My mother is planning to abandon me. She's leaving to Mexico with her "husband" and she's leaving me,I'm 15. She says she's tired of being a mother and that she's too young to be tied up with kids. She's 41.I have siblings of 9, 19, and 22. I know she started young but how is that my fault? The hard thing is that all I've ever wanted is her happiness. I've been willing to sacrafice anything for her to be happy. She taked me for granted and I'm tired of it. Her "husband" molested me and she still doesn't care. I did tell her and all my siblings. We confronted him and everything but in the end it was her choice to get rid of him or not and she didn't but that doesn't bother me anymore. He doesn't do it anymore. Anyway, I just can't imagine leaving my children like that. How can you choose a man over your own blood? And she just met the guy not even a year ago. To be with him she cheated on my other stepdad. Well, this is my 7th stepdad now. Im so different than her. Why is she like that?
2006-08-12 20:50:26 · 21 answers · asked by Athena 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would never be able to call authorities... it isn't in me to do it...
2006-08-12 20:58:10 · update #1
Oh yeah... and my dad died when I was 11... Most of my family is in another country.
2006-08-12 21:02:22 · update #2
Oh yeah... and my dad died when I was 11... Most of my family is in another country.
2006-08-12 21:04:22 · update #3
I'm so sorry...
Some people are just built differently. My mom left my family when I was 5 for a guy in a band that played locally. She told my father and the court (during the custody hearing) that she was tired of being a mother and wanted nothing to do with my brother and I. Since then there have been countless men, each one "the love of her life", and I've given up on wishing for her to be a real mother. At some point you'll have to just forgive your mom, and accept that she will never be what you want and need. It took me quite a while to get to the point where I could do that, don't think I'm trying to tell you that it's easy.
My own mother and I actually do talk quite a bit these days. I realize that she's just not meant to be the kind of mother that I should have had, but there is nothing I can do to change that about her. I just try to accept her for who she is, and cherish the good points that she does have.
Also- if your mother's boyfriend molested you and she did nothing about it, you need to go further. This is not an excusable action, no matter what, and shame on your mother for not realizing this. Being sexually harassed can cause self-esteem and self-worth problems later down the road, and can actually affect your own romantic relationships later on in life. There are hotlines and support groups that you can contact, and you should go to the authorities and report this man.
I wish you the best, and I hope this helps.
2006-08-12 21:02:58 · answer #1 · answered by kimberelena 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She's a whore. I'm not even going to try to explain why someone would do something like this.
What I am going to say is that you kids need protection. Someone needs to call either the Police or Child Protection Services. I hate getting them involved but this is an emergency. I can not stand the idea of you little ones being left destitute and alone.
No matter what happens you will have a rough time ahead for you. You sound like a survivor to me so I think that you personally will come out of this alright.
I've been reading some of the other answers and I'm wondering what planet some of these people are on. Don't call CPS because you'll wind in foster care? I think you are going to have to face a harsh reality right away. If your mother leaves who is going to buy the food? Who is going to pay the rent, pay for utilities? How will you afford clothes for school? Are you going to give up your education? Who is going to take care of the 9 year old while everyone is working? Are your 19 and 22 year old siblings ready to accept the responsibility for you two? If you have other family would they really be willing to take you in?
Has anyone given any consideration to what is actually going to happen to everyone if all the so called adults in your life take a hike? Are you really prepared to stand on street corners so you won't starve to death?
There are sometimes in life when you are forced to make extremely difficult dicisions based on the hard reality that is before you. Who knows, maybe your mother is just mouthing off, maybe she won't really leave but, if she does, what are you prepared to do in order to survive.
2006-08-13 04:01:18 · answer #2 · answered by Ellen J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety I am so sorry. I would love to be your mother. I know this may be difficult but you have to report that sick person for what he did to you. None of this is your fault. Your mother is losing out on a special person. How can anyone give up their child. A child should always come first no matter what. I know your heart is burning and I wish I could adpot you.
I just wanted to add that other people here should not be telling this child that her mother is a whore. This 15 year old is still a child herself besides her 9 year old sibling. She needs love and attention. There is nothing wrong with you and always remember that. Life may be bad or it may be good for different people. This should not have happened to you and you did not deserve this.
If this man is not reported he will continue to do this to other children. What if this was your child?
2006-08-13 03:58:29 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mom has major problems. No, she shouldn't be doing any of this stuff. On the other hand, it sounds like she's been a terrible mother. You need to get some help for yourself, and not from her, because it sounds like she's not helping. Your story is the saddest I've read today. Get out the phone book and try to get connected with a foster care network, and free therapy for teens. Do not call the police, though, because they won't let you see your mom, and they'll probably take custody of you and your siblings away from her. You need help, though, and you need it fast. If you've had the kind of childhood it sounds like you've had, you're going to need a lot of therapy to get over it. I know, because I had a difficult childhood, too. Hang in there. Remember, this is your mom's problem: you are deserving of love, and if you keep seeking, you will in the end find it. Good luck!!! And feel free to write if you're really in a bind.
2006-08-13 03:56:36 · answer #4 · answered by calliope 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am just so shocked and dismayed that people would do that i actually want to start crying after hearing that. it's not your fault. i would say call child services do something, anything but get away from her. she's like that because it appears she doesn't know when something great has happened to her. that guy will take her to mexico, steal all of her money, and then he will abandon her. if your 19 or 22 year old sibling can support more than one person then get away from your mother and live with them.
i hope things get a lot better quickly.
good luck
2006-08-13 04:04:33 · answer #5 · answered by Tony B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where is your dad? He is the one you should have told and I garentee he would be with your mom today. He might be missing. Tell your dad if he is around. If not tell your uncles. If you tell the police your mother will just lie for him and you will end up in foster care. Let your family handle this one. And whether he still does it or not, this is going to effect you in some way later on in your relationships. I promise it will. I know this personally. If I could I would have my family member taken care of . The police first want to make sure your not a liar then they want to make sure you not a whore then they might help you. I don't care what you are. If you want him gone. I promise this will work. Tell your father or your uncles and he will be out of your life. What about your sisters? are they ok Good luck . If you need to talk you can email me
Tracy
2006-08-13 04:00:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't thinkthat her leaving has anything to do with you or your sibblings. Sounds like your mother needs a lot of help. But, unfortunately she will probably not seek it out for she probably doesn't think she has a problem. Especially because she is caugh up in a vicious cycle where she goes through men over and over again. There are quite a bit of diseases out there and sounds like she is being affected very deeply by a few...some psychological and sexual. I'm sincerely sorry that you have to suffer through this situation....but you sound like a very strong headed individual! I'm certain that you will not give up on your self. If she decides to go let her go...for she will go in any case. One day she will realize that she made a mistake in leaving you now when you need her most. But, at the same time, focus on your self...continue to educate your self, go as far as you can, and be strong. Sooner or later life will toughen you...unfortunately it is easier sometimes with a mother by your side...but that's life...sometimes like the old cliche says..."if life gives you lemons, make lemonade with them..." Good luck and all the Blessing to you and your family!
2006-08-13 04:03:51 · answer #7 · answered by R T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry sweetie. She's probably like this because she has mental problems. Like seriously, there are people that are terrible afraid to die a lone so they go from man to man trying too look for 'mr.right" and when ever they think they've found him, they'll go after him, even if they're already with the first 'mr. right" I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's really unfortunate. Maybe you could call the cops or something? If he molested you and your mom is keeping him in the house you can definitely have a case. I'm sorry your mom is like that, I hope I helped.
2006-08-13 04:00:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you truly know your mother well as a person? What was her own childhood like? Perhaps her own childhood shaped her thoughts and emotions. Whatever it is, you can't stop her from leaving. I do admire you for your courage to go through rough times and emerge as a clear headed teenager.
Your main concern now should not be 'why is she like that?' but 'how can my siblings and I pull through this difficult period now that she's gone?' Don't forget, you have your 9 year-old sibling to care for, now that your mom's leaving you.
Seek inspiration from people who have overcome their personal odds in life. Don't harbour grudge and move on as a gracious young lady. There will always be unanswered questions in life, reconcile with that fact.
2006-08-13 04:00:34 · answer #9 · answered by citrusy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mmm....
Your mom is a *****, thats just it. I don't know why but if this is true, then yes she is. You might have to live with the 22 year old sibling and the 19 year old. I may become just you four together. I wish you the best of luck, and that it works out
2006-08-13 06:47:45 · answer #10 · answered by Legal Eagle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋