Why does my sister treat me like this?

Question

My sister has always treated me bad. I don't get why... When I was a child I used to be really sweet and I would do anything anyone told me to do so of course she took advantage. She used to bully me A LOT. Now, she always has a problem with me. Right now I have a boyfriend I am very much in love with but she's always critisizing him. She critisizes his race, his looks, everything. I'm getting so tired of her attitude. She doesn't respect me what-so-ever. There are times we get along great but that's getting more rare by the day. She also says I'm not being myself... That I'm always trying to be someone I'm not with my boyfriend and that's really not true... She says it because I'm getting into new music bands and the way I talk. Okay, I'm getting into new music. So what? I hear new music, I like it, I listen to it. What's wrong with that? Now, with the way I talk, I love different cultures and languages so I tend to pick up things from other people. What do I do?

She's four years older than me.

Answer 1

It sounds like she's your older sister. It's very simple, she loves you very much and she wants the best for you. She's looking out for you and this is her way of showing it. Everyone has a different way of saying "I love you" and her way is protecting you and maybe seeing you grow up and mature is hard for her. I know it might sound weird, but it's the same with my brother, it took me a while to realize what he was doing, i talked to him about trying to treat me like my actual age and things are getting better everyday. Good luck

Answer 2

you be yourself... at some point she will come to accept you..
but listen to what she says and think about it.. make sure you arent so wrapped up in defending the way you are that you don't hear what she's trying to tell you... listen to her and watch her.. what does she have to gain by telling you the things that she does? Do you really think she's running her own agenda? Or is there some truth to what she says? You know, unless you and her are very close in age, chances are she isn't running her own agenda... She is probably telling you like it is, only you dont see it... and you defend why you are the way you are, instead of asking yourself if its possible if she's right.... how do other people see you? Do they say the same things? Can you try to look in yourself and see what they are saying? Is is possible that you come off that way to others?
I really feel like if she's older than you by more than a couple of years, chances are she sees things in you that maybe you dont realize... if this is true though then other people will see it too... if your not sure, ask around.... see if anyone agrees with her statements... the more people that agree, the more likely she is right...
either way you need to be you.... and being you is not copying someone else.... but we all mimic what we like in others...
its part of our journey in "finding ourselves"

Answer 3

I think it is because maybe in some way she is jealous of you. sometimes it is just because she might want what you have, and she sees that you are changing in to a different person trying new things, and she is afraid to try that, so she resents you for it. If she does not respect you and as you said you rarely get along anymore, first tell her how you feel about her behavior and how you dislike the way she talks about your boyfriend, she should be mature enough to understand that; and if she doesnt; then both of you need time apart so you can live your life and she can live hers.

Answer 4

attempt and take it as a compliment. Your sister needless to say desires greater help in life than you do. It does not sense honest and it does not make it top, yet your parents needless to say have greater faith on your means to do great things without their help. they might additionally be attempting to no longer repeat the errors they made contained in the way they observed your sister. in line with possibility they suspect that by utilising making you independant, you will finally end up a greater nicely rounded individual, greater able to looking after your self. parents don't get an ordeal run with young babies. the 1st one is the guinea pig. the 2d gets the advantages contained in the long-term. could you decide on your parents to purchase you stuff if it meant you're able to finally end up like your sister?

Answer 5

It sounds to me like she is upset about losing the person she's been able to manipulate all these years, and now she's trying to manipulate you to change back to that person.

Don't listen to her about your boyfriend, all that matters is that you love him. She's not the one in the relationship so she has no grounds to complain about him. My two sisters don't understand why I'm with my boyfriend, but they still don't complain or criticize him, it's not their place to do that as long as I'm happy.

Listen to whatever music you want to, talk however you want to, and don't listen to her. Avoid talking to her, and when she's complaining or nagging at you just walk away and ignore it. She will eventually realize that she no longer has any power over you and hopefully will shut up.

Answer 6

really sorry that you kids have received such inadequate parenting. They should have trained you both to be loyal, loving, respectful, supportive, friendly, appreciative, happy, etc. siblings instead of what you describe.
my brother and i had a lot of similar problems and we were raised by two very ignorant and unhappy parents!

all you can do to reverse the damage your parents (not you two) created is to find ways to get back to loyalty, love, respect, acceptance and/or anything positive that you can come up with to rebuild a friendly, loving relationship with your sister.

go here: http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/home_family/sibling_rivalry.html

or research 'relationships' at google, etc.

Answer 7

She is an older or middle sister. They bully you when you are young and compete with you when you are older. She is Green! (jealous)

Be a sister to her but know you limits. Meaning, know how much time to spend around her. I would not bring my friends around here. I do not know if you live together. If you do not, make quick visits to see her occasionally until she grows up.

Answer 8

It seems like you and your sister need to confront each other. Explain things to her how you see them and then try to get her to explain whats bothering her. Maybe she thinks your really unhappy and hiding it or something.....who knows....you never will until you sit down and have a sincere conversation w/, honestly. If she is jealous or feeling down, try to help her help herself. All relationships have ups and downs, it shows how much you really love each other when your willing to bridge the differences. Thats my advice, now its up to you. Good Luck!!!!!

Answer 9

Seems she really didn't want you around from the start...To yourself be true.....Be yourself,if she makes remarks(and she will),tell her ignorance is Bliss and your way to happy. She needs to blow-out your candle ,to make hers good brighter. You should feel sorry her for. With all the criticism, she must be filled if resentment . Good Luck. Stay Happy!

Answer 10

Is she just jealous cause your happy? Is she prejudiced against his race? Maybe she's not being herself. Have you sat down and tried to talk to her? There's nothing worse than being pissed at one another for no legitimate reason. Its wonderful you have embraced his culture makes you a better person for being open!!!