okay for starters i have 4 kids and the youngest 2 i am having trouble getting them to bed the oldest (10)of them has a sleep disorder (night terrors and he needs meds to sleep or he wont sleep) he suffers seperation anxiety bad.well i had succeeded in getting him to sleep in his room and bed then we moved a yr ago into a house where everything was on one floor and he could see me from his bedroom ( so he knew i was there ) well in june of this year we moved again( had to the other house was sub standard) and now the bedrooms are up stiars and he dont see me when he goes to bed and he keeps getting out of bed and coming downstairs he is now at the point where he wont go to bed unless i am upstairs and he sleeps on the love seat in my bedroom.the other is my lil girl who is 3 i cant get her to stay in her room and i am dealing with the other that i am having trouble doing this i am single so have no help,and i cant seem to remember how i did it before when it worked
2006-08-12 05:02:56 · 21 answers · asked by blackfoot124 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i read them a story everynight the 10 yr old is a light sleeper he knows the minute i leave the room i have tried the piture of me to hold and i have sat with them and left when he fell asleep he instantly sat up i get the 10 yr old medical treatment becuase he is autistic( high functioning ) and he is also on all kinds of meds) the 3 yr old there is a door to her room she opens it up and comes right out and she can climb over gates or she is smart enough to take them down
2006-08-12 05:10:32 · update #1
What a challenge you have on your hands! It sounds like you may have inadvertently made life hard on yourself. With most autistic children, even high functioning, routine is key (as I'm sure you know). This is also really the key for your other children as well. Decide on an exact routine that will work well for your family. Keep the TV off after dinner as it is just more likely to rile up the kids. Reading is a great idea to help calm things down. Make sure that your routine covers common excuses like the need to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water. And don't fall for the "I'm hungry" routine. If they had a good dinner then there is no need to worry that they'll starve overnight! Before you start a new, regular routine, sit down with the kids and discuss the new bedtime rules. Write them down and post them in the kitchen or another place where you all are likely to be together. For the first week or two, tell them the bedtime expectations every night at dinner or shortly before the routine begins. Then, be extremely consistent. Do not give in to crying or tantrums. Every time a child is out of bed, send them back. The first time, tell them it's time for bed and you can't talk to them now. After that, just put them back to bed without a word or just saying "bedtime." When you tuck them in, you don't need to do the kiss and hug part. You've done that already at the "real" bedtime. Stay calm and cool about it. Don't yell or let them being upset rub off on you. Your example will help them see how to behave at bedtime. They will get the idea sooner than you think, but they will test you to make sure you really mean it. Something else you might try, especially with the 10 year old is putting a white noise machine, a fan, or stereo/boom box with soothing music (try Enya or classical) in their rooms. The steady noise will help them fall asleep and stay asleep and you won't feel like you need to tiptoe out of the room or past the door to their rooms. The key is to be very routine and very consistent. You may be in for a week or two of misery (tantrum throwing, attempts to argue with you, and numerous times of sending them back to bed) as you institute the new rules, but if you can stick with it you will be rewarded with a bed time routine that works and some nice, quiet time for yourself in the evenings. (Which sounds well deserved!) Start bedtime as early as you like. It's perfectly reasonable for a 10-yr-old to be in bed by 8:30pm and the younger ones as early as 7:00pm. It may sound really early, but kids at those ages need 12 hours of sleep. Also, if the youngest one is still napping, you can shorten or cut out the naps completely and that will ensure that she will be tired at bedtime. Best of luck--you can do it!
2006-08-12 18:01:31 · answer #1 · answered by mead 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a 3 year old and a 17 month old daughter, i have just established the same routine's for them, they are quite fine in the room together.. i say if it ain't broke don't fix it lol. Getting them to learn how to sleep even when there ARE interruptions or problems will be better for them in the long run because there may be one here and there in the furture for them, say thunderstorms... if they can sleep through eachother waking up and being loud then chances are they will be able to sleep through a thunderstorm and not wake up screaming because they are so scared.. hopefully atleast :)
2016-03-16 21:40:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
With all the younger ones it will take consistensy. (punishment for getting up, or reward for staying in their room) You'll have to do it EVERY time, though, or they'll know your bluffing. With the older one, I would be afraid to try that w/out medical advice since he has problems. Talk to a pediatrician, or even a social worker. Good luck, I'm a mom of 4 myself!
2006-08-12 05:14:13 · answer #3 · answered by Jenintn 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All kids are different. What worked before on one may not work on another. Seeing that the ten year old has a sleeping disorder changes things a little for one. Positve reinforcement (rewards for good behavior) works pretty good in training anything and anyone to the point where the wanted behavior will most likely stay longer than when using negative reinforcement.
Try using logic reasoning in a conversation during the day with the 3 year old and ten year old. Ask them why they don't like sleeping alone and then dispell their fears with reality. They can only agree and laugh at their fears during the day. Point out that other children have no problem sleeping alone and staying in their room. During the times they do it tell them how brave they are. When they are having the trouble remind them of what they agreed upon when you had the logical conversation during the day.
2006-08-12 05:04:46 · answer #4 · answered by madbaldscotsman 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I will leave the 10 year old out of this answer. As for the other kids who's in charge? You or them. I don't have this problem in my house because my kids don't even try me.
2006-08-12 05:19:50 · answer #5 · answered by frederick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad, I have never mastered that either. I'm a single mom too. What I've done for years is just have my kids sleep with me. They are 9 and 6 now. We all just sleep together in my bed. I don't have a man around, so that's not an issue. It might not be the greatest arrangement, but they keep running out of the rooms all night if I don't have them in with me. I kinda gave up on trying to get them to sleep on their own, I need sleep myself, have to get up for work early am. I figure they'll eventually outgrow it on their own.
2006-08-12 05:09:59 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all I'm a married father of 4 and I don't know how you do that all by yourself. That in itself is commendable. We have problems with our boys now 3 and 1 1/2 and it started with them at a year old, they wake up all night freaking out and will do this all night if my wife doesn't stay in the living room on the couch with them. I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you, just give them lots of love, eliminate as much as possible the stress around them, believe me even if its not directed at them they feel it, and try to keep things as routine as possible, kids need to be able to predict whats coming next. I wish I had more of an answer for you, maybe if you remember what you did when it worked you could pass it on to us, I know my wife would love to get back in bed! Good Luck.
2006-08-12 05:16:09 · answer #7 · answered by Andrew G 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1) Get the 10 year old some counseling and medical attention, he is in need of it.
2) Spare the rod, spoil the child.
2006-08-12 05:05:49 · answer #8 · answered by Physh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
basically, you just have to be firm. It sounds like you are going to have to be extra firm with the little ones, because they are not old enough to understand, that the 10yr old is not getting special attention. They see him getting to stay up and out of his room, and figure that they can also. It is hard, and there will probably be many tears, but it can be done. Maybe a night light and a comforting picture of you on the night stand would help your oldest. I haven't had any experience with real sleep disorders, just "I'm thirsty", and " I'm not sleepy yet". Perhaps you could try about.com. They have lots of really useful info.
2006-08-12 05:08:51 · answer #9 · answered by kevin m 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
go in thier bed and read a story than stay whan they go to sleep gust queltily go out of ther room
2006-08-12 05:05:39 · answer #10 · answered by hivi f 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
your best investment.. a TV it keeps my kids in bed and asleep it's like a sedative.. I have one too as long as it's on I stay asleep and in bed.. turn that sucker off and 10 seconds later Im awake
2006-08-12 05:06:18 · answer #11 · answered by waiting4myredemption 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋