I'm really shy! please help?

Question

I am very shy all the time

My friends think it's ok

But others think i'm really snotty because i don't say much

How do i overcome this?? help will be appreciated

thanx much

Answer 1

When I was younger, I used to be very shy, but when I got older and had my children, I would speak up for them, and finally learned to speak up for myself! Also, if you don't speak up for yourself in this world, no one else will. Usually if you start talking to people, most of them are friendly, and the ones that aren't, are simply not worth it anyway!

Answer 2

There are all sorts of things you can do to get over this kind of thing. The first step would be determining why you are shy. Are you afraid to look foolish or to say something that will upset someone else? Do you have a physical charateristic that you are not happy with that keeps you out of the limelight or are you just more interested in hearing what others are saying?

At one point I got a pair of regular glasses that had no prescription in them that I could wear and "hide behind" when i was feeling shy in social situations - that worked great (though existing friends didn't like it)

I did a lot of temp work and never kept an assignment for more than 2 weeks. That meant that every 2 weeks I was in a new social situation. That really helped my confidence at getting a new job, but it didn't really force me to be more social - I still pretty much kept to myself.

Then I moved across country and realized that i was going to be alone if I didn't get out there. I realized that everyone is the same and there is no reason for me to be shy. Everyone wants to say only smart and important things but everyone says stupid things from time to time. Everyone has something about themselves that they are not comfortable with - but the ones having fun are the ones who just ignore it.

What I am trying to say is that once you realize that we are all the same, you have a kind of safety. If you say something stupid you can think or even say "oops, guess it is my turn to put my foot in my mouth" and you know what, everyone else will relax and laugh and it will be over. It is the person who is constantly thinking "oh my god, I am so nervous" that is having a hard time, because of that thought alone. Those who ignore that and think "we are all the same, just trying to relate and have fun" are the ones out there having a good time. It really just comes down to a choice.

Peace!

Answer 3

Hi, I may be able to help. What you should try to do is to be interested in other people as opposed to being self concious (which we can call being interesting as you're being your focus of attention) Here are 5 tips that may help:

1. Strive to shift your attention from yourself onto other people or objects. This is a great stress reliever.

2. Find things about people that interest you. Force yourself to look for interesting things. Soon you will automatically take interest in people without thinking about it.

3. If you catch yourself acting like someone else, you are being interesting. Simply get interested in the person in front of you and you’ll feel more natural. You are most effective when you are simply being yourself.

4. When someone makes you nervous or shy, get interested in them. Take your attention off of yourself and on to others. With practice, you will be calm, even bold.

5. Focus on how you can help others. Let your interest in helping people replace your tendency to act interesting. Your effectiveness and popularity will soar.

Answer 4

It does not matter how much effort you put into some how pleasing others, human nature will always find faults. Be your self and most importantly do it for yourself. If you want friends, and be more successful then only do it for your benefit at every step. Remember, in the end of the day people care about their problems, not yours.

Answer 5

I'm teh same way, I'll hang out and say absolutely nothing and be having a great time. Some people just don't understand that we all don't have to be loud or super social to be happy. It's normal, it's fine. If someone asks you a question, don't be afraid to just answer it straight up. BE YOURSELF!

Answer 6

What you can do first is talking to yourself loudly. Ask a thousand of questions to yourself and then answer them. It will help you to develop your way of conversation with others. you have friends and they also think that you are OK this way- that means that you can communicate with them in your own way- might not verbally . And judging yourself is also showing that you want self development. this is so nice of you.

Answer 7

Just say Hi to people you don't know and start conversations
Tell your friend that your just shy

Answer 8

just ask questions to people adn u will over come this. If they have questions for u just answer them the best u can. dont be shy

Answer 9

to get over your shyness you just have to be more outgoing it will be hard at first but you have to take baby steps..... just dont give up because you will be discourged but if you keep it up then youll get more and more used to the idea of not being shy.........

Answer 10

you just have to try to work out the courage to talk to people. Like how did you become friends with your friends? I'm sure you talk to them right? maybe they were the ones to approach you first and talk to you, so you'd talk back to them and becoming friends. so to over come your shyness, just talk to people like how you become friends with your friends.