My best friend got married on short notice this last New Years. I was the Maid of Honor. Her and I talked and decided that with only a few weeks till the wedding there wouldn't be much time for a bridal shower and didn't do one. I didn't do one after, because as far as I knew, you don't throw it after the wedding. Now, 8 months later, the moms have decided to throw a bridal shower. But now as the Maid of Honor I feel really guilty that they feel like they have to throw one becuase I didnt. They have already planned time date and place for the shower. I was going to call the moms and ask to help out but feel so bad. Any advise? Should I feel guilty since the bride and I had talked about this? Any advice on how to handle this situation? I just don't know the ettiqute on weddings and showers at all. This was my first time being MOH or even going to a wedding.
2006-08-12 12:57:01 · 10 answers · asked by sofun 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
They apparently didn't consult an ettiquette book, because it is very uncalled for to throw a shower 8 months after a wedding. I'd call and offer my assistance, but nothing else. I wouldn't want my name as a host of that shower.
2006-08-12 18:02:54 · answer #1 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please quit beating yourself up....Call the Moms and ask if you can help, and explain just what you did here, and I know they would be happy for the help. Ettiqute and responsibilities of the Maid of honor seems to change everytime you read a new article in a bridal magazine. If the bride is not mad at you, then don't worry about it. My daughter just got married, and honey, and we are still recovering from all the stress and worries. I am sure, that as the Mother of the bride, I forgot plenty, as a matter of fact, I didn't get the announcement in the papers, tell me about getting some rude comments, Just ask if you can help, and explain that this was your first time going to a wedding-much less being honored by named Maid of honor...Mom's are usally very understanding people. I am anyways.....If you get a negative response, then you and the girls take your friend out for a girl's night out, and chalk it for experience. If it was a big deal one of mothers could have asked your plans, knowing you didn't have any experience with weddings..so it's their fault too!!!!! lol
God bless us all.............
2006-08-12 20:43:49 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but being maid of honor does NOT require you to host a bridal shower. It's a nice thing to do but not required. I also really do not think bridal showers should be held after the wedding takes place. Perhaps the moms should visit www.etiquettehell.com themselves. It's should be something like a house warming party NOT a bridal shower and you should not feel guilty.
I agree a slumber party with the girls would be nice but I would not consult the moms at all.
2006-08-12 20:27:44 · answer #3 · answered by treday25 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe I don't know about etiquette either, as I have never heard of having a bridal shower after the wedding... and I've been on the planet a while. Don't feel guilty about it, but it might not hurt to just ask if you can help out with anything.
2006-08-12 20:02:53 · answer #4 · answered by Avid 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to drop the issue like a hot potato.
Those families are being totally improper in having a shower for someone who is already married, AND showers are not supposed to be hosted by family members-- so they are exhibiting bad manners on both counts.
A shower is not required for any bride. It is totally optional. In addition, she got married on short notice, which means even less time to have a shower.
Clearly her families have no sense of etiquette and are throwing this tacky gift-grab cluelessly. I can't believe people have so little sense in this day and age.
This is SOOOOOO not your problem. It's theirs.
2006-08-12 21:11:49 · answer #5 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't sweat it. If you cleared it with the bride then its fine. Offer to host a house warming for her, or even a girls night out. Remember that just because she's married she doesn't enjoy being with her friends. I've only been married a little over a year and my girlfriends and I try to get together once a month or so...try starting a new tradition for her and her best buds.
2006-08-12 20:56:16 · answer #6 · answered by teacherg 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is bizarre and in truly bad taste to have a wedding shower after the wedding. What are they thinking?
2006-08-13 05:37:25 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get an etiquette book.
2006-08-12 20:01:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anne 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should go to www.slumberparties.com and have a belated bachelorette-like party. it's really fun i just had one a while ago and had a blast!
2006-08-12 20:10:31 · answer #9 · answered by hecate07666 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yup
2006-08-12 20:48:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋