A month ago, I met a really special guy. I thought I was taking things slowly, but he also seemed a little conflicted or shy. Every time, it has been either very lovely, very tense, or very magical. I thought for a long time he might be shy, or not interested in doing anything other than playing music, but there were mixed signals; I was confused. He has plenty of opportunities to tell me he had a gf, but he just didn't. He wasn't particularly flirtatious, but still, he seemed very fond of me right away, and to do special things for me, be kind and supportive. Then, I asked him to go hiking, and he said he couldn't because he had a friend in town, but he loved playing music with me. Then, he made an excuse to bring me something, and we had coffee. It was very tense, but we learned we had even more in common. I recently found out from a friend he has a gf for one year. My gut tells me he's not being a player, but I'm unsure what may be going through his mind. Any thoughts?
2006-08-12 16:03:52 · 22 answers · asked by calliope 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think maybe he is conflicted. See If he has a girlfriend he may be feeling like he is wrong because he has developed some feelings for you. He sounds like he is a good guy in a hard situation. Maybe it is that he loves his girlfriend but somehow has developed feelings for you and he is feeling confused as to what to do. You see if he has a girlfriend that he really likes and there is no reason for them to split up then he wouldnt want to hurt her so he doesnt know what to do. Talk to him and get everything out in the open and be ready for him to say that he loves his girl and doesnt know what to do. I dont know if this is what you are looking for.
2006-08-12 16:10:27 · answer #1 · answered by Charisma 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he is being a player, but he still appreciates your company.
I would have thought that he should have told you that he has a girlfriend. If that didn't come up in conversation, perhaps he thought you would think it was assuming for him to become defensive and say that he had a girlfriend.
If you asked if he had a gf and he said no, then he is lying. That doesn't bode well for having good intentions.
Perhaps he is having difficulties with his girlfriend, or is confused about what relationship he wants to have with you. Guys can get just as much confused about relationships as girls can.
Bottom line - I don't think you should be pursuing him as bf material while he has the gf. If you want to be friends with him, fine, but don't expect anything romantic to happen unless he ditches his current gf. If he does, and he is genuinely interested in you, then he will make some moves towards you then.
It is also possible that you are mistaking friendship for something more. Some guys can genuinely be nice for no other reason apart from friendship.
2006-08-12 16:13:12 · answer #2 · answered by ◄ Mal ► 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be a number of reasons why he is doing what he's doing. It's hard to tell...but from what I've read it could be that he didn't tell you about his girlfriend because he is not happy in his relationship. It could be that he is confused himself on who he really wants. Then again he might want to have his cake and eat it too. If you're getting mixed signals and your not sure of how he really feels...talk to him. You can start off by saying something like...We've been having a good time together and I'm not really sure what kind of signals your sending me...Can you let me know what's going on? By starting off that way your not letting him know how you feel and your not putting yourself in an awkward situation. If he is interested...great! You can then ask him about his girlfriend. If he isn't, or he gives you some kind of line or vague reason you haven't let the cat out of the bag on how you feel. Unless you already have? Anyways you can put how you want to say things in your own words (if that is the route you decide to take.) Hopefully he'll be straight with you and you'll know where you stand. I hope things work out...Good luck!
2006-08-12 16:49:16 · answer #3 · answered by Lei-Loo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have only known this guy for a month, and you have felt the need to ask a question about him 5 times already, You are going way to fast! Dear Lord, how in the world did you do all of these things or have all these feelings within a month? I'm surprised he is even speaking to you and not running the opposite direction like his hair is on fire! Slow down for God's sake! Get real!
2006-08-12 16:11:39 · answer #4 · answered by tjb 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look if he really liked you he would not play all these silly little games. Just move on you can find someone who really does want to go out with you and share special times together. I am telling you he is a player. Really the signs are not there for any kind of relationship. He likes you as a friend, or maybe his sister. So move on.
2006-08-12 16:09:38 · answer #5 · answered by Rooster 1972 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So, 30 days or so ago you met this realllly nice guy. So, you interpreted his behavior as shy...was this because it made you feel better, more hopeful to think that he was shy rather than just not that interested???? Mixed signals are sooooofunny aren't they ??? Come on if the light is red we stop if it's green we go . yellow slow down prepare to stop but those darned MIXED signals!!!yellow, red, blue, purple.... who wouldn't be confused? Wasn't it better to see mixed signals than the truth that there was this new aquintance who you found attractive who just wasn't moving as fast as you wanted him to??? As in Gosh I wish he'd ask me out, cuz he's sooooo fine I want him to be mine!!! So, he was reallally fond of you right away!!! How do we spell wishful thinking??? When he turned you down for the hike and stipulated that he liked playing music with you he was telling you...lets get together and play music but right now that's all I.m feelin" So, you had coffee, and another chance to start drifting off to fantasy land where in your thought process he's just to shy to let me know what he realllly feels about me,,something strange does happen when people spend more time together sometimes they find they have more in common!!Are you selecting the wedding invitations yet??? FACT, YOU FOUND OUT HE HAS A GIRLFREIND for a year. SOMEONE ELSE, whose known him for more than about a month that actually has the title of girlfriend!! Let me spell it out for you...he has a girlfreind! Why don't you practice saying REALITY out load first to yourself then the next time you see him. Tell him you like him and enjoy his company but you respect his girlfriend and want to know in his words,( not the ones you've dreampt up in your mind) how he feels about your friendship.... god luck A funny thing happens when you stop living in fantasy land. Reality bites!
2006-08-12 16:23:15 · answer #6 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It seems like this guy is just looking for a friend. If he has a girlfriend, you should just let him go. He's probably being very kind, supportive, and fond because he thinks of you as a friend and you should really do the same!
2006-08-12 16:08:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, he only has a gf, it's not like he is married. I was dumped by a guy that found another gf....oh well....that's life. Just go with the flow but at the same time make sure he's genuine.
good luck!
2006-08-12 16:08:14 · answer #8 · answered by my2cents 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you going to keep asking this until you get the answer you want. O.k. I'll step up and do the dirty work...Girl, he was so into you. He is trapped in a relationship with a girl he doesn't like and never has. He wants you bad but he is really, really sensitive and wants to make sure you will swoon, marry him and have his babies before he exposes his fragile heart. He spends everyday thinking about you and wishing you were together. You are perfect for each other he is a wimp and you are dumb as a stump. Please give me his number I want to make it my personal mission to get you two together. You may never have heard of this but men like to sorta scope out other girls to see if they are "worth leaving the current one for" if you were worthy of his love he'd have let you know. Apparently you were not.
2006-08-12 16:15:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
adult men are consistently finished of excuses. excuses are like assholes each and every physique has one. being married or no longer if ur in a courting it somewhat is not at all okay to hit on somebody else. ok this is a few what of a intense answer now i circulate to bathe my arms and strategies with cleansing soap
2016-09-29 05:15:02 · answer #10 · answered by hobin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋