What is the best way to deal with a soft hearted 4 year old boy? Let him cry over everything and leave it at that, or do something to toughen him up?
2006-08-12 12:01:14 · 14 answers · asked by Imani 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Just to let ya'll know, I don't think he's going to be 'gay' but if he was, I wouldn't care either. What I mean is that he cries about everything. Drops something, plays hurt and cries,, you know.
2006-08-12 12:07:12 · update #1
It sounds like you have a very sensitive little guy. My son was like that, too. I would suggest that you talk with him and help him sort out his emotions and what his possible options are, so his feelings are acknowledged and validated but so he also sees that he can make choices. When he cries about something, you could start out by saying something like, "Boy, you seem really mad, huh? You really wanted ________(whatever it was) and it can really make a person mad when they don't get what they want." Just like with us adults, having someone take your feelings seriously makes us feel better. Then listen to what he has to say, and rephrase it back to him. "So you were hoping that _______ and now you feel so disappointed." Soon you will be at the place where you can say, "Well, _______ isn't available. I wonder what else you could do." Not everything will be fixable, of course - we all need to learn that. But it makes it much easier when you know that someone cares about how you feel.
Life is harder for the sensitive among us. Eventually my son learned for himself to develop a thicker skin and not to be hurt so easily. He is very calm and self-confident. And today he is a really kind young man who has taken his sensitive nature and put it into becoming a paramedic. He relates very well to the people he helps, especially people who need someone to listen and to tell them that it will be alright.
So value your son's sensitivity, help him learn about his feelings and choices he has in dealing with them, and be grateful that he isn't cold-hearted.
2006-08-12 13:06:59 · answer #1 · answered by sonomanona 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well... what exactly can you do to "toughen him up"? Whatever the answer is... I'm sure its not a very good one. Buuut, if I were in the situation, I wouldn't exactly let him cry over everything because that seems like spoiling the child. But, I would try my best to avoid doing anything to make him cry or take him anywhere where he might start a crying fest.
2006-08-12 12:07:50 · answer #2 · answered by Ashley P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello dear i don't think girls are so soft hearted they are just soft tissued and make big issue of small tissue ... any human being have some feelings ... actually guys are taught to be brave and not to shed tears so they tend to act brave and strong ... go ask their mother and latter their wives u will realize men do have strong feelings then women ... loss of loved ones can leave a man in very bad shape .. women can and will find some support very soon but not .. man .. u need to learn lot more things before u ask this kinda question all the best for u life god bless u bye
2016-03-26 23:27:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son was like this too. He is now almost seven. He has the biggest and kindest heart you have seen. He wants to help everyone homeless people and the special needs children at school. He stands up when people are treated badly he is very popular and well liked and actually an amazingly strong child. Encourage your son to talk about what he feels and just nurture his personality. We have to many mean kids in this world it is nice to have a few nice ones.
2006-08-12 19:40:10 · answer #4 · answered by stacyrad2001 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's four, not forty. In the big picture, he is still a baby. There is nothing wrong with him showing emotion.
But on the other side, don't overdramatize the situation. Plainly ask him why he is upset, try to calm him, and talk it through. Help him to learn how to deal with his emotions, instead of letting him cry it out.
2006-08-12 12:10:06 · answer #5 · answered by KD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him cry. We need a few soft hearted men in the world. When my nephews done that, my sister would tell them to suck it up. Now they are 7 years old with really bad attitudes.
2006-08-12 17:24:00 · answer #6 · answered by tricksy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Little kids cry all of the time about everything. Toddlers are still not able to communicate and get frustrated very easily. The only way they know of to handle this is by crying. It will pass , so no worries.
2006-08-12 13:14:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What's wrong with soft hearted. Society puts labels on genders which hinder them in the future. Let your child be soft hearted. Let him know that you love the person that he is. Don't try to change him...............and he will soon grow out of it.
2006-08-12 23:35:56 · answer #8 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's just a stage my son cries when he can't do things himself but his only 16 months just let him cry it out and try talking to him about what his upset about
2006-08-12 14:09:35 · answer #9 · answered by Moo moo I'm a chicken 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I rather have a child that is 'soft hearted' than some monster! And yeah, let him be...
2006-08-12 12:10:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋