But now he's hesistant to have one.
He is 38 and she is 36 and they both have college degrees and good paying jobs with insurance. She doesn't want to trick him into having a baby, but it is a life's dream for her, she is tempted to divorce him because she so desperately wants a family. He does not want to adopt. What should she do?
2006-08-12 12:14:06 · 12 answers · asked by doublewidemama 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Talk to him. He is just probably scared. Its not easy being a parent and most people are scared and worried they will not be fit parents. They just need to talk.
2006-08-12 12:16:37 · answer #1 · answered by aeseiler2 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that she should remind him that that was one of the things they agreed on when they got engaged.
She should assure him that she loves him but she also wants to have a family. I wonder what is the reason he has for not wanting to have kids. Maybe he feels he is not ready, maybe he had a bad childhood or he does not love your sister enough to think he will spend the rest of his life with him. I think he is being very selfish not letting her full fill every woman's dream, having a baby.
2006-08-13 23:32:59 · answer #2 · answered by Sandra D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he told her before they got married that he was willing to have a child then HE is wrong for not honoring this promise. Nobody deserves to get married based on a lie. Since he has become too selfish to want to give his time, attention, love, and money to a child, she needs to divorce him today and find a man who is MAN enough to be a FATHER - he is a selfish bastard for lying to her about wanting children.
2006-08-12 19:25:50 · answer #3 · answered by ouisy_01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may have a fear about becoming father. She should talk it over with him and explain that she really wants kids and find out why he doesn't? Now, if he doesn't want kids, she should probably leave. My aunt (who dearly to this day wants a baby) married a guy and later found out he didn't want children. She has stayed with him and now she is too old to have children. She has said numerous times that she had wished she had children and that she had left....but her time is up now cause she's going through menopause now. I think that if she wants children, she should have some....even if it means leaving and finding someone else to have them with her.
2006-08-16 13:52:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i would tell her not to divorce him because that would be crazy... but that sounds like me and my husband. we have tried to have a baby for 2 years and i just got to the point to where i thought that i would never have my family that i wanted but now im 6 months pregnant with our first child. tell her to stop stress over it and let him come to that decision on his own and to pray about it i prayed and prayed for over a year and then finally i said ok God i guess im not having a child of my own so i put it out of my head and started thinking of stuff me and my husband could do together for us and in that very month i got pregnant. but they also need to sit down and talk about the situation. we did and now he is so happy about having a baby he was even the one that told me after i had decided not to have one right now. it will work out when God wants it to.
2006-08-12 19:20:22 · answer #5 · answered by MaRrIeDmAmA2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She shouldn't have a baby with a man who doesn't want one. I know that much. It's not very bright, even for a college-educated worman, to try and trick a man into having one with her. She should be honest with him. If he had agreed before marriage that they would, that seems wrong but for her to trick him would be equally wrong. She needs to talk with him about it. Maybe he's hesitant for his own emotional reasons and they should seek counseling.
2006-08-12 19:17:41 · answer #6 · answered by BeamMeUpMom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask him find out exactly why he doesn't. A male ego although a natural rough exterior is still tender on the inside I suggest they just communicate this out and with some time they'll both agree on when and if.
2006-08-12 19:37:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce him but i dont thats a great answer but i wouldnt want to not ahve a baby and if my hubby didnt even let me adopt then i would divorce him!!!!
2006-08-12 19:22:12 · answer #8 · answered by diliooooo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him is the best bet if he doesn't want kids don't force it on him she may be getting too far advanced in her biologicla clock maybe that is what is bothiering him or he could be too comfortable to want anyone to get her attention ( a baby requires alot of attention) she can decide what she wants to do agfter talking to both her hubby and her doctor
2006-08-12 19:19:44 · answer #9 · answered by Elaine F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counseling.
2006-08-12 19:56:37 · answer #10 · answered by Wise ol' owl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋