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I had a good friends-w/ benifits-thing going with my best guy friend and he's been gone to basic training all summer. Now I'm really missing him, and I don't know at what level either. I know I love him as a person, friend, and lover, but I'm not sure if I really am in love with him or it's just from him not being around. And the most stupid things is I haven't been able to talk to him and he's going off to college anyway, so bother to have more, wait it out or not bother at all?

2006-08-12 14:21:40 · 12 answers · asked by slyshewolf 4 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

12 answers

ive never been involved in a physical thing with a girl unless i could really see her as a girlfriend, but i understand whats involved in your situation ;) i actually broke things off with my girl after i left for basic. she was goin off to college and i was gonna be enlisted so i didnt want us bein tied down. you should definitely talk to this guy tho before you decide anything definite. you dont wanna end it before its really begun ya know? maybe he feels the same way and hes in the same spot you are, wondering if he should call or write you. i know for me, basic was a time to reflect on everything that had happened up until that point and i know that the isolation from home is gonna make him think back on you and he might be missing you even now. you guys had a physical thing so on some level, you do care about one another. and every relationship starts with a spark...you really owe it to each other to decide what your gonna do, together... best of luck

2006-08-12 14:52:44 · answer #1 · answered by af4sguy 3 · 0 0

You would know if you were "in Love" with him. Sounds like you're just missing him since you've spent so much time together. Plus it may be that he was convenient as a lover since you were friends. Try surrounding yourself with other friends and getting involved with activities to take your mind off of him. If you both choose to stay in touch that's cool. But remember that both of your schedules sound pretty full right now so don't be too surprised if communication is limited. Good luck.

2006-08-12 21:29:31 · answer #2 · answered by ShellRe' 3 · 0 0

The best way to deal with this issue is to confront it. Friends with Benefits.....LMAO! I've been there and done that and it did not turn out good. Feelings are always developed by one of the parties involved and then, the party is over. If the feelings that you have for each other is mutual. Sweet! Go for it. However, if your just itching a scratch, let him know and observe quietly. By the by, as a soldier myself, he will be a different guy than you knew before. Best 'O Luck to ya!

2006-08-12 21:29:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Friends with benefits is dangerous territory...on many occassions it leaves us feeling a bit hurt and lost. My suggestion would be to move on as hard as it may be. If the two of you are close then when he returns or as time passes you will in fact re connect. This may sound strange but many men come back from basic training very, very different...and in different places than they were before....be ready for that too. Best of luck to you!

2006-08-12 21:28:07 · answer #4 · answered by my1215boo 3 · 0 0

If you were really in love with him you wouldn't be asking this question. You wouldn't be able to BREATHE without him and would be doing and saying the dumbest things because of the pain of separation and your desperation to have him back in your arms. I believe you love him but it doesn't sound like there is any true passion to it

2006-08-12 23:01:42 · answer #5 · answered by trixie 2 · 0 0

Keep your options open, since he closed his off to by leading his life.

2006-08-12 21:26:04 · answer #6 · answered by ricosuarve 3 · 0 0

distance makes the heart grow fonder - live your life and hopefully there is room for him later if your paths cross again

2006-08-12 21:28:23 · answer #7 · answered by Big Buddy 6 · 0 0

well, find a way to get in touch and let him know how you feel. you nvr know, he may be missing you as well and who knows what else. you dont know till you ask.

2006-08-12 21:28:03 · answer #8 · answered by quikone2 3 · 0 0

Ask him? And while he is answering you, ask yourself this Is he mature and adult enough to be taken seriously?

2006-08-12 21:30:40 · answer #9 · answered by t_bone3003 2 · 0 0

u really need to change that photo of that girl

2006-08-12 21:32:02 · answer #10 · answered by b.! 2 · 0 1

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