How come everytime I'm happy my mom tries to make me feel sad?

Question

I was just wondering, I mean it's like everytime I'm trying my hardest to be positive, my mom is negative and points out all my bad qualities, even when we aren't even arguing, I feel like she's always trying to make it a point to me that I'm a bad person... Why is this? I can't even talk to her without her getting me pissed off.

Answer 1

because both of you love each other too much. and only with close friends this happens:) dont worry cheer up and have more friendly discussions with mom. they are the best friend in this world. if you are right who knows she would listen to you.

Answer 2

All girls do this with their mothers once they reach a certain age. Both of my sisters did it. It's really sad how hurtful a daughter can be to her mother and vice versa but that is the way it goes I suppose.

Just keep a stiff upper lip about it. Try to be a good person and avoid doing things just to make your mom angry. And if you are that bad around her then just try to distance yourself from her. Or, talk to her about how you feel. I know that sounds like a dumb idea but it is actually the best idea in the long run. If you do that, you will thank me years from now when you still have a friendship with your mom instead of..nothing.

Answer 3

Tell this to your dad and ask that you all three sit down and talk about it. If you just have to deal with your mom and this continues, you have to think that she has some of her own self-esteem problems. Don't argue with her and do the best you can. If you know that you are a good person and try your best, that is all you need. This is a problem that you will deal with the rest of your life.....you can start now to grow a tough skin.

Answer 4

Moms are miserable because they see you living your life, happily, and regret not living a fulfilling life themselves. Even if they know your happiness is temporary and you yourself have your own ups and downs, this affects their dissatisfaction with their own life. It is the same thing when moms try to prevent you from making the same mistakes they've made. Your happiness is also a reflection of independence, by the fact that you are not dependent on them for every pleasure. Tell mom you're trying to lay off the breast milk and live a great life, whether she likes it or Not. You are going to lead the best life you can and she has to like it or love it!

Answer 5

I am not sure..But it isn't right for her to do that. She should be telling you all your good qualities and I bet you have many. You should talk to her about that. Tell her that it makes you feel very bad when she lets you down like that. I don't think that she would like it if her mom had done that to her. Let her know how you feel and if that doesn't work, try to ignore it. I bet your a great person..Believe in yourself.

Answer 6

Ah, generalizations and warnings of your faults--that's what some mums do. Have you told her how this makes you feel? I mean, have you said, "You know, Mom, I know you're trying to be helpful but I would appreciate it if you wouldn't lay out all of my faults like that. Next time, if you could just be happy for me in the things I'm doing, not in the things I could be doing better."

Answer 7

I had a mother like that. She is still around I just don't go to her anymore for anything. I don't talk to her about a thing because she would do the same thing to me and it is not a healthy way to live. (maybe from her point of view, but not mine!) We need people that are positive in our lives and I chose to give up those people that refused to talk to me, hear my side, insist on dragging me down & making me feel worthless. Ahhh, life is wonderful now. ~sigh of relief~

Answer 8

It's psychology. Back in the days, your mom's life was probably harder. She sees you watching tv, using the computer, listening to your IPOD, all these things makes her jealous and angry that your wasting your time. That is why she wants you to improve as a person, and to take advantage of all the things out there.

Answer 9

i know what u're going through; i grew up with someone just like that. as if putting me down wasn't enough, she'd compare me constantly to other ppl 's daughters and why couldn't i be like them. needless to say, i grew up hating her because she totally f***ed up my self-esteem. i still have issues to this day (i'm almost 24). she'd tell me that her mother did the same to her and she ended up a better person for it. i guess ganging up on a little girl and shredding her sense of self-worth automatically makes u a good mother. my useless father is the same way and he says he's grateful somebody loved him enough to point out all his faults so he could fix them. both of them can drop dead and rot as far as i'm concerned. i would never want to subject another child to what i went through. so many times i wanted to tell at least one of her friends what was going on, but i always believed they'd take her side; after all, if they talk to her they're probably just like her. i realize now that that was her brainwashing me so i wouldn't tell. honey, if it makes u cry then it's abuse, plain and simple. it doesn't matter if she never strikes u; she's leaving bruises on the inside where they're not visible so she can keep on hurting you. talk to someone u feel close to or better yet, call child protective services because no one deserves to be emotionally abused. it ruins ur life and leaves u angry, bitter, and resentful. take it from me : she's never going to change, mine never did. long story short, get help FAST.

Answer 10

It sounds like its your Mom that has a problem. I dont know how old you are and that would help alot. Maybe she isnt happy and doesnt want you to be either. Have you or can you talk to anyone else about this??? Good luck.