In 2000, I thought you were coming Jesus. I waited and waited but you never came. I even protected myself from the coming destruction by building a well stocked bunker. Are you coming now, Jesus? I served you soooo well in Alcoholics Anonymous that I should be amongst the "chosen ones". I tried so desperately to use the brain that you gave to change my behaviour and stay the affects of demon booze, but that brain was no good! I am waiting Jesus, take me home! Take me home NOW! Take me to my friends Bob, Bill, and my most missed, CLANCY!
Baaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrfffffffffff!!!
2006-08-12 13:15:20 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
He is coming! He is coming to take you away, ha ha, to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time.
My best answer ever!!!!!!!!!!(in my book, cracked myself up!) My Religious mama used to taunt me with that song when I was very little, do you think he is coming for her too?
2006-08-12 13:20:06 · answer #1 · answered by crct2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jesus said "No man knows the hour or the day". He even said that only His Father would know and would call home the believers before the great tribulation.
If you are still here and having to build well stocked bunkers because things are that bad then you need to consider that you weren't a believe.
And you need to be more faithful to your AA meetings.
2006-08-12 20:20:25 · answer #2 · answered by rltouhe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose you are being funny. My brother is in AA and has done well in the program. And yes they teach you to follow a higher power. My brother is a christian so that is his higher power. If you read anywhere that Jesus was coming in 2000, that was just man's interpretation of the events to come. Jesus said that he would come "like a thief in the night" meaning that we should always be prepared for that glorious day when Christ returns.
2006-08-12 20:23:54 · answer #3 · answered by Only hell mama ever raised 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jesus WILL come, just not when we think. God will send Jesus when we need Him the most. there are still, more waves of evil left to break on the beaces of our lives before the Lord returns. many more will be killed before He returns. we all wish that he will return when we are in trouble. but this low point will pass and you will enjoy things again. you just have to wait out this storm. that is all that you can do. just hold on a little longer. find someone to rely on to get you through this difficult point.
2006-08-12 20:55:11 · answer #4 · answered by adrian w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sure we all return to one another numerous times.
so i have no problem with a return of jesus.
as a matter of fact i think he will clarify some things, like the fact that he never intended to start a new religion.
jesus will return again, at a critical time in human history, to guide the future actions of men. krishna will do the same also. these entities do not need to return to a human incarnation. they do so to provide guidence; and avert disaster.
i wonder what jesus will think of all those gentile followers of his.
2006-08-12 22:42:57 · answer #5 · answered by Stuie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes Jesus is coming,he will come after the Gospel has been preached to the whole world.
2006-08-12 21:35:31 · answer #6 · answered by sisaacs30 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A nun once told me this joke:
The best proof that Jesus was a guy, is the fact that he said he would be back and never came back!
Like most I guess!
2006-08-12 20:34:45 · answer #7 · answered by Karina G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course Jesus is coming. He made that promise to us in the bible.
2006-08-12 20:23:44 · answer #8 · answered by Ariel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the Bible says that Jesus will come at an hour when we least expect it. Please be ready and don't give up. I'm not sure if you're being serious or not, but be ready anway. :)
God Bless
2006-08-12 20:21:35 · answer #9 · answered by iluvblyc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You silly thing. I hope you get the attention you're asking for.
By the way...yes, He is.
2006-08-12 20:20:13 · answer #10 · answered by mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋