Whats the best way to deal with a young child that is throwing a completely nasty tantrum, basically being a?

Question

a spoiled brat..Do you spank them, take them outside and deal with them there? Or let them just scream and cont. to cause a scene..My son never acted that bad, and I have had to pull him aside and talk firmly to him, but I have seen some parents go from one extreme to another and it drives me nuts...Especially those parents who let them just scream at the top of their lungs...My friends are having a debate on this ....

Answer 1

They say the best thing to do is to ignore them when they are having fits like this.

They do this to get your attention. You can pull them aside and ask them what is wrong, but if they continue then ignore them.

If you are shopping then get what you can and leave asap.

Spanking is not going to solve anything. Sometimes kids have fits because they can not communicate what they want.

Answer 2

I have had to deal with this type of behavior once with my son. First and foremost, you need to know what your boundaries are. As for myself, I put up with no whining or tantruming with my son. The first time (and only time) he threw a tantrum was when he was 3 years old. I bent down to his eye level, help him by both shoulders, looked him in the eye and told him "I don't understand you. I will not talk to you until I can understand what you are saying, and if you continue to yell, kick, and scream, I can't understand you." I let go, and walked away. He kept it up for about 1/2 an hour, and during that time, I acted as if he wasn't even there. He kept trying to make eye contact with me, and would throw things to try and get my attention. I left him as long as he wasn't putitng himself in imminent danger. After he calmed down, I went over to him and we talked about what he was so angry at. I explained to him that what he just did was inappropriate and I didn't appreciate it. The things that he threw, he had to pick it up and put it away. He never had a tantrum again. He is now 9 years old, and he still remembers that encounter. So, as the years went on, there were times that he would start to whine, and I would give him "the look" and it would stop immediately because he knows he will get nothing if the whining starts.
It's really hard to do, but it's important for the child to know that whining and throwing tantrums are not ways that they will be able to get your attention. If you are consistent and show them every time they display appropriate behavior, they will get a response, then they will learn the proper ways to behave.

Answer 3

Two- and three-year olds are big for this because they want to do what they want or else they get all happy doing something like being at the park and if you suddenly say its time to go home it throws them off and upsets them. Parents have to have some understanding of this, and they have to try to prevent "throwing the child off" by telling him what the plans are, how long he can do something, when you'll be leaving.

If the problem is with being in the store, parents have to tell the child ahead of time, "We're going in to buy groceries. You can have some Goldfish while I shop, but today we're not going to buy candy on the way out." This type of telling them ahead of time helps them know what the plan is and not be surprised by it.

If the child is older and does that in the store, I'd not bring him to a store for a good, long time and tell him, "I need to go to the store, but I'll go when Daddy is home because you have tempers in there; and they don't want that going on in the store." Leave him for a few times, and then some day say he can come but the store people have a rule that people can't scream and lay down on the floor. Its a fire hazard and it upsets the other customers.

Also, when you're home and not going anywhere and just kind of talking or together, reinforce the idea by saying, "You know, I'm worried about the way you scream and have tantrums in the store. I'm worried the people there won't let me bring you in any more." Tell the child - in this calm moment - that you like going out with him and think he probably likes going out, but you can't have him being banned from the store; so ask him what he wants to do - not go to stores (or visiting) or stop doing the tantrums.

Finally, if you're out and the child does a tantrum just leave your groceries and pick up the child, kicking and screaming, and leave the store. (Ask an employee to put your cart in the refrigeration so you can come back for it.) Don't yell, don't cajole, don't hit. Just go outside. If you have a car put the child in the car and wait out the tantrum. Depending on the circumstances, either go back and get your stuff or else just bring the kid home. It won't take long before the child gets the message and knocks it off.

If you remain calm and in control it takes the "air out of the balloon" when it comes to a temper tantrum (in the case of the kid who just does it to get his own way). Bear in mind, though, that some tempers in very young children aren't a matter of their wanting to get your goat or "win" in the situation. Very small children do honestly get upset and thrown off when they're faced with surprises they don't like (thinking they can have candy and being told they can't is one) or being forced to do something they hate (as when they're tired or when they've learned that grocery shopping is a big bore). Try to keep them engaged during the trip, tell them what the plans are, and tell them what they can get out of the trip. Make it pleasant and don't just drag them around like they're your handbag.

Answer 4

the 100% best answer is spanking/wood spoon on the butt.

Just telling them to stop without any physical involvement is just an invitation for them to walk all over you. Sending them to their room (with their ps2 and all that) is even worse.

without the physical threat, it holds about as much credance as a UN resolution. same idea.

THis is even coming from a 19 year old kid here. I think children need to be hit more often. they walk all over their parents far too often now. Kid should be afraid of wooden spoons. it teaches them things like respect, and keeps them from turning into brats, which is the worst epidemic of the last 50 years. I cant stand most people my age because theyre so worthless because they never were hit as kids and taught some respect.

parents shouldnt live at the mercy of their kids. it should be the other way aroud.

Answer 5

My SD is 9...she throws the most God aweful horrible fits...I mean loud screaming at the top of her lungs!! We have tried everything....talking to her, grounding her, spanking her, taking stuff away, sending her to another room, corner time, time out...I mean everything!!! NOTHING WORKS!!!!
We have even been to a therapist with this problem...she was diagnosed with a personality disorder that she has developed because of the way she was allowed to behave and how she was disaplined when she was in her developmental stages...(by her bio-mom)
Now the only thing that we can do (and have been told to do by her dr. and therapist) is to ignore the fits...put her in a room that is safe and let her throw her fit...when she is done she gets punished...usually corner time or something...it's a constant power stuggle!! She has even elevated it so far as to be completely defient to me, talk Sh*T to me, call names, hit, kick and bite me, throw things and hit and kick doors.

Moral of the story...it's all about control and attention. If the child knows that he/she can get what they want when they cause a scene...than they WILL cause a scene!!

Answer 6

When mine used to do this, I would remain calm and tell them that I was going to go off and do something else while they threw their fit- I didn't let them see that it irritated me. You can't give in to them and give them what they want just for the sake of keeping people from staring or judging you. Let people stare and get pissed. So what. This actually works quite well, and only needs to be done a few times- they get the message pretty quick when you walk away and show them that it's not going to work on you. It works much better than a beating, and trying to verbally reason with them during this time is pointless until they calm down and can think rationally.

Answer 7

When they have a tantrum they wont listen to a word you say. Don't get upset, and ignore it. If its in public, you can do what i do and laugh at them point nd laugh, talking to others say BOY dodent he look silly, hes 6 and he looks like a baby. I did that once and he stopped ever since. The problem why kids have tantrums is that parents are embarrassed about the tantrum and they know it. if you show them it doesnt bother you they will give up. It will take a few times before they give up

Answer 8

Don't just let them scream. Especially if it's causing a scene. My 2 year old boy does the same thing. Every time he does it, when I'm at home, I spank him on the leg once, then I get down on his level and make eye contact, tell him to stop crying, to be quiet, and if he doesn't, I walk him to his room and put him in time out until he stops crying.

Answer 9

my daughter does this but only when we are with grandpa. she is the only grandchild, her daddy an only child...see where i am getting at? so when we go to the store she will act so horribly that i literally have tears in my eyes. but he does not realize that she only acts like that with him so i leave her with him. boy does his face look red after. i always get down to her level and speak to her calmly. if she screams, i just remain calm and speak firmly to her. if she hits, i put her in the corner over by the laundry room. if we are at a restaraunt i do not subject other patrons to her tantrums because they are unholy an dit is not fair. they are there to enjoy their evening/lunch/whatever and do not need to hear that. at a store, i leave everything, or i make my husband take her out to the car while i finish up. yes, you can hear her screaming all the way to the front of the store, but she'll calm down and come back in. trial and error usually leads you to the answer. what works for one child might not work for another. all kids are different.

Answer 10

Young children tend to have routines, and know what they will be doing in the near future, so I would take away something they were looking forward to. For example, if you were planning to take your kid to the pool tomorrow, but then they threw a tantrum, you would just say, "You won't be going to the pool tomorrow if you don't calm down, and speak in your indoor voice." If the kid cares about the activity or privilege, they will most likely stop screaming.

Answer 11

The ones who go to extremes are probably ALWAYS inconsistent like that, which is what makes their kids so cranky and ill-behaved to begin with. Firm discipline from the start is the best. Spankings are not necessary, but no-nonsense, nonchalant attitude is a must, followed by a reassuring hug. Sometimes a kid wants attention so bad he misbehaves just to get yelled at.