Proper way to discipline potty issues.?

Question

My almost 3 year old girl just started peeing in the potty and has done very well with it. She refuses to poop in it tho ! I am tired of having to change pullups because of poop !!!! I have tried bribery and promises. I've tried reasoning (which is impossible with one that young), I've tried yelling, sending to bed etc...HELP!!! I don't know what else to do ! Is this one of those instances where you just ignore it and she will grasp the concept on her own?

Answer 1

I had the same issue with my son when he wa spotty training. I didn't try to rush him. Try to understand that it is a process, and a complex thing for them to understand and learn.

After he was consistently using the potty to pee, we started giving treats. If he pooped he got a few Smarties (which to him are like gold, because he doesn't get alot of sweets). When he made a mess in his diaper, we told him babies poop in diapers, cleaned it up and continued.

After some time, a month or more, I decided to start using cloth underwear. Within 3 days he was completely trained. There were some messes, but it was by making those messes and learning how uncomfortable it was, that he learned to use the potty.

Whenever he used the potty he got huge praise.

Punishing is advised against for potty training in almost every resource I have ever read, or doctors or professionals I have spoken to. It's not about punishing and making them feel bad and ashamed. Rewards, and praise, and patience will help them gain confidence, learn self esteem and grasp the concept.

Hang in there, I know it can be frustrating!

Answer 2

Since she is doing well with peeing in the potty, maybe it's time to let her start wearing "big girl" underpants. There are 3 reasons for this: One is that when kids have accidents in pull-ups, it's not really that unpleasant. Because of all that absorbancy in the pull up, they don't feel the pee or poop like they would in underpants. When she experiences the unpleasant sensation of poopy underpants, she may be more motivated to do it in the potty. Another reason is that children are sometimes more inclined to "act big" when they are decked out in the "big kid" clothes. And thirdly, if your daughter chooses the underwear herself, she is likely to take pride in them and have interest in keeping them clean.
I would also suggest making a little chart for her. Since she is new to peeing on the pot, you probably still want to reward her for that, too. So try a system like 1 sticker for peeing in the pot and 3 stickers for pooping in the pot. When the chart is full, she gets some sort of small reward. Let her choose the stickers, and let her choose the reward from several alternatives that are acceptable to you.
Don't yell at her or punish her, because these are never as effective over the long haul as teaching her the right thing to do by reinforcing (rewarding) the correct behavior. At almost 3, it would be OK to have her help clean up her own mess, but not as punishment - just like, "Oops, you made a mess! When we make a mess, we have to clean it up."
And be patient. Remember that learning is a process, not an event. It takes some time, but once she starts being successful, she will quickly begin using the potty for pooping and soon be toilet trained.

Answer 3

First thing is don't punish her for not pooping in the potty. It'll only make it worse. Just sit her down and talk to her about it. Let her know big girls go poop in the potty. You could also use the " Barbie poops in the potty. don't you wanna be like barbie" or whatever shes into like Dora or whatever. it might help to let her see you go potty and see it's not such a big deal. My son did the same thing and it took him about 4 months to poop in the potty. We used stickers. Buy a inexpensive toilet seat and everytime she poops in the potty she can put a sticker on the toilet seat. I started with a few already on there. She will do it when she's ready you just can't push her. Everytime she uses the potty in her pull up let her know while you are changing her well mommy hoped you would go in the potty so can we try next time? Just reassure her that you are there for her. It's hard not to get upset on having to change the diapers when you know she can use the potty. But as you said she just started peeing in the potty pooping comes totally different. You can also check if she is constipated it may hurt her to go poop and that could be why. The best thing you can do is reassure her not discipline her. try this website www.americanbaby.com It's a great resource for information on kids. Good Luck but I'm sure she'll go when she is ready.

Answer 4

I don't have kids myself but my sister is potty training two young sons (aged 2 and 3) and the pull ups actually made it harder to train the older one. He wouldn't go to the bathroom til she put him in big boy underpants. He has had some accidents but overall bypassing the pull ups has helped more than hurt. She did have one episode where he refused to go potty and he purposely peed his pants so she let him wear them for about 15 minutes and when he complained about it being uncomfortable she sat him down and explained that was what would happen if he didn't use the potty like a big boy. He has had accidents but has not purposely done it since. She also took note of when his bowel movements were so that she could try and get him to the toilet in time.....plus she had the daycare try to make him sit on the toilet once every hour to get him to try and pee or poop just to help him understand his body better.

Answer 5

You are changing her and she is getting attention for this. Yelling, bribing, and rewards won't work. This is her issue. Try using a natural or logical consequence. First count out the remainder of the pull ups with her. Say "You have 7 more times to poop in your pull ups and then you get to use the toilet." When she runs out, put her in "big girl" underwear. If she soils herself, hold her responsible for the clean up. Say to her "It looks like you need to change." Give it no more attention than that. Don't help her! She can remove the soiled clothing, shake the poop in the toilet, rinse out her underwear, put them in the laundry, clean herself, and put on clean clothing. It will take a few tries but she will soon learn it is much easier to use the bathroom. Good luck!

Answer 6

My daughter did the same exact thing.

I know they say NOT to force the issue, but I was fed up by the time she was almost 3. So one day, when i saw the "poop" face she got just before she went, I grabbed her, put her on the seat and made her sit there.

After a few moments, she couldn't hold it anymore, and pooped. Then I let her up and she looked in the pot and said, "oh".

She pooped in the potty from that point on, and to all the naysayers, she is NOT anal retentive!!! LOL

Answer 7

Potty training is not a discipline issue. As tiring as it may be with messes and diapers now, have no fear - your daughter will not be 15 and still wearing diapers! :) If you're pushing, it may have become a power struggle for her that she's winning right now. Act like it's no big deal. Have her wear "real" underwear. Talk to her - maybe she's scared of pooping on the pot or something.

Answer 8

yes. give her some time. wait a week or two, try again. by do not get angry at her...for some reason pooping in a potty is scarier than just peeing. let her know every time you need to go potty and why.
i had success after telling my kids this:
trash goes in the trash can, dirty dishes go in the sink, dirty clothes go in the laundry basket, drinks go in a cup, etc.....and poop goes in the potty.

Answer 9

Yes. Also, a friend simply made her daughter change and clean herself. Oh sure, mom watched from the door at first, but once th daughter learned that she could save a lot of trouble by doing it in the potty, she went for it. Just a thought.

Answer 10

If you have a older girl cousin friend let her watch them going, I mean like 3-4year old. My youngest was trained by 18 months by watching her older sister. Fancy panties helped also. Good luck.