potty training?

Question

my son is going to be 4 in a month and he still isn't potty trained. he pees in the toilet almost every time, but he refuses to poop in it. i found he liked to have those little popsicles in the plastic sleeve after he peed for his reward, but i don't what he wants for pooping. i don't want to reward him with food or he will end up overweight because he will associate happiness with it. i have offered him a quarter every time he goes so he can get things out of the machines at walmart, i've offered him stickers, anything i can think of, even a hot wheel each time. he started pooping in the toilet for about a week or so, and suddenly stopped and poops in his underwear again. i let him pick out his own underwear at the store so he'd feel involved and want to wear them, but it isn't working. what do i do??? he needs to get potty trained or he can't go to preschool....

he said he wants to go to preschool, i told him how cool it will be and he will have friends etc. when he poops in his underwear if it isn't all stuck i do make him take a baby wipe and get it out and drop it in the toilet and say bye bye poop see you next time, then i tell him next time let's try and make it on the tolet instead of your underwear and he says ok i will try mommy, but doesn't. i know he knows when he has to go, i just don't understand why he won't use the bathroom. he tells all the family he poops in the toilet but it's been like 2 weeks since he did it.

lol, he follows me into the bathroom no matter what i am doing, so he knows i go too. i tell him mommy went potty so she gets to watch her favorite movie now, or mommy gets to pick what's for dinner, whatever we happen to be getting ready to do.

Answer 1

if he is 4 years old, he knows that he is pooping his pants . he knows that there is a tiolet where the poopies go. hes just not wanting to do it. do you clean his pants after he does this? if yes..then stop. i know it may sound gross...but thats a way that a child will learn to go where he needs to go. when he goes poo in his pants, you should make him clean it up. when this happen's, let him know where the toilet paper is, or papertowl...whichever he wont make more of a mess with, and let him know that if he continues to do this, he is going to have to take the poo out of his underwear and flush it down the toilet. as kids get older, they know they are supposed to go to the bathroom on the toilet...if they have an accident...they feel uncomfortable because they have soiled themselves. its kinda like a reverse psychology thing. if he poos in his pants and nobody is cleaning it up for him right away....he may not feel comfortable with soiled underwear....the more he poo's the more uncomfortable he will get and the more he will want to use the toilet so he doesnt have to clean it up everytime...kinda like a lesson learned for himself....try it and see what happens...have you talked with his doc about it? do some research...this tip may help if u understand what i am saying ...and dont give up

Answer 2

At four years old he knows what he's doing. I would probably make him change himself. (you can help clean up but make him do the bulk of the cleaning) Maybe he won't like the feeling and try and put it in the potty.

Be very constant. Don't switch between pull-ups and underwear. Set a timer and take him to the potty every time it goes off. My son thought that was fun!

We use to have a reward jar in the bathroom. Every time he went I would let him get a reward. I filled it with things like suckers, hot wheels, stickers etc...

This sounds crazy but I use to work at a preschool and have potty trained at least 100 kids. Sometimes if you draw a target on a piece of paper and throw it in the potty, little kids love to try and got potty on them. LOL Cheerios do the same thing.

Good luck!!!

Answer 3

He is getting a whole lot of attention over this. Diaper changing was bonding time between you for so long, and now you are placing such and emphasis on it that he sees a way to keep your attention and bond.
Stop cleaning him up. When he has an accident, put him in the tub with baby wipes and leave him there. Keep close of course, but don't help him, don't talk to him, until he is clean and dressed (by himself).
Try having a "play date" with just the two of you. Take the emphasis of attention off potty training. Make it so that you do other fun things, talk about something other than bathrooming.
This (making him clean himself and ignoring inappropriate bathrooming) worked at the day care center where I used to work, it also worked for me. I pooped my pants twice, once my mother cleaned up the second she made me clean up and I never did it again. I was 3 at the time and don't remember, but have been told, often, let me tell you.

Answer 4

When he messes his pants he needs to be shown what to do to clean up after himself. If you keep cleaning up his messes, he will learn nothing about cause and effect. Keep some disposable gloves in the house and, after he has an accident, show him that it is his job to clean the mess, put the poop in the toilet and clean himself. I think he will catch on pretty quick that it will be easier and more pleasant to just poop in the toilet.

PS: If you tell him he can't go to preschool without learning to poop in the toilet you will be defeating the whole thing. He doesn't know anything about preschool, may not want to leave you to go somewhere strange, and this is his way of taking control of his own destiny. He probably thinks if he keeps messing his pants he won't have to leave you to go to preschool.

Answer 5

Boys are slower than girls at potty training. My son was nearly 4 also when he finally started going to the potty. I personally believe that it doesn't matter what the rewards are, a child is going to start going in the potty on their own timetable. Now, this timetable can be significanly impacted by peer pressure - thats right - positive peer pressure at age 4! If your son goes to day care, church classes, or any type activity where he interacts with other boys around his age, their potty training will encourage him to "get on board". Another thing to try is to take your child to the potty immediately after every meal and ask him to just "sit on the potty" for about 5 minutes. Mother Nature gives all of us a natural instinct to "go potty" every time we eat. If you can get him to sit on the potty for about 5 minutes after each meal, you might be surprised at the results! One other thing you might try is to give your son a small part of the responsibilities of cleanup when he does go in his pants. Of course, he can't run the washing machine or anything like that - but he can go to the bathroom, clean himself up, and put on some new undies and shorts/pants that are already laid out for him. (Of course this leaves the actual cleanup of the dirty undies and pants to you). I also think it is extremely important NOT to use shame or embarrasment in any way - use encouragement and positive reinforcement instead. Believe me - this too shall pass!

Answer 6

I would try to not make a big deal out of it. Maybe when he is able to start to preschool, he will take a hint from the other kids and get the idea. That is usually how it happens.

Answer 7

I would say..

First, you really shouldn't use preschool as a "quilt" trip.
Second, books! When I started Elimination Communication with my son, I would always sit next to him with a book and read. I told him that he had to "try" until the end of the book!
Third..do you let him in the bathroom with you when you have a BM?? Kids need to know that it is "okay" to poop! As odd as that sounds, it's true! So, you need to let him know that it is okay !! Get some books out of the library, one that comes to mind is "everyone poops". (also available at local book stores)

Good luck..and for added ideas.
diaperfreebaby.org

Answer 8

As strange as this sounds many children connect poop as part of their body and hate parting with it. Maybe making a game of it and when he does go say "Bye Bye Poop, have a nice water slide" then let him flush. Sounds weird but hey...don't knock it til you try it. Good luck:)

Answer 9

have you offered him a book and some privacy? he needs to relax and it is hard to do that with company rewards arent the answer