my father in law just died and we have his cat and she won't let us near her what should we do?

Question

my father in lae just passed away and he had a cat and she is very um..mean? she growls and hisses and tries to scratch you. we can't get near her to feed her, it took us an hour to get her in the pet carrier, we don't want to put her to sleep, please help

Answer 1

We just had this problem. We had a cat that did exactly that and the same circumstances. It will not get better. It only gets worse. The cat will sense any fear you have and will continue to get worse. This is especially true if the cat is over 3 years old. Cats are NOT like people. The old phrase "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." applies here. At 3 years old, the cat has built loyalties and will not change. Don't let anyone tell you different. We tried to give the cat to the Humane Society. He lept out of the carrier and clawed out the ladies eye. No joke. That could have been us. Lady, I am not joking... put it to sleep or get rid of it. You may think you are helping that cat, but you are just torturing it.

Answer 2

First let me say, I feel for your loss, and I hope you and your family are doing well. As for the cat.....

Depends on how the cat was BEFORE this.

If the cat wasn't mean before then I would just give it time, you seriously don't need to be near it to feed it do you? I mean you set the food down and walk away. Wouldn't you be a little stressed too if the home life you had become accustomed too way suddenly ripped from you and all of a sudden some one throws you in a cage and takes you somewhere new? I mean really do you honestly expect the cat to be happy?

Now....if the cat has always been this way..its obviously not going to improve. That STILL doesn't mean you need to put it to sleep. It means that you either learn to accept the behavior or you find someone that can. She could still calm down, in fact she might even become mellow in a new setting...but you cannot force a cat...to do anything.

Answer 3

You are fine people to take over her care and give her a home. You must put her in a small room with her food, water, and a litterbox. She may not want to eat right away and she must eat within 36 hours so you have to monitor that. Were you able to bring the food she is accustomed to from your father-in-laws house? At least the same brand must be used.

She needs to have a lot of peace and quiet for a few days to begin her adjustment. You will go into her space to monitor the food dishes and box. Talk very softly to her, even getting down on the floor to be at her level. Do not try to touch her. She doesn't need that now.

You can get the Bach flower essence Rescue Remedy at a health foods store. A little bottle costs about $18. You shake it very well and put a few drops on her fur. Do this as often as you can. You can put it in her water and cats don't drink a lot of water so if you can get it on her fur it going to have the best effect.
Don't chase her or anything just try to do it very subtly. It doesn't work well in food for cats as it is preserved in alcohol and cats don't like the taste.

She is suffering from loss and trauma right now and needs a calm, patient human presence in her life.

After she adjusts a little bit you can move to the Bach essence Walnut which is the choice for making adjustments in life situations. The essences are used by people for emotional healing and they can have a great effect on cats and other animals.

Answer 4

your father in law's cat was bonded to him and is nervous and scared. if you took the cat out of his home and to your home, that is why the cat is acting the way you said. try this.........keep the home as quiet as possible, when talking talk in easy smooth tones, this relaxes the cat, and let the cat roam though the house on his own, do not try to approach the cat, put the cat food at a regular place so cat will see it and let it be..if you see the cat looking at you, talk kindly, [like i see you sweetie or hi baby, gently and dont try to pick it up or reach for him.. let the cat come to you, if he raises his head put your hand in a low position so cat can come to you.....reach out hand to let the cat smell you[ hold hand steady and no sudden moves, or it will scare him away again. then he might rub your leg and that is his way to tell you he wants a little petting [try by the ears or back, i am sure in a few days he will accept you and then you can enjoy loving this cat. patience and kindness is a must, cats are very smart and read people very much ...

Answer 5

cats are very intutive. they seem to know when storms are comming and many other things that happen. perhaps she has sensed his departure and is going thru alot.if you keep her leave her alone for awhile and give her plenty of time to adjust to new things and different care.Do u know any of her routine at all since it is your father-in-law. what time of day did he feed her? Did she have her quiet afternoon naps? cats sleep alot during the day and get more active towards evening. try and remember some of her habits that she had. adult cats take some time to get used to another person. dont lunge and grab at her. that only makes her more defensive. feed her and water her for a few days and give her some special treats. when she sees you are taking care of her and not hurting her. she will make her way to you. one day at a time. do not hit the cat . be very patient. this will take time and love and keep her in for some time because she will try to go back home. they have very good memories. She will come around in time.I have 4 cats one is a ferril cat so I know all about the hissing and biting ect they just have to gain your trust

Answer 6

The cat is in mourning; she misses her owner and doesn't understand. Please continue to feed her and put water down and when she is hungry she will eat. She may never let you get close enough to pet her but it was nice that you could "adopt" her and it won't be too hard to co-exist with her until she gets used a new home and new people. Talk softly to her and maybe, if you have one of your father-in-laws shirts or sweaters you could put it somewhere near where she sleeps.

Answer 7

leave her alone put her food wherever she is hiding and her cat litter too until she feels a little more comfortable around the house. then move it to the location u know u want to keep it. she may hide again but will come out when really hungry, don't worry. do not out it to sleep find a home if u can't deal with it until she calms down, she doesnt know where ur father in law went so shes scared

Answer 8

Please try to be patient. You have to remember she lost someone too. Don't force her. When you feed her there's no need to approach her. Just leave her bowl where she'll find it. Talk softly and loving to her. Give her time to get used to you. She may never be the cat you're hoping for though. After time if it's just not working out, take her to a shelter where she can be adopted instead of being put down.

Answer 9

The cat will have to readjust and he may be mourning. Pets do mourn. Give the cat time. Put food out and the cat will eat when he is hungry. Trust me, he won't starve himself. Put him in a room with food, water and litter until he adjusts to the new smells and sounds. Time heals and so will the kitty. Be thankful that you have something that was important to your late father-in-law. It is a gift.

Answer 10

Give her time. She needs to grieve, too - her "daddy" is gone. Just talk sweetly to her, and give her food and water and let her come to them when she's ready (you probably have to leave the room for a while).

Find out what kind of food she's used to, if she likes certain toys, etc. Can you get a blanket or pillow from your father-in-law's house? A faint smell of him might help calm her down.

Talk to a vet for more ideas. Don't give up on her - she feels abandoned already. Thank you for taking her on. Good luck!