My girlfriend and I are having some issues. Im not really sure what she wants with me right now although she says she dont want to break up. My family is a big issue in our relationship. They have said many things about her that werent true and ruined her graduation party, by starting fights that came from them talking about her when she was nice enough to invite them. Anyway on top of that, she has alot of things to deal with that come from being with me..so im kind of stuck in the middle of everything and dont know what to do. I dont even know if she wants to be with me right now. My family has a problem that im with her but i dont know if thats the real problem. But its alot that she has to deal with with being with me thats putting more weight on her shoulders and she has way too much to deal with already. What should I do? I dont want to break up with her but I feel like it would be the best thing to do to relieve her from all that. What should I do?
2006-08-12 13:05:55 · 19 answers · asked by Shawn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
And I DO stick up for my girl, every time. It has caused numerous fist fights among my family and I especially between me and my twin who should support me instead of talk s.h.i.t but I do and my mom has even thrown a glass ash tray at me before...they think that just because I dont beat her *** and/or cheat that Im a little ***** because thats what they do...
2006-08-12 13:06:44 · update #1
Maybe you should DITCH your family and stick with the girl you love! Good for you for being a standup guy!
2006-08-12 13:12:05 · answer #1 · answered by shookyloo® 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Shawn. Hi! Obiously your living with you parents? You know if you're in their house you have to live by "their" rules! What has made them so angry about this girl? It seems like your whole family is against her! If they went to her graduation party and acted like you said then they were at fault there! If they're saying things about her that aren't true where did they get their information from and why is that person spreading lies and rumors about her? If you know who that person is I would confront them! Tell them that they need to go to your family and tell them the truth! I think your girlfriend should have something to say about it because it's her thats being talked about! Wait a minute, you're taking the blame for your family when you say that she{ your girlfriend} has allot to deal with because she's with you, don't take that blame, it's your family, not you! The only other thing that I can see, and you are not going to like this part, is that your family is right about her! The way you feel about her is not making you realize the real truth about her! They're watching out for you and they're frustrated and angy that you don't see this! Throwing ash trays at you is "not" a way to get you to listen to them and understand. I think "everyone should sit down calmly and get all the issues out in the open. Let "her" defend herself if she's not the person they make her out to be. If she doesn't want to confront them, yes and I know how they've acted towards her before,and she can't talk to them them maybe there is some truth behind the way they feel! If they act like normal human beings she should be able to discuss your problems with her! If your both 18 or over, there's nothing they can do to keep you apart if you both want to be together! Then all's I can tell you is don't bring her around your family! It going to be hard that way because there will be "family" occasions where you'll have to be there without her! Either you sit down and straighten things out with your family or keep your relationship separate if you're going to be together! Otherwise if you can't work that out then you say "good bye"!! Hope things work out for you! Good LUck!
2006-08-12 13:53:18 · answer #2 · answered by noditz57 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I donn't think she wants you to brake it off. the best thing you can do is support her at this time of crisis. If you say that your family is giving you both a hard time in the relationship, simply ignore it. I think you should keep her away from your family. Maybe take har to your pad when your family isn't around. That way she won't feel bothered and you. Don't give up. You both can do it, dude. There's always hope. All what you need right now is eachother. You can always give her some space. Maybe she needs to have time for her self. Nonetheless, support her. I wish you both the best. Good Luck!
2006-08-12 13:17:45 · answer #3 · answered by Drivliam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already are doing the right and only thing you can do: FOLLOW YOUR HEART and do not listen. Anyone who feels that he/she can physically or verbally abuse you for sticking with your girl has a problem, not you. And anyone who feels that abuse is the solution also has a problem, because violence is never a solution.
I don't know how old you are, but I would say that depending on your age you might be wise to seek advice of a reasonable adult, such as a football coach or a minister because it seems to me that it is not you who has a problem, but your family.
If you love your girl, stay with her. Tell her how you feel about her and ask her for patience. Return violence with kindness. Don't fight with your twin, but also do not expect for him/her to stand up for you. It is not cool to go out there and cheat nor is it cool to beat a girl---you are doing the absolute right thing and ought to be very proud of yourself.
As far as the girl goes: talk to her. Because if you two care for each other, then you two can see to it that you find a way to relieve her from the burden of feeling awful about this, because I think she is blaming herself for your family's behavior. Like I said, try to get advice and support from an adult who is close to you and understands you, and I really wish you both good luck.
2006-08-12 13:27:32 · answer #4 · answered by MARIANNE G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.
Do not discuss you or your g/f with your family now or in the future. The only way that people can get "into your business" is if they've been invited. Otherwise; what they do not know, the can't beat you up over.
Don't distance yourself from your family. Just keep your relationship with your g/f separate from your relationship with your family. Even if you were to marry her someday....the same should apply.
The reason so many familys fight over spouses etc is because they are told things by each spouse. It is none of their business.
Good luck to you.
2006-08-12 13:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dealt wit the same thing. is your gf worth all the trouble thats what i asked myself and came up wit the idea that she is so i said forget my family also we have 2 daughters so our case was a little different but our family just went away from them i wasnt going to end up marrying my family so i stuck wit her and understood all that i could i been happy what is ur family doing for you anyway you have to grow up put urself in her shoes i am sure she cares about u but a woman can only take so much (know that from my wife) so she has to know that she is important and u have to show that to her by sowin her u can live and b with her and that thats enough instead of playing both sides especially while they are hurting the two of u.the answer is in front of your face. she is a woman ur going to just be with her in the end anyway use ur mind here
i hope everything goes great
2006-08-14 07:09:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you dating her? or are you dating your family? You're not STUCK in the middle of anything. Grow some balls and put your family in check. OR don't check them and move your relationship from the middle of your family. Ya know? Stop talking to them about all your business and keep them out of your affair. You're gonna break up with her over your family? When you get married will it be to your family?
2006-08-12 13:16:06 · answer #7 · answered by cami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
~~~In order to answer your question indepth,,,I would need to know your aprox ages,,,,are you still in school?? You did not elaborate on what type of issues your girlfriend has?? But that aside,,,it sounds like your family is not very supportive of your relationship,,,but if you and your girlfriend truly care about eachother,,,that is all that should matter,,,unless she is doing things that could be illegal and detrimental to your future,,,even so,,that would be something you and your girlfriend need to sit down and discuss,,,,being honest with eachother,,,you may love each other,,,but it is a healthy relationship,,,sit down,,,talk with her,,,I wish I had an answer about your family,,,but I dont know the details,,,,~~~
2006-08-12 13:16:19 · answer #8 · answered by ~~Penny~~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know you don't want to hear this, but if you want to keep the girl, then you need to distance yourself from your family. try moving a little farther away from them. even if you do break up with this girl, whats to say your family won't do the same thing to the next girl and the one after that. this is your life and you have a right to be happy.
2006-08-12 13:16:26 · answer #9 · answered by Ms Berry Picker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all love our families, and most of us for good reasons, however, if your family can't be supportive of your relationship, then maybe you should create some space between you and them. Sounds harsh, yeah I know but don't sacrifice your happiness and hers to make others happy. Ever heard of "Looking out for number one"? Again, don't stop talking to them, just maybe talk to them a little less and let them know that any bad-mouthing of your girl is grounds for dismissal of conversation. Good Luck to you!!!
2006-08-12 13:19:30 · answer #10 · answered by K. C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't your family like her? Just sit your girlfriend down and let her know that you really care for her. If you love this girl then don't listen to anything anyone has to say about her. YOu didn't say why your family has a such a big issue with her
2006-08-12 13:11:09 · answer #11 · answered by confused 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋