My son, has screaming out bursts help?

Question

My son is about to be three, and for and for about the last few months, he's been having screaming, kicking and crying outbursts in stores while we shop, If he see's something he wants and i dont give it to him.... He goes hysterical... I get embarassed because everyone looks at me as if im a bad mother. Do any other mothers or fathers have this issue? How do you handle it? I dont want to have to resort to having him stay home when i go to shop. Someone please help!

Answer 1

it will pass in time just ignore him when he acts like that don't worry about what other people are thinking they all went through it probably with there own kids good luck

Answer 2

The trick is to find the parent who has been lucky enough to not have a child pull a tantrum in a store because the parent didn't buy the child what it wanted. Don't give in and buy whatever it wants! If the tantrum continues, cut the shopping trip short, take the child home and put it on a time out or sit in a corner or whatever you do to let the child know it has been bad. This is not a situation that requires physical discipline, reserve that for really serious transgressions where the child has actually put itself or someone else in physical danger. And follow it up with a hug and quiet talk to assure the child that you love it.

Answer 3

Don't let him manipulate you now, or it will only get worse.

You have entered the real "terrible twos" which happened at almost three with my son, as well.

When I took him shopping, I told him in advance that I do not have any extra money for toys, so don't ask. If he had a fit, I'd tell him to be quiet, or we'd have to leave -- and there were times when he didn't stop, so we left. You have to follow through with what you say you'll do, or he'll never take you seriously - consistency is the key with discipline.

There was a good stretch of time when he'd stay home with his father when I had shopping to do. If he wanted to go along, he knew he had to behave. You are in charge, and you have to be firm. He needs to know that no means no.

Hang in there -- once this stage passes, another challenge will present itself. Parenting is the toughest job in the world!

Answer 4

Your son is at the age where he is having temper tantrums. He is testing you to see what he can get away with. First of all, most children go through this stage.Secondly,don't worry about what other people think, you're not a bad mother.When he begins whining or screaming for something he sees, let him. Don't speak to him in anger, ignore his outbursts, it will be hard, people will look at you, but so what. When you get home, and he gets calm, explain to him that his behavior is unacceptable, and that when he behaves correctly he will receive a reward.This will not happen over night, but if you keep calm he will learn correct behavior.Remember to praise him for things he does correctly. You will soon have a child who behaves himself in public.Good luck, I'm sure you'll see a big difference soon.

Answer 5

Talk to him before you go and remind him WHY you are going to the store. Remind him that you are going to buy groceries (whatever) and not toys for him.

Maybe give him "jobs" to do in the store such as "remember to get Daddy's coffee" or "you'll need to help me pick out the cookies and cereal."

Give him a notebook and crayon or something in the cart to write with so he can keep a "list" like your shopping list.

Distract him by playing "I spy" in the store.

Bring along some suckers in your purse to distract him.

Carry a small notebook in your purse and make a big deal of writing down the things that he likes in it "for later for your birthday" or "to tell Santa" or just as a "list of things he wants" and this will validate his desire to have it and let him know you understand it's important to him.

Taking away desserts or toys as mentioned above really won't work well. It's not a logical consequence of his actions and it will happen so long AFTER the shopping trip that he may not remember and connect the two. LEAVE the store if he doesn't pull himself together after a reminder or two about what you discussed and how he is to behave in the store.

I definatly agree that not taking him with you is NOT the answer. How do they learn to behave in public if we don't take them out in public? Make sure the expectations and consequences of his actions are clear before you go.

Answer 6

This is absolutely normal, age appropriate behavior! If it were me, I wouldn't give into him, but I wouldn't punish him either. Why punish him for something that is part of his normal deveoplment? Go somewhere quite and let him vent his anger. Let him cry, let him scream, and hug him is he'll let you. Don't bribe him. Just explain to him that he can't have what he wants. When he calms down finish what you need to quickly and take him home.

When he doesn't scream or throw a temper tantrum at the store, go out of your way to praise him. Just tell him how much you appreciated him being so happy while shopping and how it made your day easier. Kids at this age THRIVE on praise from their parents.

It takes a while to grow out of this stage, but they do eventually. Just think...................someday far in the future you'll be longing for those shopping trips. :)

Answer 7

You need to firmly set some ground rules for your son. Don't reward him for acting badly. If he mis-behaves in the store then you need to correct this behavior. Start giving him time outs for this. Take away his favorite toy, don't give him a dessert. If he asks why then tell him because he didn't behave. This is something that I had to do because my son did this as well. Now that he is a teenager he knows that he will lose a lot more then he will gain if he doesn't act right. Remember that everything to your son right now is the foundation of who he will be in the future. Teach him right from the start. Good Luck!

Answer 8

He's still going through his "terrible twos"!
Many children go through this behavior.
The best thing to do is to not let him get his way!
When he does this, quietly and calmly take him into
the bathroom and wait until he calms down.
Do not give in once he calms down,
quickly get your shopping done and go home.
Next time you go shopping, if he behaves better,
reward him and tell him why he's being rewarded.
Positive re-enforcement is always best.
If he is throws another tantrum next time, same process.
Or, if you are shopping with someone else (hubby, sister, etc)
you can let them finish the shopping while you take him
to the car for punishment.
Whatever works for you...
But trust me, just not taking him with you isn't the answer.
He will never learn how to behave appropriately in public.

Be patient, I believe most parents go through this type of thing.
It'll get better! :)

Answer 9

You have two choices, 1 walk off an leave him....trust me he will follow or two. take him up by the arm and tan his hide right there in the store and show him what is worth crying over. Whatever you do DON'T give him what he wants because he has then learned that all he has to do to get what he wants is to pitch a fit.

Answer 10

You're gonna have to be firm and not give in to him, that's what he wants. When you get to the car, spank him and tell him that when he acts like that he will get a spanking. If you'll do this consistantly he will stop. But you must be firm. If you are not a spanker, you might try taking a few of his fave toys and tell him he will get them back when he acts nice in the store. Then when you go to the store- remind him that he is trying to earn back his toys.