the best joke gets the points???

Answer 1

A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady's teeth & noticed that she was little nervous, so he began to tell her a story as he was putting on his surgical gloves...
"Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?"
She said, "No."
"Well", he spoofed, "down in Mexico they have this big building set up With a large tank of latex and the workers are all picked according to Hand size. Each individual walks up to the tank, dips their hands in, and then walk around for a bit while the latex sets up and dries right Onto their hands! Then they peel off the gloves and throw them into the Big 'Finished Goods Crate' and start the process all over again."
And she didn't laugh a bit!!!
Five minutes later, during the procedure, he had to stop cleaning her Teeth because she burst out laughing.
The old woman blushed and Exclaimed, "I just suddenly thought about how they must make condoms!"

Answer 2

FINALLY...THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.

She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop"

Answer 3

An aid came into the Oval Office and reported to the president that terrorists just killed 2 Brazilian humanitarian workers."
The president put his head in his hands and said, Oh that's terrible. What a tragedy." Then he looked at the aid and asked, "By the way, remind me again , how many are in a Brazilian?"

Answer 4

While I was "flying" down the road yesterday (i.e., 10 mph over the limit), I passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The cop was stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 foot wide."

And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?"

To which I politely replied,
"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge....."

Traffic Ticket: $255.00 / Court Costs: $50.00
The Look on that Cop's Face: PRICELESS!!!

Answer 5

(yes i know u cant throw something out an airplane window and yes u cant take a bite out of a grande but just stick with the big picture)Once there was a brunette lady, a red head lady, and a brunette man on an air plane. The Brunette took a bite out of an apple, but she thought it was too sweet so she threw it out the window.Then the red head took a bite out of a lemon but she thought it was too sour so she threw it out the window.Then the Brunett man took a bite out of a granade, he thought it was too crunchy so he threw it out the window.When they landed they decided to go for a short walk.When they came upon a little boy crying they said:little boy, little boy, what's the matter? The little boy said an apple came from the sky and killed my new puppy! They continued walking past the little boy. Then they came up to a little girl crying, so again they said:little girl, little girl, what happened? The little girl replied: A lemon came down from the sky and killed my new kitty! They continued walking passed the little girl. When they came upon a dumb blond laughing her ass of they said: Miss,Miss, what is so funny? The blond replied: I farted and the building behind me blew up!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Nope,I Already Get 2-Points Anyway.

Answer 7

A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth.
A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, saying, "Can I help you sir?""
"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my car," the man replies.
The cop asks "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss on the end of thisshh key," the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's wiener is
hanging out of his fly for the entire world to see.
He asks the man, "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat,blurt out.....
"I'll be damned ----- My girlfriend's gone, too!!

Answer 8

Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?"
The barman said, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walked over and said, "Hello. What are you guys doing?"

Bush said, "We're planning World War III."

The guy asked, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush said, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle repairman."

The guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"

Bush turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Afghans!"

Answer 9

You aren't really going to give the points, are you?

You will just leave it up to the voters to decide.

Right???

Answer 10

your mama is so stupid when she was going to Disney land she saw a sign that said Disney land left so she turned around and went home