4 years is a bit of an age gap between two people. but we have admitted to liking each other quite a lot. but he is going off now, and plus, i cannot be sure he doesn't have another crush on someone his age.
can i really trust him? he has even suggested [lol] to wait until we're both older, when 4 years isn't a big difference anymore.
should i continue flirting shamelessly? or should i back off and act cold?
2006-08-12 07:46:05 · 10 answers · asked by Isabela 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
once ure in high school and he's in college then its a big difference,
but if ure both in college thats nothing.
2006-08-12 07:49:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Four years is hugh when you are teenagers. There is no need to act cold to him. Just let him know that while you find him immensely interesting, you feel that there would be problems due to the age difference at this time.
Learn at an early age not to play the head games that are prevalent among young women today. If you ever feel the need to cheat on the guy who is your boyfriend, then break up with him before taking any action with another guy. If something is bothering you, then open up to him. Watch how you word things when talking to a guy. They are just as hormonal as you are and things don't always come out the way you might have meant it. Just because they act like a tough guy does not mean that a thoughtless or callous remark from you won't cause mental/emotional scarring.
Flirting shamelessly is not a practice you should be proud of. There is an art to flirting, and it should be done with a touch of class and mystery. You should be choosey about whom you decide to bestow your arts upon.
While you may think the easy girls are the popular ones.... you should hear what the guys are saying when the girls are not around. I have gotten to listen to the guys convesations over the last 6 years via my two popular sons and their friends. The girls that they call the "village bicycles"... you know.... "everyone has ridden them!", They all say, yeah she is great for gettin' a little, but she sure isn't the one they would want for a real girlfriend.
Don't only check out the "cool" guys. Believe it or not, the "not quite so cute" guys, or the smart guys will treat you a whole lot better. It is much better to have a guys respect.
If you expect to be treated like a lady, you will be. That does not mean you act haughty, or rude... a real lady never deliberately attempts to hurt someone else... but, you are entitled to be treated with care and respect... But, give the guy the same treatment. Don't call him names in front of his friends. If you are having a disagreement, don't advertise it all over the place. Your personal business is between the two of you.
There is a certain wonderful power in being a woman. Be careful not to abuse it.
2006-08-12 08:14:15 · answer #2 · answered by diane_b_33594 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is a bit wide for teenagers. I am with my boyfriend and he is 5 years older than me, and I met him when I was 19. At the time I thought the age gap was a little too wide, but we worked it out. Teenagers, it's different. When you're in high school, it's different. High school life is sheltered. Once out of high school, many people find that there are many more opportunities for relationships and want to test the waters, you know? Not everyone, but enough do. I just depends on the couples.
I don't know if you can trust him, only YOU know that. Use your gut feelings, sister. I think it's commendable that he has asked you to wait until you guys are older instead of pressuring you to either do it now or not at all. My parents waited, since my dad was 3 years older when they were young, and they've been together literally forever since.
But flirting shamelessly? Um, I don't think that's good, nor do I think acting cold is. Just continue to be his friend till the end. He'll appreciate it and so will you, in the long run.
2006-08-12 07:56:31 · answer #3 · answered by Jonnae L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Four years is definately a big age gap when you're teenagers. I mean, if one person is 18 and the other 14, that's a rather considerable difference in maturity.
However, if you're both interested in each other, why not try dating and see if you guys can work it out? You just have to be sure to take it very slowly. Work on being friends first, so you can get a sense of how you guys would work as a couple. Be sure to talk lots. Make sure it's okay with both sets of parents and that you've explained that you'll be taking it slowly.
If you guys are really interested, you'll still be interested in a few years time, when the age difference isn't such a big issue. Don't get forced into doing anything you don't want to do (whether you're the younger or the older)
Good luck!
2006-08-12 07:52:46 · answer #4 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? If you are 14 and he is 18 then that is wrong for now anyways. but when you are 17 and he is 21 then that is a little different. If you are younger then 16 than you might just have to wait. Older men when you are the younger one can't really be trusted that much. He will say all the right things like he will wait for you and then the next he has a girlfriend or a girl buddy that he messes around with sexually. You just might have to find someone your own age.
2006-08-12 07:54:13 · answer #5 · answered by in LOVE with... 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a huge difference until you are both over 18. You can still be friends with him, meaning you don't have to act 'cold', but you certainly should not pursue anything. An 18 year old having sex with a 14 year old is not legal in most states, so it's best to put it off until you are both of legal age and closer to similar mental ages.
2006-08-12 07:51:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it depends. if it's 14 and 18- absolutely. I personally think it would be acceptable to date someone 4 years older than you when you are no younger than 18. He's trying to be mature if he's offering to wait. If if is meant to be, then it will happen... but why rush? see who else is out there first before you make him do something he doesn't want to do, or the other way around.
2006-08-12 07:51:37 · answer #7 · answered by Steffi . 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
4 years isn't really a long gap. i belive if you love the person stay with him!! but if you dont love him just back off! and a guy's mind can go off a little crazy when seein another person [including myself] so you can trust him or do not trust him. that's your instint.
2006-08-12 07:53:07 · answer #8 · answered by dnangel_89 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WELL ME AND MY BOYFRIEND HAS BEEN 2GETHER FOR 7 YEARS
WHEN WE HOOK I WAS 15 AND HE WAS 29 AND I BEEN WITH HIM SINCE.
I THINK YOU SHOULD NOT WAIT ON HIM THOUGH BECAUSE IT MIGHT BE SOMEONE OUT THERE BETTER FOR YOU.
PLUS HE MIGHT END UP SETTLING FOR SOMEONE WHILE
YOU WAITED THIS WHOLE TIME.
2006-08-12 07:55:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes HUGE difference in experience and maturity
2006-08-12 07:50:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋