? Because this is a Democracy, said her mom. The five year old suddenly blurted out "there's only two of us...that's not a Democracy, that's a Momarchy!"
2006-08-13 08:07:01 · answer #2 · answered by Boliver Bumgut 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Very good ones...post more please. The one below is the most decent one and i like it very much:
A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously...
Well done!
2006-08-18 07:50:50 · answer #3 · answered by easyboy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
those were really funny but i dont get the ky jelly one
2006-08-13 08:09:59 · answer #4 · answered by buyaksha 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Turn up your speakers to watch and giggle at this true story!
http://www.yourdailymedia.com/media/1152360540/Dog_Wins_A_Game_Of_Simon_Says
2006-08-13 18:00:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
those are the funniest jokes i have heard yet
2006-08-19 04:32:59 · answer #6 · answered by candy_corn_craver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all were funny
2006-08-17 18:30:20 · answer #7 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way I can bet those. Thanks for the chuckles!!!
2006-08-13 06:04:16 · answer #8 · answered by Cali Girl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋