I feel piggy in the middle because my family keep falling out what can i do to stop it?
2006-08-12 09:36:12 · 20 answers · asked by Tony Hi_teck 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Not easy is it .... trying to balance authority and love .... all I can suggest is using the wisdom of age to bring everyone together to discuss the problem --- no arguments, insist upon it.
2006-08-12 09:45:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you didn't really provide much to go on. however, I am a father of 6, a family therapist, and a pastor to boot. So I will give this a shot....
First, there are no parenting manuals that we are handed when our children are born. Don't know how many kids you have, but you have probably figured out that each one has its own personality, and has had it since birth.
Couple of other things to keep in mind... (with a little humor...)
0-1 kids Huge transition. To the rest of us, this is more like playing house.
1-2 Big transition. you are almost a family.
2-3 Another big transition. You are now an official family. You have a oldest, youngest, and middle child. All the dynamics are there.
After that, the number of kids doensn't make too much of transitions, because it is just more of the same dynamics.
Then of course, there is the issue of childhood developmental stages. What worked a couple of years ago, may not work now. Basically, (without going into each stage) remember that your child is growing more and more independent as ttime goes on. Not only physically, but spiritually, and emotionally. As all things, this happens in spits and spurts, and occasional backslides. That also means that our parental relationship changes at the same time.
Hey, let's throw the changing marriage relationship that happens during this entire process. First most of us can not use our parents' marriage as a decent example, because 1. some of them divorced, 2. mom might have been a homemaker then, but is an equal now, and 3. the world has changed a lot. Thank God some things have not changed. Marriage is about love and communication. Marriage (for the entire history of the world) has never been easy. it is something you work at, you have put energy into it.
If you are in a family that is mixed. By that I mean - steps, halves, hers, mine, and ours. Not to mention the normal in-laws. That is a lot going on at the same time.
Does that mean it is impossible? By no means. Be your loving, caring self. Spend time getting to know your kids and your spouse. You can do it. If it was impossible, humanity would have died off a long time ago... LOL
Hope that helps,
Vic
2006-08-12 09:55:20 · answer #2 · answered by Vic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some times families just all think there doing whats best by telling you what you should be doing but really the best advice is to go with your gut and ask yourself does this make you feel comfortable!will your child be ok if you decide......there not bringing the child up so you and your partner need to have the last say...my family was the same and never let my have any say i felt like an outsider in my child's life till one day i thought how will my kid look up to me I speck up i did,i took a very long time for every one to trust my ways but now they butt out i still include them just when i want to not have to......hope it gets better
2006-08-13 04:30:51 · answer #3 · answered by bec`s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure how to even answer this, what do you mean by falling out?
And being a parent is hard period.. father or mother
2006-08-12 09:39:28 · answer #4 · answered by anna 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have no answer, but try being the Father AND the Mother, I am and it is hell sometimes.
I wish the older ones would go to bed before me so that I can have some time to myself in my own home and not just in my bedroom.
2006-08-12 10:01:48 · answer #5 · answered by Bill(56 yrs old) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shout at the top of your voice for them all to stop what they are doing and to damn well listen to you for a change and if they don't like it then tuff cause your gonna have your say whether they like it or not, hope that gets their attention, after that its up to you to say what you want to your family and hopefully this time they will listen to you and you can all get on a lot better, good luck.
2006-08-12 09:46:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm having the same problem with my 3 kids, and it is starting to get me down, if you come up with an answer let me know on my 360 and vice a versa.
2006-08-12 09:43:03 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree, it is hard. But you have to take one day at a time and don't let it get the best of you. It will all work out and you will do fine.
2006-08-12 09:51:03 · answer #8 · answered by pooda_victoryismine 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How is it so hard? Everyone has quarells.
Besides no matter how good a Dad you are you have to admit, Mother's do most of the work?! lol
2006-08-12 09:44:17 · answer #9 · answered by alexandrairvine 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When this happens I go to a strip club. The girls are nice to you and then go home and not much else matters. Life is beautiful.
2006-08-12 09:44:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋