how do you explain to a kid they are a product of rape ?

Question

how do you explain to your child they are the result of a rape ?
she is mixed ( b/w ) but everyone else in the house is white we all love her ...i just wanted to get some ideas on how i tell her .... or do i even tell ?

Answer 1

Approach it from the angle of how special the child is to you, and what an angel she has been in your life, and you would not change having her for your daughter for anything else in the world. Discuss how unexpected things happen and how sometimes something really good comes out of something really bad. Ease into the rape explanation. God does work in mysterious ways and this precious child may be one of those ways. Make sure she is able to understand emotionally what you have to say. You should seek counseling and advice from a professional. You may both need some therapy together and separately. That's not a bad thing when you're trying to help your daughter deal with such information and you are acting out of pure love.

Answer 2

O.K. Well this is only my opinion, but if it was me, I would not want to know something like that, I don't feel that it would serve any good in telling her ever, at least not until she is an adult or she inquires about it again at an older age! Now I am not one for lying to children, but that is not something that she should have to think about for the rest of her life! It could completely ruin her self esteem and cause he psychological problems, with men especially!
She probably is just curious if you planned on having her or if she was an accident and even though none of my children were planned, what I told them was that I would not change a thing that I am very lucky to have them and that I love them very much!
Think about it this way, seriously, if your mother had ever said that to you, how would you have felt?
I truly think that if I were the result of my mother being raped, that I would never want to know!
I applaud you for keeping her and not aborting her! I believe that should be illegal and don't know how any one could kill an innocent little baby! Thank you for allowing her the chance to come into the world! Good luck and God bless!

Answer 3

well, at some point she's bound so ask why she looks different to the rest of yiz, so i guess you could explain to her that she originally had a nother daddy but not take it further than that. personally, i'd never tell her the full story unless she really presses you about it when she's much much older than now. it would traumatise her big time and put her on a huge guilt trip so be careful in the extreme. a person i know is the result of rape and has never really got over that piece of knowledge, it constantly threatens to ruin their life.

Answer 4

You should tell her. Just wait until she is old enought to understand. You should never lie to a child. She needs to know. How do you think she would feel if she found out from someone else. She needs to know from you! You just need to make sure she knows that you love her very much and nothing will change that!

Answer 5

Don't tell her. My parents never sat me down to tell me that I was the product of a night of candlelit lovemaking following dancing and tequila... in fact, I regret coming up with that mental image. Anyway, my point is: the circumstances of conception aren't an issue to any child, and you'd harm her by letting her know. Let her know that her biological father is a dangerous criminal when she wants to know about him, but under no circumstances tell her that she is the result and reminder of what I imagine was the worst experience of your life.

Answer 6

Now is not the time. I dont think that it is a good thing to tell children. Dont lie to her, but wait until she is old enough to deal with it and understand. Until then, love her unconditionally and make sure she knows you are there for her so when you do tell her later in life she will be emotionally prepared.

Answer 7

I don't know how old she is, but I think it is too difficult a concept for a child to understand. Especially if they aren't old enough to understand the concept of intercourse. If she is old enough, and is asking a lot of questions about why she is different, explain to her as simplistically as possible for now. That's just my opinion though. It is a tough situation you are in.

Answer 8

You don't - that would be very wrong. No child needs to hear that, even though you went through a horrific experience. Bless you for bearing her, though, she is a sweet innocent and I'm sure she'll have all the best of you. If you need help, seek out a counsellor for you to deal with it all, but don't put it on your daughter.

Answer 9

My heart goes out to you both,but if you don't tell her someone else might!!! just wait until you feel it is right for her to know.. This is a sad situtation and the child suffers the most.. God be with you both....

Answer 10

Please don't tell her, why would you want to put your child through the pain of having to know that she is a product of aggression and abuse. You love her as she is and as for answering the question of why am I darker than you, turn a negative story into a passionate story that will not harm her in anyway.