Husband in dep, left me, I'm pregnant, still need to file for divorce....?

Question

My husband is in the delayed entry program. He married me one month ago and then left me 4 days ago for his ex-girlfriend from high school. I found out two days later (yesterday) that I am pregnant. He has not been to boot camp yet. What, if anything, will the military do? Will they make him give me money after he goes to boot camp? Is it different because he hasn't been yet? He did already go to meps. He got a 95 on his AFQT or whatever (asvab score), but now he is saying he hurt his back. He is married to me, but he lives with his girlfriend, who doesn't want him to join. Doesn't he have to now? He told his recruiter he hurt his back, and they said military surgeons would fix it, he just has to sign waivers. I just want to make sure I get help, financially, for the baby. I'm scared that he doesn't want to go now, and I don't want him to get in trouble for adultery or malingering, because I really will need help from him. Do I talk to his recruiter?

We were married on our five year anniversary, btw, we didn't marry for the military.
He just said he loves me, but fell out of being "in-love" with me, and when he saw her again, he got swept up in his emotions and "emotionally cheated" by telling her he loved her. Then he left, and lives with her. We are both 25 btw.

To the person who asked if he was the father: He is the only person I have been emotionally, physically, or sexually involved with in the last 6 1/2 years. He is the father.

Divorce papers are being filed Monday. If I don't, then he will. I know it is better for custody if you are the one to file, so I am going first thing Monday morning.

Answer 1

The military is VERY GOOD at making sure child support orders are made to dependent children, even the unborn ones.

Your husband is trying to get out of THREE very important commitments. The one he made when he married you, the one to his unborn child and the one he made to his country.

Talk to the recruiter and perhaps an attorney familiar with military justice.

Don't let him get out of his commitment to the military and his country. Sounds like he's a flake and needs some structure and discipline in his life. And YOU need financial support for you and you baby.

If I remember correctly that score is pretty high, so even though your husband is a flake, he's an intelligent flake. The military will give him a physical before he goes to basic, and if he passes, he's in for three to five years.

Good Luck

Answer 2

as of this minute, the military will not get involved, as he is NOT on Active duty status.

If the divorce is final before he ships out, and you share custody, he would be released from his obligation, because in the eyes of the military, he would be a single parent and therefore ineligible to enlist. If you have sole legal and physical custody, he could still ship.

Only what is explicitly listed in the divorce decree will be what the military makes him pay. for instance, you could specify that he is required to maintain medical coverage for the baby. It won't help you, even while pregnant, BUT the baby would be covered as soon as it is born. Child support would be at the dioscretion of the judge granting it, the military doesn't dictate how much that is. They can only enforce a pre existing order.

Now, just for kicks, say he ships out while still legally married. he would be obligated to pay you the BAH he is entitled to for having dependants. that's IT. Nothing else, and that ends the day the divorce is final. If you want child support, you need to get a court order. The military does not get involved until there is a court order.

Answer 3

Wow. You are much better off without this man in your life. He is seriously lacking in intergrity and would be an awful role model for your child.

The military takes adultery very seriuosly. However, since he has yet to go to boot camp I'm not sure what kind of action they would take. In many cases it does result in an article 15 which leads to loss of rank and forfeiture of pay. But he is already at the lowest rung so I'm not sure what they will do.

Has he actually sworn in? If he hasn't actually sworn in then he can still get out of it. It doesn't matter what the military says.

I think you need to consult a lawyer. I'm not totally sure how you should proceed. But I'm not sure that talking to his recruiter is a wise move. They will encourage him to not see this other girl until he is divorced and then they will push him to get the divorce. I'm not sure how this will affect child support. Seriously, you need a lawyer.

Answer 4

Listen lady, my opinion..... He is a dirtbag. He is sherking his patriotic priority for some old foot dragger he once knew. You gotta look at it as your gonna be a single mom. Buck up, you can do it. Go to a recruiter same branch but NOT his, not even the same office. Get pretty when you go. If you have other children take them too. Then just like you sat down and explained all that to me, do the same for them. THEY can point you in the right direction, your next step would be to get in to see someone in the Legal Aid Society, don't rush into divorcing him. Get proof if you can that his back isn't hurt. You want to be able to show that he cut you out of a certain lifestyle as he got with this girl and decided not to go in the service. If you can't have him with you at least you can have his paycheck, and the military will still make him serve out his first tour. LOL Keep your head up everything will get better.

Answer 5

It is doubtful you will get any money but your baby will get money, "child support". If he is in the military, they will take it out of his pay each month and send it, They enforce child support very well.

So you hire an attorney, file for a divorce, and then file for custody of your future child when the child is born. Also file for money to pay for the baby, medical care now and more.
And for child support once the child is born, also of course you want to file for custody of the child.

As long as you are married to him, the military will be paying him at the higher married benifits and housing allowance,

And no the military don't care that he is sleeping around, since he is not really in yet.

It sound like he is trying to find a medical reason not to go into the military,

Answer 6

ok, so you were with him for 5 yrs, then you got married one month ago and already the marriage is on teh rocks. Why did you guys get married in the first place if supposedly he fell out of love. it doesn't happen in a month!
Anyway either way you can still take him to court for him to pay child support! So you decide whatever you want to do. good luck

Answer 7

I know this may sound kind of dumb but let him get through basics and ait first. It's easier for him to get out of the service before they put a lot of money into him. Once he has done all the training he is pretty well stuck. Than you get him for all he is worth. Yes the military will make him pay you for child support!

Answer 8

He is the father of the baby. Whether he joins the military or not, that will not change. He is still responsible. He is still your husband too, so perhaps seeing a lawyer would be the prudent thing to do. Don't you worry about him. You have yourself and a baby to worry about. Let him be the one losing sleep.

Answer 9

the military will help and if he gets deployed he will be making some good money he made good on his asvab i made a 85 on mine he will haft to pay child support cause he will be overseas in had to when i found out but that was a fake child support if u haft talk to his recruiter i was in the military for a good while and believe me they believe in child support and yes divorce him

Answer 10

So many women make it on their own these days. You do not a ****** like that in your life or your baby's life. Advice-get a good job and stick around the people who DO love you. You will be better off. Rake in the child support.