My friend is 17 years old and she just found out that the man she's thought was her father may not be.He has always been in her life and taken good care of her like a dad is soppose to.She doesn't know whether she wants to know if he's her real father or not.If it were you what would you do??
2006-08-12 04:54:34 · 20 answers · asked by DiamondXxx 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
well i wud like to know my 'birth' father, but still remember that the one who brought me up is my 'real' dad, whos always been there for me. If she likes the way things are now, she shudnt change it, just try and forget. i know that it sounds hard, but she may even try! and if she doesnt, wwhen curiosity wins over her, she should meet him, but ALWAYS remember the real dad. maybe she will have 2 great guys looking over her back for her as her father, and always at least 1.
I wish her good luck!
2006-08-12 05:19:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is her real father, just possibly not her biological father. Her finding out if he is or isn't her biological father doesn't have to take away her love for him. And who knows, maybe in time, depending on the situation of the "other" guy she might end up with 2 great guys in her life who love her.
I would want to know. My curiosity would get the best of me. But it wouldn't change how I felt about my dad.
2006-08-12 05:05:49 · answer #2 · answered by ~*~Lynda~*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell me: would it make a difference whether the man who's raised her and taken care of her for seventeen years is her biological father or not? I remember a friend of mine in Florida who didn't learn who her biological father was until she was in her late 20s (for that matter, he didn't know of Carlynn as his daughter until a chance question to her mother for medical reasons). Anyway, Carlynn's mother had long since married another man, and she never knew the difference that the father who'd raised her and loved her, biologically, wasn't.
Would knowing whether the man your friend calls "dad" IS her biological dad make a difference? Barring a threat to her life where her bloodline would have to be traced, I'd say no. Fatherhood is a quality of one's soul and a choice one makes for a child's sake, not a byproduct of biology. For instance, I have a 14-year-old nephew whose father has next to nothing to do with him; while those male adults in his life aren't his father (primarily his grandfather, me his uncle, and his other uncle Allan who's got two kids of his own), I think we're all cognizant of our roles (at least I am) as models for his own life -- ultimately, how a man really acts with others. And your friend doesn't have to have developed from the sperm of the man she calls dad to appreciate the love and care that he's shown her. So he's dad.
I pray this helps. Have a terrific day!
2006-08-12 05:08:42 · answer #3 · answered by ensign183 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course she has the right to know, I don't think the man intends to keep it under wraps forever, he's just waiting for the correct time to tell. And who knows, maybe it's all her imagination.
If I were her I would wait till the time is right and shoot the question, in a tactful manner. But no matter what happens, I would still love the man who brought me up. I mean, it's only human nature to want to know about their roots.
Anyway, me and my half-sisters share different fathers but they still love my father all the same because he raised them, so it's ok.
:)
2006-08-12 05:03:33 · answer #4 · answered by Forest_aude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad was practically non existent in our lives growing up, but he was our dad and we did love him. So my sister found out that she has a different father than me and was really upset for awhile. She has never tried to find him but has confronted our mom (who handled it badly) and found out that he is a violent person who tried to beat us all. So your friend needs to talk to her parents and do some soul searching and maybe pray before making any choices. She must be realistic about what she will find if she goes looking for him and tell that she is lucky to have a father who loves her and has always been there for her.
2006-08-12 07:34:59 · answer #5 · answered by Silly Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy. Whether or not he's her biological father, he's the one who raised her and treats her like his own. I may want to know for medical history/reasons but other than that I would consider him my loving father no matter what.
2006-08-12 05:08:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say trhat the man who brought her up, who fed her, schooled her, played with her, nurtured her and loved her, IS her father. The biological father who is not around is no father at all. If she is curious she can take a DNA test but whatever the result I would say the man who she has called father all her life is truly her father.
2006-08-12 05:07:34 · answer #7 · answered by malcy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa!!! She does have a "real" dad. If he didn't actually father her, so what? As for what she should do- I can understand her questions. She should be told facts. But, no matter what she finds out about the parantage, he IS her dad.
2006-08-12 06:10:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad always told me that the person that is there and experiences life with you is your father. He is my real father but my sisters stepfather and he doesn't believe in stepfathers or play dads. He always made it known that he is our real dads and he loves us all the same. Tell your friend she does know her real dad, it is the man she lives with.
2006-08-12 05:08:01 · answer #9 · answered by Miss. Tee98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She already knows her real father, that is the man who has been by her side caring for her. The other guy is just the sperm donor.
2006-08-12 06:08:57 · answer #10 · answered by latingirl0527 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋