Who can I tell?

Question

Just yesterday i started remebering that my mom's exboyfriend had molested me a long time ago. And i dont know to tell or what to do and it hurts. I am only 13. My mother is a christain and she is married to another man with 2 kids (I love them to death) but i dont who to tell. It hurts really bad. I tried my mom about 2months after it happened but she just blamed it on me and continued dating for a year and a half then they broke up. My biological dad is dead(died when i was 1). I am christain girl but it hurts really bad.

Why am I rememdering this now after 6 or 7 years?

Answer 1

Although I'm know expert, but since you are a Christian and you feel your mother will not listen, talk with your pastor at church. Tell him your problem and ask his advice. Above all do not carry this around with you for the rest of your life. Do not bear this ugly secret alone. It can cause problems in relationships and friendships you may develop in the future. Talk with your pastor or an adult you feel comfortable with and hopefully, they will direct you in the right direction to help you deal with this sensitive situation.

Answer 2

My heart goes out to you. I dealt with a very similar situation when I was about your age.
I tried to tell my mom about the situation and it was blamed on me.
I finally ended up telling a youth pastor who was very supportive. Although Ultimately I think you should ask your mom if you can go into a therapist. If nothing else just to have someone to tell!!!!! They tend to be less biased and well listen and help you with some coping strategies.
While I am supportive of talking to spiritual leaders or priests please realize that they are not trained to deal with every situation that goes on. That is why God gave us different talents. There are many people who are excellent at empathy and many become psychologists.
If you can not get your mother to let you see a therapist, see if you church has one that does not charge, if they dont' most schools have school psychologists. (even if they are only part time).
No matter who you tell, pray. Pray alot.
If you are close to your step father you could always tell him. I know that I have discussed it with the man who became my father figure and it was relieving to me.
May god be with you and touch you in a new way.

Answer 3

SHAME ON YOUR MOTHER!!!!
When I was a child a man grabbed me in a movie theater and did some things to me. When I told my parents they wanted to know why I did not call out for help. They took me to the police station. The cops wanted to know the same thing. They acted like it was all my fault. When I was a teen I was gang raped buy three men. I never told anyone.I had let people make me believe it was my fault. It wasn't. I was an innocent victim. YOU ARE AN INNOCENT VICTIM. Don't ever let any one tell you different. Call a rape hot line. The people who work there know that it was not your fault. Only the ignorant blame the victim. This may be hard to read but you say your mother is a Christian. I say she is a hypocrite

Answer 4

Maybe start with a counselor at school and see if they can point you in the right direction. If you don't want to take legal action just talking to a good friend or maybe even a pastor or deaccon at church will help you work thruogh your feelings. Also look in the front of the phone book for the abuse hotline where you can talk to trained counselors without identifying yourself. They maybe able to give you some other options. I'm so sorry this happened to you! Get some help to get through it and good luck honey!

Answer 5

No offense, but your mom has issues if she blamed you for being molested. Tell the school counselor or a teacher...s/he will know who to contact to make sure that man pays for what he did to you. Your mother appears to be in denial so although you could try telling her again first, it probably won't do any good. If you feel more comfortable talking to someone at your church like a minister or youth group leader, they will be able to help too and might be better candidates for taking to your mother about it.

Answer 6

You are remembering this because you have not had closure on It. You need to discuss this with your mother properly. Perhaps now that she is married to this other man she will listen to you.
You need to get this off your chest. It is weighing you down and thats why it hurts.
You feel betrayed not only by this person, but by your mother for not listening. But you need to try to tell her again.
You may also feel you are to blame for what happened. Let me tell you you are not. Not in any way shape or form. Do not let anyone tell you you are.
You really need to talk to someone. If not your mother then a grandmother or someone. It would be better if it was your mother though.
In the meantime I will pray for your situation. That your mother will listen and help you.
God bless you.

Answer 7

If your mom won't listen, and you need help bringing someone else to help you talk to her, find a family member (preferably female) that you trust and talk to them. If you don't have any family you feel you can talk to, go to a counselor at your school and ask them for some time to talk. That's what they're there for- to help you work out problems in your life. This is a serious one. You do need to talk about it. I'm praying that you find the advise on here (whether from me or someone else) that helps you work all of this out, and helps you begin the healing process.

Answer 8

Let me first start off by saying, it is not and was never your fault. Second you can tell a guidance counselor, or student nurse. If you know the numbers to any local Abuse or Rape Hotlines they can provide a lot of help. I am sorry that your mother turned you away but there are other people who will help.

God Bless

Answer 9

First try your mother again. Maybe this time she'll be more willing to listen, but if she doesn't, tell someone else. Your pastor, a guidance counselor, or a rape crisis center would all be good starts, but be sure you find someone who can help you. You do not need to do this alone, and remember that you are NOT to blame. I will keep you in my prayers.

Answer 10

- you should talk to
a priest
family doctor
school counsellor
because you NEED help in order to put this behind you. Even adults who have a lot more resources at hand have trouble dealing with this sort of thing; you are only 13 and you need the stability and compassion that a person properly trained to provide this type of help can provide.