I keep having nightmares and I want to tell her the truth that my husband started smoking again and I stumble.
2006-08-12 07:38:19 · 66 answers · asked by Island Girl 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes, lies are bad. Especiaaly lying to help hubby cover up breaking his word to his Mom, which I'm assuming is what's going on. If he told Mom he quit, but didn't, he should be adult enough to be honest to her, instead of letting you be in the position of being required to either lie, or betray hubby. A no win situation.
2006-08-12 09:29:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mother in law can make you feel a tad overwhelmed. You feel guilty for more than the lying though, for you to have nightmares, and that's why you want to tell her...even though you really don't think you should have to.
Unless your mother in law is financially supporting you guys, and she doesn't have an allergy to tobacco or something then there is no reason she needs to know yet that her son is smoking again. If she is supporting you financially it'd be alright to disclose his spending habit to her. Otherwise you're dramatizing things.
You never mentioned if your husband had asked you not to tell her.
Why do you really feel guilt?
Skipping the smoking lecture....
2006-08-19 22:44:44 · answer #2 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some mother in law are a pain in the backside the best of times!
They interfere with relationships and tidy up your house!
The smoking situation is between you and your husband and none of your mother in laws business!
Dont worry about it and rest easy and dont have nightmares there are worst things you could lie about and smoking isnt that bad really.
Just make sure your house smells fresh when in mother in law visits and tell your husband to smoke discreetly so she never finds out.
It is however better for him to quit for a healthy life and then you wouldnt have this problem.
2006-08-19 15:45:12 · answer #3 · answered by stevenjohnevans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all that is not the worst lie in the world. Second of all do u sleep with ur mother in law everynight? No matter what u have to stand by ur husbands side. Whether its lil lies or big ones. U have to be on his side. Just talk to ur hubby about how much it bothers u if u are having nightmares and maybe he will tell her the truth. Good luck.
2006-08-18 16:48:23 · answer #4 · answered by charmon5206 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is hard enough with out making an enemy out of someone who should be your strongest ally in the family you married into. Tell your husband that you wont lie for him, and will not stand by and watch him hurt her by lying to her. I must hurt you or why would you have nightmares? Actually , the fact that is that you must really love her and him for it to affect you so deeply. A mom is a mom, and it can make you feel better if you just take a big breath and tell the truth. Love means never asking you to keep a secret that hurts you.
2006-08-19 05:55:05 · answer #5 · answered by scornedgypsy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write her a letter. tell her first of all that she is a grandmother, no longer the new child's mom. As such she does not get to return to a decision what the new child is informed. it is not her decision whilst the new child learns the certainty approximately Santa, the the tooth Fairy, or the Easter Bunny. 2d, there are some truths approximately her son, because he's your ex, that she in all probability does not additionally be conscious of herself, or hasn't admitted, or a minimum of does not decide on the new child to learn. If she needs to attempt to poison the new child's strategies against the guy who is going to be her genuine daddy for the subsequent twelve years, then the new child will decide on the certainty in regards to the sperm donor besides. third, grandparents very not often win courtroom fights over their top to work out grandchildren. for my section, i could tell her she's seen the final of the new child, yet you may nicely be greater forgiving than i could be. Fourth and finally, everyone that volunteers to serve contained in the protection rigidity is a hero, no count number the place they're stationed or what their interest is, and everyone that doesn't think of so is the "depressing creature without possibility of ever being unfastened, until eventually made and saved so by utilising greater proper adult men than himself" that John Stuart Mill wrote approximately.
2016-09-29 04:54:29 · answer #6 · answered by boland 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow a backbone - your loyalty is to your husband. He's grown and can smoke if he wants. Don't get into it with the mother in law. Keep smiling and lying until she catches your husband and she'll give him heck for it if she dares.
Stay out of this.
2006-08-20 02:47:54 · answer #7 · answered by scarlettboca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you??? If you're an adult (which I hope you are seeing as you're married), make your own freaking decisions without fear of consequence from your mother-in-law! Do YOU think your husband should be smoking? If not, then tell him. If you don't care, then get over it. And the next time your mother-in-law asks, tell her it's none of her freaking business. Her son's a grown man and he makes his own decisions-be they idiotic ones or not.
2006-08-12 07:46:28 · answer #8 · answered by elk312 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the question is WHY, why do you want to tell your mother in law? I feel its none of her business and that smoking is a personal choice for everyone, but if it really bothers you and you re having nightmares by all means talk to hubby and try to encourage him to tell her. The ball is in HIS court.
2006-08-19 14:15:58 · answer #9 · answered by Pat M. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's yours and your husbands business about the smoking thing. Your Mother-in-law isn't stupid. Smoking smells and stinks and reaks in your clothing, in your home and car. It permeates thru your skin poors giving the person a stinky smell.
Why lie about the obvious.....
2006-08-18 23:11:33 · answer #10 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋