Am I over-reacting?

Question

I have been going out with my gf for about 2 months now. I'd say things are going pretty well. I was going to a going away party for a friend who is moving and I had asked her to go with me. I told her a couple of days in advance and she said she would go with me. So the day of the party came and she ended up standing me up, opting to go to the movies instead. When I asked her what was going on she said she didn't think I would mind that she didn't go. She said that we'd hung out every day that week (which was true) and didn't think I would be mad. This really pissed me off. I would mind if she had told me before hand but I think it's really rude and disrespectful to stand me up like that. Am I looking to much into this? Should I really be that pissed? B/c I am. To me, it's more than just not showing up...it's her being really rude to me and is kind of a reflection of what she thinks of me. Am I over-reacting?

Answer 1

Your emotional response is understandable, she did not show you any common courtesy or respect in doing this. But you haven't really "reacted" yet until you confront her not with your anger, but how her actions made you feel, which you definately need to do. Respect is right behind trust in the heirarchy of what it takes to maintain a good relationship, and just like trust, if you lose it, your relationship is on shaky ground.

This actually is not a good sign, truthfully. It shows that you've got a lot to talk about. Based on some clues you left in your question, I'd say she's probably beginning to feel like you're in her grill way too much, and she needs some air every once in a while. You should be prepared to explore this possibility with her and come to a decision together with her.

Answer 2

Well, I'm a girl and I don't think you're overreacting at all. If I was in your situation, I would definitley be PISSED OFF LIKE HELL. I agree that she should've told you in advance that she wouldn't be coming anymore, instead of standing you up like that. I hate it when people stand me up.
But you have to get over this problem or talk it out with her, or something. Relationships are kinda hard to maintain don't you think?
Your girlfriend thought it was not a big deal while you did. I don't blame you because that is totally messed up. But on the other hand, you will have to forgive her sometime. Hope you guys are alright! :)

Answer 3

I think the question you should also ask your gf is "I thought you told me you would come with me to the party, right?" Sometimes miscommunication can confuse these situations. If she admits to knowing she was meant to go with you then - you are SOOO not overreacting. Even your friends respect you more than to stand you up. If she is supposed to be your gf she should have never let you hanging. If she genuinely sounds like she didn't realize you expected her to go with you then the choice is yours. If this relationship is quite casual - then walk away. But if you think this relationship is going for the long haul then she needs to know how you are feeling and you will both need to work on putting this behind you.

Answer 4

hell yeah your over reacting think about it if she was in your shoes then you realize that damn im going to interupt her from hanging around with her friends and alot of inside jokes are going to be said that makes a person fell uncomfortable. What if you wanted to go out to the movies instead. YOu know its really not that big of adeal unless you told everyone hey my gf is going so what ever you all are buying buy for her toono she wasting money.

Answer 5

Well, i think it was stupid of her not to tell you before hand, and if she was going to the movies instead of a party, something at the movies appealed to her more then being with u. If this really gets u po-ed then i would dump her and look for someone who wont stand u up.

Answer 6

I think it was rude of her. I hate it when people make plans with you and back out without any explanation. She doesn't respect you and you need to sit down and talk with her before she does this or something like it again. my soon to be ex is the same way, he always blows me off, that's one reason we're getting a divorce. You need to be the most important thing to her and if you aren't you need to decide what else you can do.

Answer 7

No, I would say you are not over reacting. People are only as good as their word. If she can't do that she is probably going to lie about more things. She should have asked you if it would be OK if she didn't go. She had no respect for you. I would talk to her and tell her how you feel and let her know that you don't approve of how she treated you. Demand more for yourself.

Answer 8

no. if you feel strongly about commitments and holding up your end of the bargain usually you expect this from your partner. Probably you're more hurt than anything. I mean you didn't care that you had spent all week w/her and you still wanted to see her on the weekend, you can't see why that would be a problem for her either.

Answer 9

Nah. That was completely rude of her. I tried to see it from her view that you had hung out every day, but this was different. I would sit her down and have a nice long chat about respecting you.

Answer 10

you have a right to be mad but dont overreact beacause maybe she needs a little time to her self trust me ive been going out with some one for 5 months and only went on one date and we still love each other alot no matter if we see each other or not