I have been with my boyfriend for five years and my mother doesn't like him and the idea of me having a boyfriend. At first it was difficult trying to have her understand that he's not going anywhere. Of course because I was young. But I would think after five years and now been a women with more of a right mind, an education and other accomplishment that I have proved myself. I'm in love with my boyfriend and plan on marrying him once we finish school. But how do I pull away from mother dear and clearly establish an adult relationship with my boyfriend. Help????
2006-08-12 18:48:05 · 8 answers · asked by PRBLKPRINCESS 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I hate to sound trite, but it's pretty easy - MOVE!
Once you are living in another town or city, you can do whatever you want! Is it possible for you to crash with friends or other family until you're done school? Or how about getting an evening and weekend job, so you can afford rent with a group of other students? Or move in with the boyfriend? Or see if there are any dorm rooms you can afford at your school? How about taking out a loan to help get you started living on your own?
If you have indeed already moved out, then the problem is even simpler - Caller ID! You choose when to answer, and be sure to have a voice mail set up so if your mom does have an emergency, you will receive the message.
There really isn't anything you need to say to her, just keep busy, live your life, and make time for her when you can. She is your mom, and that bond won't be broken just because you grow up. (In fact, she will be even more interested in your life once you start living it more privately!) Mothers...gotta love 'em!
2006-08-12 18:59:43 · answer #1 · answered by sweet_leaf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're 21. Your mom still has this influence because you are letting her have it. Being grown up is more than just your age dear. Cut the apron strings and stand on your own she'll get the picture, If that's really what You want. On the other hand maybe you are not really ready to let go??
2006-08-13 01:56:42 · answer #2 · answered by Mindi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How? You just do it. You cut the apron strings, establish your independence. It's not like your mom would disown you for it. You'd be doing yourself a favor (and most definately your boyfriend) if you draw the line in the sand now.
2006-08-13 01:51:17 · answer #3 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't your Mother who wont let you grow up, it is you. You are 21 years old, I am surprised your boyfriend is still around, after five years of putting up with you letting your Mother run your life. Cut the apron string now before you grow old with know one but your Mother. Let her know you love her but need your own space. She will come around if you stand your ground.
2006-08-13 01:56:35 · answer #4 · answered by Maggie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should have the big talk with your mom about your freedoms and independance but keep on mind she is only human and has feelings to.
ask her "is it my boyfriend or can ypou just not let go"
2006-08-13 01:52:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy..stop talking to your mom. Change your phone number. And if you live at home...MOVE OUT!
2006-08-13 01:51:17 · answer #6 · answered by Edward 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is doing this and its upsetting you. Get rid of her! Sounds cruel but, why be unhappy if your so happy loving him?
2006-08-13 01:51:41 · answer #7 · answered by good girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get some self-esteem training!
2006-08-13 01:50:14 · answer #8 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋