give me the shortest and funniest jokes?......?

Question

please..........

Answer 1

http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages. I hope, it helps u.

Answer 2

Not the shortest:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.

He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"

Answer 3

A guy is arrested and brought before the judge. The judge says, " You were arrested by a Yosemite Park Ranger and your are charged with killing and eating a bald eagle. Bald Eagles are an endangered species and it is a felony to kill them, let alone eat one. How do you plead?" The guy says, "Guilty, your honor." The judge says, "Well, what do you have to say for yourself?" The guy says, "Your honor I was lost for 3 days without food in Yosemite National Park. If I hadn't killed and eaten that bald eagle, I surely would have died." The judge says, " I sympathesize with you and I will let you off the hook this time with the understanding that if you ever come before me again on a charge like this, I will throw the book at you." The guy says, "Thank you your honor." The judge says. " Before I let you go, I want you to answer a question for me just to satisfy my own curiosity. What does a bald eagle taste like?" The guy says, "Well, your honor , it's kind of a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl."

Answer 4

Riddles are the shortest type of joke. There are millions of riddles.

Here is a bad one:

Did you hear about the Indian that drank 40 gallons of tea?

He later drown in his own tepee.

LOL

Answer 5

FINALLY...THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.

She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop"

Answer 6

You really have to hand it to blind prostitutes

A cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

Death is hereditary

Men are like roses - watch out for the pricks

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

There are no Wal-Marts in Iraq. They're all Targets

I'm in shape. Round is a shape

Why don't blind people like to skydive? Because it scares the dog.

Answer 7

What do you call 4 blonds at the bottom of a lake?

An air pocket.

Answer 8

well, this is kindda bad. but i will say it anyway;
a man and a woman are taking a bath. their son enters the bathroom and ask his father "what is this dad?" pointing at his ****.
his father:this is a cucumber.
child:what is this mum, pointing at her****
his mother: it is a tomato. he goes out the bathroom to open the door for someone. it is his grandmother. she asks him"what are your parents doing?"
the boy replies "salad"

Answer 9

A mother, upon seeing her three daughters leaving the house, asked where they were going. The first daughter said, "I'm going with Pete to eat". "Okay", said the mother. The second daughter said, "I'm going with Lance to dance". "Okay", said the mother. The third daughter said, "I'm going with Chuck to.....". Before she could finish her sentence, the mother said, "Oh no, young lady, you are staying home!".

Answer 10

Q: What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

A: Taste

Answer 11

A mega brain sale is announced in U.S.A.

Newton's :$200

Edison's :$400

Ur brain :$25,000 b'coz its fresh & never used before!!!!!!!!


Dont mind its just a joke!