I'm in a really bad situation. My boyfriend is in the military and we're expecting a child. I recently found out that he never got divorced. He told me the marriage had been annulled (sp) but turns out he is still married. What happens now (in reference to the baby) Will he get in trouble?
2006-08-12 16:50:19 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
He is still married, but last time he saw her was when they split up... i know this for a fact...someone that knows the two of them told me, and i know they wouldn't lie to me...
2006-08-12 17:01:28 · update #1
His "wife" has moved on..with someone else already... from what i know, she's not getting any kind of benefits...i don't know what the deal is.. he's in iraq right now, so it's hard to figure things out by talking to him...
2006-08-12 17:08:35 · update #2
He doesn't know that I know that he is still married.. i found out recently while he was in iraq...
2006-08-12 17:17:28 · update #3
When you think everything is going great, it just crumbles... great.... hmmm
2006-08-12 17:18:17 · update #4
He can get in trouble. He needs to get his divorce expedited. If he did in fact get an annulment, that alone should be sufficient, unless you're talking a religious annulment and not a civil one.
Adultery is a violation of Article 134, Uniform Code of Military Justice. The elements of the crime are as follow:
(1) That the accused wrongfully had sexual intercourse with a certain person;
(2) That, at the time, the accused or the other person was married to someone else; and
(3) That, under the circumstances, the conduct of the accused was to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces or was of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces.
The maximum punishment is a dishonorable discharge, forfeiture of all pay and allowances, and confinement for 1 year.
In recent times, however, the military has become less concerned with adultery. In many cases, it is handled by unit commanders, and not the Military Police. Often, it is handled administratively, under provisions of Article 15. In that case, it could result in forfeiture of pay, reduction in rank, extra duty and restricted to the barracks.
2006-08-12 17:00:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, the first question you should get an answer to is whether he is still legally married. If he was still married at the time the baby was conceived, you can prove that by doing a paternity test and that will be evidence of his adultery. The military generally does not pursue adultery unless the conduct is/was "detrimental to good order and discipline". Examples are affairs with superiors/subordinates spouses, publicly living together, flaunting the affair, etc. The worst that can happen if the issue is pushed is a court-martial, but it may just end up with nonjudicial punishment or a reprimand. The question I would ask is: If I push the issue, he gets court-martialed and goes to jail, who will pay me child support? In addition, you can get military benefits for your child if you prove it is his, i.e. medical insurance. One more thing: if you are near a military base, go to the legal assistance office there, tell them you have a child by him (you'll have to prove paternity and get an ID card for the child first) and talk to a lawyer there. Being vindictive and getting everybody in trouble isn't always the best solution.
2006-08-14 13:52:54 · answer #2 · answered by Alexandra G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Military are unlikely to be silly about this. My husband's an Army Officer. The only thing that he has a major problem with is relationships between people serving in the same Unit because of potential favouritism. If he were still living with his wife then I suspect his Senior Officer would take a dim view but as it sounds like he just hasn't got his act together over the paperwork, I think you should encourage him to deal with that quickly. Then if his personal situation comes into question, he has nothing to hide. What happens in reference to the baby is...nothing. Soldiers get women pregnant all the time!
2006-08-13 14:20:03 · answer #3 · answered by Kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to depend on his Commanding Officer. When we were stationed in Virgina, three of the guys my husband was over had committed adultery. Two of them were sent to the Captain because they were still married and living with their wives when they were with these other women. I know they both received confinement to the ship, and pay cut. The third guy was separated from his wife, but not yet divorced, so since my husband was his Chief, he had to counsel him. (In other words, he told him not to do it again and wrote him up)
If your boyfriend is still married to this girl, she is entitled to his benefits. She is entitled to medical, dental, everything! As long as she has the ID card, she has all the privileges we Military spouses are entitled to. And if she has misplaced her ID card or it has expired, he has to provide her with the paperwork she needs to get a new one. If he doesn't, she can get him into serious trouble. I've seen that happen so many times with people from different branches of the service. And I hope you realize that the only way the Military is going to pay for the birth of your baby is after he or she is born and your boyfriends signs the birth certificateate. That's also the only way the baby will receive medical and everything else. You can't have the baby in a Military hospital since your not his legal dependent, but after he signs the birth certific, you will be allowed to take the baby to Military facilities for medical and all.
I think I would reconsider if this guy is for you. He lied to you about his marriage, and there is noway he thought it was annulled, he knew he was still legally married. He would have had to receive papers to prove to the Military that his marriage had been annulled so he could stop his wife's benefits. I would just be scared that he lied to you about this, who knows what else he has lied about.
2006-08-13 09:04:43 · answer #4 · answered by Naples_6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most often, the military acts like it has a hard line against adultery, but they really prefer not to find out about it, so they don't have to take any action.
There is SOOOO much screwing around in military marriages, I think the government would have to spend all of it's time punishing cheaters and would have not time or money left for anythng else!
The only way I could see your boyfriend getting in any trouble is if his wife called and reported him to a superior. Even then, he would only get a slap on the wrist.
This is just based on my own experience (had two good friends whose military hubbys were cheating on them with female soldiers in Iraq).
I'm sorry you got tricked like that, and I hope everything works out OK.
2006-08-13 00:02:16 · answer #5 · answered by MissM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should do some homework and find out what the real story is, obviously he hasn't told the whole truth. Annullments are not the usual course these days, too much paperwork which costs $ and you have to be very specific about why. They are also for religious reasons, not for state/federal reasons.
I suggest before you become pregnant for the second time, you figure this out and get married if he is cleared.
2006-08-13 00:03:18 · answer #6 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be pretty bad, but not necessarily. Does he have paperwork to prove that his marriage should have been annulled? Or did he just lie to you? Is he even seperated from her? If he acted in good faith its not really that much of a problem. As for the getting in trouble otherwise. Somebody really has to push it. You or his ex to be, mainly. Is his ex, the type to do that? If not then odds are he's going to be just fine. But if she wants to be a major pain then he can get into a little trouble. If he was never even seperated from her and lied to the both of you, then OH Yeah, his hiney could be in a serious sling.
2006-08-13 00:02:33 · answer #7 · answered by Chrissy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The military is very serious about any activity that reflects poorly on the military. If he fathered your child, he is responsible for your child. I have some questions about HIS judgment. Why is HE making babies with women he is not married to. Why did he not know he was still married.
Contact his commander. Write a letter addressed
"To the Commander of"
your boyfriend's name
unit address
APO/FPO or stateside station.
Explain your situation and thing will begin to happen.
2006-08-16 22:06:42 · answer #8 · answered by JAMES11A 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He can be given a dishonorable discharge and charged with adultry..That's a fact of the UCMJ..Uniformed Code of Military Justice..that is if he is still married to the other woman...This happened to me...I know for a fact because the man I was in love with was married and I was married to another soldier..My old man beat the crap out of me and his wife was a nitemare..we fell in love and I had a child that he never knew about...I pray for him every day and wish his son could know him...Boy, sounds like a Lifetime movie....lol, The military tried to mess up his life but it didn't happen...thank God..Just keep your mouth shut and see what happens
2006-08-14 01:00:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if he is still getting paid as being "married". That might be a reason why he didn't get a divorce. Or he is getting paid as single and just don't have the $ to do it? There are a lot of if's and but's. Just talk to him.
If you don't alert the Military , they won't know. Not like they care anyway. Nothing happend to my ex.
2006-08-13 00:47:30 · answer #10 · answered by fem40_98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋