what to do about a pretend imaginary friend?

Question

Does anyone have experience with imaginary friends? What should you do if you know someone that has a pretend imaginary friend--they heard of imaginary friends or watched a show where a kid has one and they pretend they have one now. Should you just let the child go on pretending or talk to the child about it? If talk, what should you say?

Answer 1

Be honest and tell the child, "I'm sorry. I can't see 'Freddy'", but then go along with listening to what the child says about "Freddy". Just kind of listen, play along up to a point, and don't pretend that you see Freddy too, because the child will get mad when you say something that Freddy is doing that his just isn't doing in the child's imagination. You don't know what Freddy is doing. The child does. Don't bring up Freddy unless the child does.

I didn't have imaginary friends, but I would tell my four-year-old buddy (when I was four as well) about the horse I had in my basement or the child-sized train that would take children to magical places. I could see the horse and the train, and I was hoping the friend would enjoy the grand tale I was telling. I didn't see it as lying, as I was later accused by the dull little idiot I played with, I saw it as just imagining wonderful things and sharing those wonderful things.

So just listen to your child. Act like you enjoy what he's saying. Freddie won't be around forever..

Thinking back (way back), I realize why I thought I should tell the horse and train stories. Its what I thought people did, and I was trying to be what people seemed to be to me. When you're little, older people are always informing you about things (which you find fascinating), telling you stories to entertain you (which you enjoy and appreciate). The world is always being interesting to you. You get to think this is what you're supposed to be to other people - not to get attention, but to "give back" to a world that probably has delighted and interested you so often.

You don't really plan to think up the imaginary thing. I just kind of occurs to you. You imagine it, fantasize, realize you can control where the story goes (another thing that makes a child feel capable). So now you have something interesting to share with the world, and you're anxious to share it because until now you haven't had anything (you think) to give back. The truth is very small children don't have much information to offer the world, so they find something they think is good and delightful and fun and new and share that instead.

Answer 2

I had an imaginary friend when I was 2 to 3 years old... I pretended that he went everywhere with me.. Eventually, I forgot about him.. can't remember when but by the time I was 4 or 5, I didn't have imgainary friends. I had real friends. Let the kid be a kid. :)

Answer 3

It's perfectly normal for a child to have an imaginary friend. My son had "Bite" (named that cause that was all he could say then) and my daughter now has "baby" (pretty much the same reason) They will outgrow it. It's nothing to be worried about. Your child just has an active imagination. Sometimes they could have the friend because they feel they are missing something elsewhere. Like school ending or whatever. Talk to the child and if nothing is bothering him let him grow out of it. He's prefectly fine.

Answer 4

Create one of your own!

Imaginary friends are a child's escape from reality. My imaginary friend and I lived through the first 9 years of my life. He was my best friend, and I thought it was strange that only I could see him.

My parents were always angered when I suggested that my imaginary friend join us for a family event. One day, my father answered, 'only if your imaginary friend would sit with 'his' imaginary friend'. Confused that he in fact had one, I agreed.

My imaginary friend told me about my dad's friend, and that they wanted to go off and be alone. One day, my friend stopped coming around. Sad but true, I was lonely for about 2 weeks, but in that two weeks I became great friends with my father. He in fact replaced my imaginary friend by becoming my real friend.

Not a great situation to be in, but when a parent understands their child's need, and helps out - it truly made a great difference in my life. I hope this story will help your child too.

Good luck.

Answer 5

It really depends on how old the child is. Sometimes children do this because they have few friends or are going through a rough time. You may want to take them to a consular and see what they think. Saying their friend is not real can be a bad thing so you might not want to say that for due to damaging a childs hopes of having a real friend.

Answer 6

Get your own imaginary friend. Pretend along with your child. It would be great fun and help your child develope a great imagination.

Answer 7

i recently read in parenting magazine that a imaginary friend is fine for a child. No harm in having one and even small children do relies they are not real!. They are usually created by outgoing kids creative kids. You should not discourage this play friend it is not damaging to the child and helps them occupy there self's which is a good skill to have!

Answer 8

My experience with it is great. My brother (now 40 plus years old) had one and it did not hurt him. Besides, do you let your child watch tv? T V is imagination. Cartoons are imagination. I would suggest "play the game " with your child (but at the same time remind your child on occasion that this friend is just "play") Imagination is a great thing. All inventions come from imagination.

Answer 9

hang on let me ask mine......



ok he says "Let the kid be a kid till it gets out of hand. Its harmless for the most part. If they start blaming the imaginary friend for setting the house on fire...its time to talk"

Answer 10

this is just a part of growing up. plus it helps to expand their imagination. i don't think that there is anything wrong with this and they will eventually grow out of it, i've never heard of a grown up having an imaginary friend.