My mother has a looooooong history of severe depression, anxiety and now she suffers from significant dementia. We had not talked for years, but after she took a fall five months ago, I brought her to my home to live. (a moment of temporary insanity, I assure you) I thought a positive environment and proper medications she would be okay. She has turned my life upside down and my once happy home life is miserable. My husband has been a saint about this, but he doesn't deserve it.
She only has Social Security Income and I have an appointment to apply for medicaid. (I am new at all of this). She is as healthy as a horse other than the fact that she is a *@%# NUT. I do not want her here, I want her out! I know this sounds cold, but I have no affection for my mother. How do I get rid of her? Thanks for your answers
2006-08-12 07:13:24 · 6 answers · asked by Annie R 5 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Bless you for trying to take care of her. You say you have no affection for her, but you obviously do feel an obligation to her or you would not have brought her into your home. Taking care of someone with dementia is extremely difficult, but please remember, she didn't ask for this and cannot control her behavior.
Sounds like the best place for your mother is a nursing home. There are homes that do take people with only medicaid and will accept her if her medicaid is pending. You can get referrals from her physician or you can start making phone calls on your own. All nursing homes have an admissions department to help with the specifics. Just call them and tell them your situation and that you can no longer take care of your mother at home. They know what to do and will get the ball rolling for you.
It's difficult for an outsider to tell if a nursing home is good or not, but I would suggest visiting ones that you are interested in. Is it clean? Relatively odor free? Are the staff friendly? Do the residents seem to be well cared for? How does the staff treat you? Do they seem genuinely caring and compassionate and interested in helping? How long has their medical director been with them? How long have their key staff members been with them?
One of the biggest mistakes I've seen people make is thinking that just because a facility is new and modern, that the resident's get good care. But caring for the elderly and those with Alzheimer's or other dementias takes more than just a modern facility. It's the people working there who make a difference.
So please, start looking for a place for your mother ASAP. There are professionals out there trained to handle people with your mother's problems, so please realize you are not alone. I am a registered nurse who has worked in the same nursing home for almost 11 years now and would be happy to answer any questions you may have if you would like to e-mail me. Good luck to you and God bless!
2006-08-12 14:28:28 · answer #1 · answered by Christie K 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she is a danger to herself and/or others call 911. Make sure you can document her behavior. Next, if she will express thoughts of sucide that is a sure admittence ticket. Finally, you no obligation to provide her with anything UNLESS you are wealthy. The courts have held that children can be financially responsible only if it "does not create an undue hardship. Call your social service department for your state get nasty if you have to but tell them she has to go. You do not deserve this
2006-08-12 15:20:07 · answer #2 · answered by alcavy609 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a lot of questions and you need to provide more info
is she on medicare
could she be hospitalized
does she own a home
other assets?
youll have a hard time getting into a nursing home with just ss
nursing home if she cant perform the adls activities of daily living which include bathing eating toileting etc
youre about to embark on a long and perilous journey
id contact a good elder law atty but some homes have good social workers who can help
also in pa we have county offices of aging who can help a lot
good luck youre going to need it
2006-08-12 16:53:57 · answer #3 · answered by titanbooboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best bet would probably be to see if you can get her to a psychiatrist, or failing that, any MD, who may be able to take it from there. If she is really a danger and does something to endanger herself or you, you might want to try 911. Just thoughts.
2006-08-12 14:21:43 · answer #4 · answered by anon200808 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first you need to get a lawyer once you do that you ask to gain power of attorney over your mom then you go to court and ask them to have her committed someone or the athorities will go to her home and pick her up and place her in a mental health facility and make a diagnosis on her health
2006-08-12 14:37:15 · answer #5 · answered by oceanlady580 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can call a nursing home and tell them of your problem and they will handle the rest. if your mom has a house of her own, it will need to be sold inorder for her care to get paid for in a nursing home.
2006-08-12 14:23:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋