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I dont get it. I was at a wedding sitting and eating with some people I didn't know too well - they were talking about relationships and when they asked me if I'm involved and I said 'no.' Then some girl asked me "Well, what about in the past?" - I told them that I've never been involved with anyone before - a virgin basically.

They couldn't believe it for some reason. Then the table became quiet and no one really talked to me afterwards - I felt pretty discriminated against and also as if they were trying to embarass me for being a virgin with gossip. I have no problem saying that I'm a virgin - I'm not at all ashamed by it at all, but rather empowered that I don't 'give in' to any sexual impulses which makes me feel that I'm in complete control of myself.

I dont understand whats so bad about being a male virgin at 37, or really what there is to be ashamed of. With all the sex on TV and everywhere shouldn't one actually feel a little empowered that they can control it?

2006-08-12 18:10:20 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health Mental Health

Im an agnostic (irreligious).

Im NOT GAY lol.

2006-08-12 18:11:00 · update #1

18 answers

What do you have against sex? Being a virgin is not a bad thing, but why are you waiting? That's an awfully long time to remain a virgin.

2006-08-12 18:17:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

I don't see it as a problem either. My sister makes fun of me because I am 20 and a virgin and was dating someone for almost 2 years but never did anything with him.

When people bring up their virginity, I am proud to say I am a virgin because most people I talk to say, "Good for you!", and "I wish I were a virgin again."

To me, I just want the right guy to come along, you know? I think that's what you want to!

And I also think that people who pick at you for being a virgin are jealous of you and envy your will power.

Good for you!

And just like you said, I also feel empowered that I don't give in.

2006-08-12 18:39:20 · answer #2 · answered by bridgetrocks86 2 · 1 0

There is nothing wrong or weird about it, but in a society where people like sex and enjoy sex, it can be strange.

I'm not saying the reverse is looked upon better, but it's like a stigma that people have about people who don't have sex. And kind of the way you were making it sound about how your proud to not "give into the impulses" could be offensive to people who take what you are saying to mean they are loose and/or weakminded. It sounds very egotistical/stuck up.

Personally, I would think it was strange to meet someone who's never been in a relationship, but you have to do it when you feel it's right, not when others feel it is. If you never do, then that's your choice and you don't have to do things for others.

2006-08-12 18:16:49 · answer #3 · answered by existenz48162 3 · 0 0

Dude, Im sorry those idiots treated you like that at the wedding!
There is abso-effing-lutely nothing wrong with who you are, or the life choices you make.
You are the one who lives your life, and of course people WILL remark, talk about it because:
#1: its rare to hear that nowdays, and #2 most guys dont speak openly about things like that...
...so just be who you are, stand tall in your truths, and just laugh at THEM if that ever comes up again--after all it IS pretty funny that they find it THAT freakin weird or whatever! I mean seriously..ya know? If that's how they act when they hear about you being a 37 yr old virgin what's it say about THEM for pete's sake!

You just keep being the unique person that only YOU can be, and others will admire you for it, whether they say it or not-they will you can be positive of that!
you rock!
You are cool with your choices, you know what you want, and thats saying more than 80 % of the non virgin men I know!

Peace
Jill A

2006-08-12 18:43:53 · answer #4 · answered by Jill A 2 · 1 1

Well, all of your questions that you have asked on this site pertain to sexual desires, and would you's, ect. So, you saying that you are in "control" of this.....basic instinct...is false. You are obviously more consumed with the idea of having sex than you actually believe. You are just denying yourself a certain pleasure, much like a fat person deny's themselves desert so that they may lose a little weight. I think you just like the attention that it gets you to say that you are a virgin. Plus, In one statement you said you were 21 and now, this question says you are 37...so, which is it? Just curious you know....

2006-08-12 19:15:57 · answer #5 · answered by Ca-C 3 · 1 0

Coming from a "married with 2 children" 35 yr old woman, I think it is awesome there are still guys out there with self control. I was not a virgin when I got married. But looking back I wish I would have had more self control when I was younger. Everyone looked at my husband and I strange because we decided to get married first then WAIT 2 yrs before having children. I think that was the best thing for us.
Just wanted to let you know I think it is awesome!

2006-08-12 18:22:08 · answer #6 · answered by tinkerbelle71 1 · 1 1

I am proud of you for not giving in to the wrong person. I have a friend who was 37 and a virgin when he married, and he is very thankful that he waited until marriage to make that sexual commitment to one person.

I think society places way too much emphasis on sex and not enough emphasis on relationships. To tell a woman that you have waited for her and only her is a very amazing (and surprising) gift! Don't be ashamed of it.

When the time is right, and when the woman is the right one, you will have amazing sex and you will be so glad you waited.

GOOD FOR YOU!!

2006-08-12 18:15:42 · answer #7 · answered by Ifeelyourpain 4 · 3 1

Both my aunt and uncle were virgins at age 37 when they met and got married after of dating..and they had NO SEX until the wedding night!!
Really.

2006-08-12 18:31:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

You made a choice to not be intimate with anyone and others do not understand. They do not need to understand. Your sexuality is private and is basically no one's business. I really hope you will experience a wonderful and beautiful journey into intimacy and sexuality when you meet the one who is right for you.

2006-08-12 18:19:33 · answer #9 · answered by ValleyViolet 6 · 2 1

There is nothing wrong with it. I believe they got quiet because it is a little unusual and people don't know how to handle what they don't understand.

2006-08-12 18:18:43 · answer #10 · answered by boilerman426 2 · 0 0

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