If you caught your man/woman cheating would you be willing to give them a second chance? Could you forgive and

Question

forget? Or would it be always opn your mind that it might happen again? Could you trust what they said(that it was over and won't happen again)...

meant "be on your mind"..excuse the miss spelt word. :)

what if they pulled that crying bit , that if you loved them, you'd be willing to forgive, or as a male friend of mine said"It's in a mans nature not to be faithfull"...what a crock that is!!!

Answer 1

Why forgive and forget just to relive and regret?

From my experience of forgiving a cheater and giving second chances....you just give them a second chance to cheat.

And it was on my mind constantly. I thought about it every single day. I thought about some lie he told or if he was still cheating. It doesn't go away.

Answer 2

Looking at how I contributed to a bad situation by taking away any defense of mine will make it more objective. I will see what I did to push him into cheating. Being honest in a relationship is an absolute must, but it cannot be achieved if I cannot look at what I do wrong with honesty. Once I have done that I am able to see how my partner perceived my actions and I am able to honestly discuss it with my partner--and guess what? Getting to that point am I able to forgive---and so will he forgive me my mistakes if he can honestly do the same thing, because then we can work out a different approach, make the relationship work, and yes, we created a situation that will establish new trust and forgive the wrong. Give it a try, this approach, if really used and worked upon, will work....Good Luck

Answer 3

Every situation is different. Each person has to make the decision they can live with.
However if you are able to forgive (which is what you will have to do for yourself whether you continue the relationship or not) you must not forget. Not forgetting does not mean to bring it up every time you are mad at him/her. Not forgetting keeps you in contact with the situation - did you stop giving them attention or what caused this in your relationship.

In a short term relationship there will be NO second chances.

In a long-term relationship (married 30-40 years) I will have to evaluate the financial loss of divorce versus the possibility that I will live longer. Since trust has been broken - no sex anymore.

Answer 4

With love, forgiveness comes. If you truly love someone and feel that the person loves you too but just made a mistake, I think anything can be forgiven. I know from experience. When I suspected that my husband was cheating on me, I ended the marriage. I know now that it wasn't true, but it was a wonderful excuse for me to get out of a loveless marriage. Now, I have been dating a guy I truly love for 4 years. Neither of us want to marry until our children are grown and out of the house, but he is very good to me. Now for the zinger... he told me a few months ago that he had sex with a woman he met at a party. She came on to him, he had been drinking and it happened. He told me, I guess, because he wanted forgiveness, because I had no idea. At first, I was shocked, then very angry, then just sad until I realized that nothing had really changed between us. What he did was a purely physical thing and I slowly forgave and can say that I also very rarely think about it. I think, though, that I am the exception to the rule.

Answer 5

Look i am in that place right now. I would not give him another chance, the reason is because if he has done this before in the passed why would he change that. Unless he tells you the truth up front with out you saying anything to him that must mean he really loves you and he is sorry for what he has been doing. Dont let him keep on hurting you like that trust me your better than that.

Answer 6

Walk away... no run. Cheating rocks the very foundation of any relationship. It's not impossible to come back from, but damn near. Trust is the very bottom block of the foundation of a relationship. when violated, you're left wondering what parts of an individual you can actually trust are real. It's just the collapse of everything built in a relationship. If the foundation crumbles, so does everything above it..

Answer 7

If you let them get away with it once, that is like saying it is O.K., and they will be prone to do it again. However, if it was ONLY one encounter, and they not only repented from it, and confessed to me on their own--rather than getting caught, and having to wonder what ELSE they have done--I might just give them this ONE chance.
But what I would NOT do is go after & atttack the third party: there will always be a willing partner for someone to cheat with; my beef will always be with the one who had an exclusive commitment to ME. However, if it was a good friend of mine that had sex with my partner, that relationship would have to end, as I need trust & respect from my male friends too.

Answer 8

You can move on, or give it a chance. But it will take time to build that trust again. I had an experienced like this. I broke it off. I tried to work something out, but she wouldn't. I finally realized that it was going to take time for her to win my trust again. It was going to be complicated. In my opinion, I wouldn't give a second chance. Trust is a a major ingredient in a relationship and something I value so much. I wish you the best. Good Luck!

Answer 9

It depends on the gravity of the situation. If he is just playing around and nothing really serious, then MAYBE I will give him a second chance.

But if I caught him on top of another woman, well they better know the way going to hell as I'm not gonna stop until they get there.

Answer 10

No second chance. Once a cheater is always a cheater. The second time around it will be harder to catch them in the act because they are on guard. You lose respect and trust for them. When there is no trust, there is no relationship. You will always have it in the back of your head. It is not worth the stress. Move on, there are plenty of fish in the sea.