To non-believers?

Question

From what I have been able to gather from this site, the majority of you seem to have been raised with a religion initially. I am one of what must be a smaller percent that was born and raised a non believer. So I suppose I am lucky that my parents are no different, likewise most of our family, and I never had to deal with telling my family I no longer believed.

I was just wondering how did the rest of you deal with that, "coming out" about it, so to speak, if your family is religious?

Good point, I should have added 'if you have told them' to the question.

Adam T, that is like how it was for me. My parents left it open for me to choose. They even sent me to church for a bit with neighbor's kids (not religious either) and their aunt, and vacation bible school two different summers because they thought it was a good idea that I get to see that side as well. In the end it had no affect, I didn't believe in it and I stayed who I was born.

Answer 1

Years of very intense arguments as a teenager... made me read an awful lot to justify myself against the "you're just a child, you don't know anything" arguments.

In the long run it did me good. I read the Bible, the Qu'ran, and an awful lot of Hindu texts as a teenager, as well as a lot of scientific literature. It made me even more convinced that scientific enquiry and rationalism are the only way to understand the world, and that religion is a cop-out.

My family now accept my atheism, and some of the younger members of my extended family have followed me. Initially this led to a lot of "you're corrupting them"... but again, that has now tapered off. It was tough though.

Answer 2

Even though I was raised as if both of my parents were religious...my dad isn't religious at all but my mom is a Christian. My dad knows what I think of religious beliefs since we have talked about it a little but I have never said "hey dad, I'm an atheist." I don't really know if he is an atheist or just not-religious, and there is really no reason why I should risk having him worry over my soul in case he does have some sort of belief in an afterlife. His health isn't that great anyway, no reason to add any extra emotional strain. If he ever asked or we got on that subject, then I'd be truthful.

My mom is one of those Christians who thinks atheists are evil. I have gotten as far as telling her that I think either all religions must be right or they are all wrong wrong but didn't say that if I had come to a conclusion nor not. She accepted my giving a pluralist view of religion fairly well; commenting on how I've always been a logical thinker (she also laughed a little uncomfortably when saying that, but didn't look too upset). She probably thinks that I'm still searching for what I view as the truth. I don't see a point in telling her I'm an atheist...the only time I've ever felt like telling her was when I was mad and wanted to piss her off a little and that's a terrible reason to tell a parent that you have rejected their religion as a mere fairy tale. So, realizing that no real good would come of telling her I'm an atheist (other than possibly getting her to view atheists in a more favorable light...which I can do just by explaining why atheists are often moral and good people) I doubt I'll ever be in a situation where I'll let her know I'm an atheist. As with my dad, the only way I'll probably tell her is if she asks me directly.

If I have kids in the future, that would probably create a situation where I would have to "come out" to family, so they'd understand why I would be teaching the kids about numerous religions and why the kids don't consider themselves part of a particular religion. Plus, it's better for family to find out from me saying it rather than my possible future kids one day blurting out "mommy thinks your god is imaginary."

Answer 3

For me there was really no "coming out" I started asking questions about the bible and religion to my family, so they really weren't that surprised that I didn't believe. They couldn't give me good answers, and neither could anyone or anything else (bible or other reference books). I'm not sure they're all that comfortable with their own beliefs anyway....when they had to answer me with something like "well, that's just one of the mysteries of the bible", they looked very uncomfortable saying it out loud. Like they realized how stupid it sounded. Sorry to put it that way, no bashing intended.

Just wondering how any christian parents would deal with that situation. You explain as best as you can to your children, but they still look at you like you're an idiot. C'mon parents, you know that look....

Answer 4

My parents raised me to be independent first and foremost, so when I asserted that independence and at the age of 15 I told them I was no longer following christianity they accepted that. My father wasn't in the least bit surprised, my mother disappointed but both did not hassle me for my decision. From there I went to Wicca for many years before becoming an atheist. My parents still love and support me because they are confident in the child they raised to make good decisions for herself.

Answer 5

My family was never overly religious. They claim to be christian, though they are losing their faith. They never made a fuss about my non-belief until I told them I was also a practicing Satanist. Which once I educated them on what it actually was, they were fine with and accepted it and agree with most of Anton LaVey's philosophy.

Answer 6

I was told to find what I believe on my own, and my parents would support me (no cults). I stayed atheist, as I was not born a believer. For the record, my parents don't have a religion.

Answer 7

I was a practicing Christian for over 30 years and did not become an atheist until I was about 40. By the time I reached 40, it was irrelevant to me what my family or anyone else thought.

I had no reason to pretend.

Answer 8

Everybody accepted my decision, and would have accepted it if I chose a religion other than Christianity. I announced that I truly did not believe in God when I was around 12, my mother asked "Do you truly? Or is it because I don't believe in a god"?. I answered with truth that "How could god exist, it is just not possible". And she was satisfied with my answer. She believed that me and my brothers should choose our own religion when we decide to.

Answer 9

It started when I told my father I believed some things didn't make sense in the faith. He agreed with me, but we still went to church. Finally, we stopped going one day when we saw a beggar get kicked out of the church because he couldn't make a donation at donation time... We packed our bags and headed east... Always east...

The End. Actually, the beggar thing didn't happen, but I think my father and I both came to our senses at the same time.

Answer 10

My mother is religious, my father is not. They're divorced. So I had the good fortune of my mother having next to no power, because she's a nervous wreck and didn't have custody. Hooray!