I'm trying to do a poll here and also to get some ideas for when my husband and I (hopefully) have our baby next year. How did your sex life change after giving birth? When did it get back to normal? What can you suggest to keep your sex life exciting after having children? What worked for you and your partner? What didn't work?
thanks
2006-08-12 18:10:29 · 15 answers · asked by mkk 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
keep your child on a consistent schedule that is best for you and your husband. My husband goes to bed @10:00 so we put are kids down around 8:30 so we have some time for ourselves. Good Luck!
2006-08-12 18:22:53 · answer #1 · answered by Jill1012 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's kind of difficult at first. The baby consumes your time and energy. It helps if you try to share the baby care. Then your husband won't feel ignored so much.
Gradually it all comes back. When there are children in the house, you generally feel like you need to be more quiet about it.
There's kind of a nice side to that, too.
It is the changes in life that make it exciting. Sometimes sex is better if it's not so frequent. If you don't have a lock on your bedroom door, I would suggest getting one before your children are old enough to get up and come into your room at night.
Just leave the door locked while having sex, though. A child who needs attention at night should not be locked out of your room all night long.
2006-08-12 18:16:48 · answer #2 · answered by mia2kl2002 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i just had a baby boy, and I can tell you, you will be glad for the 6 week rest from sex. after the six weeks, it may be hard getting down like you used to because your vagina will change(even the size and/or the location of your g-spot and clitoris). Keeping it hot and exciting is HARD WORK. you do have to tend to the baby for the first month, and it is difficult making love like usual when are exhausted, have back pain, breast engorged and in pain, and then your mind and sexual drive isn't the same. when you do, take full advantage of it and handle your man like it was the last time you were getting some d*ck. make him daydream, this is due to the fact you definitely won't have it as often as before. you must make sure you also take care of yourself, having time for you (without the baby), do your nails, take a hot bath, masturbate, make sure that you feel sexy so your husband will feel that on you. just keep it new and NEVER EVER schedule sex with him. it will get boring TOO QUICK, and then before you know it, you will end up in divorce. it takes A LOT OF TIME, WORK, EFFORT AND PATIENCE.
2006-08-12 18:26:18 · answer #3 · answered by jmartinez_51 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god this is sooo funny because we had a similar problem lastnight!!! trust me it's very difficult, but at the same time it could be very exciting since you have to be quiet, quick and then there's the fear of getting caught by the older kid!!! I always seem to run into the problem where neither one of my kids seem to want to go to sleep (8 and 2 years old)! When they finally do go to sleep daddy and mommy are falling asleep also, OR they seem to ALWAYS wake up in the middle of the act and we never get to finish because they either won't go back to sleep or for you the mood has passed...not much of a turn on trying to get your kid to stop crying!!!!! I find that texting can be VERY helpful!!!! You can talk dirty back and forth kind of like foreplay that way you are both ready to go no need to "warm up" and you have more time to do the actual deed!!! :)
2006-08-15 03:33:59 · answer #4 · answered by sparkles 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can spice it up, girl! All the above suggestions are good, plus make an effort to add a romantic touch...light a candle, order food in, rub their shoulders or feet, get inventive with places to "do it"...kids certainly do NOT have to get in the way. We had 3 kids plus fostered kids sometimes...
Mind you, it may take effort, there were times I homeschooled my kids, kept a big garden, canned, etc etc, (talk about wiped out!) but remembered to make the effort in the intimacy dept. I sincerely think it made everything worth it and helped us remember we were a COUPLE before a family.
I am sorry to say this husband is gone now, but I will use this knowledge for the next one.
2006-08-12 18:55:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh dear... it never actually goes back to normal after baby. Parenthood is exhausting, and often the hormonal changes you go through can have a lousy effect on your sex drive. Not to mention, the child demands so much time and energy that, by the time you lay down at night, you're asleep before your head hits the pillow! It's exhausting. I had my youngest child seven years ago and I'm still not in the mood!
2006-08-12 18:16:35 · answer #6 · answered by ?princesshousewife? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What did not work is forcing it. Understanding is needed from both of you.
What did work is having a good relationship. If you are with your soul mate, the sex will be a natural thing that will come back quickly. Other than that, a child does not change what turns you on, but in a few years........ you will have to be quiet! :)
2006-08-12 18:15:42 · answer #7 · answered by J F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if the husband equally supports his wife then she may not be tired enough for sex , but be careful the child could cry at any time even when you r in the middle of the procuder so you can always take a help from your experience and reliable parents .
and always remember it is nopt the quantity but the quality of sex that is important.
2006-08-12 18:35:09 · answer #8 · answered by esses 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lock the kids in the closet for awhile...just kidding. having 4 kids we must be doing something right and its worth it. just that now we have to pay the babysitter more due to more kids =0). our sex life is great...i think...actually we get sooooo into sex after i have our baby. he loves my breast being bigger and after our 6weeks of not having sex due to "healing" from birth we are so worked up and cant keep our hands off each other. he told me one day that i was a cool wife. i asked why? he said you know my weak spot..... when i tease him i usually squeeze his butt or slowly move my hand to his front. he giggles and says the monkeys! then ill slowly walk to the room and he's right there behind me- literally! i think alot of touching and communicating. just showing affection and especially a mother needs this. also the equal housework helps so your not so stressed out too. lots of touching, eyecontact, and if you can play out a "sexual fantasy". your a mother you deserve it!
2006-08-12 18:22:52 · answer #9 · answered by ???? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well the first year isnt too bad... unless you have a fussy baby... but as they get older it definitely cuts into the time frame for getting kinky... but its doable....
my sex life got back to normal as soon as i got the go ahead from my doctor...
why wouldnt your sex life be just as exciting after children as before? granted it harder to meet him at the door naked and make like bunny rabbits in the living room so there is some compromise... but you can meet him in the bedroom naked.. ;)
kids go to bed early til they are teen agers, so its really not too bad....
2006-08-12 18:19:13 · answer #10 · answered by Resasour 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋