What are the downfalls of 8 year old son sleeping with mother?

Question

It is not me. For the record....

Answer 1

First of all, I DID read the part about it not being you, so I won't say you and your son.

I am not an expert, I am sure you can find many articles about this, but from common sense: WHY in the world would anyone sleep with and 8 year old boy? Why isn't he in his own bed? What 8 year old would even agree to sleep with his mother. This is soooooo wrong.

Answer 2

If it's on a regular basis, I think you are setting both yourself AND your son up for problems down the road.

Sleeping in their own bed, or away from their parents, is an important step in teaching a child the beginning of independence. That said, is something (or someone) scaring your child? I would strongly suggest talking with your child about the sleeping alone issue. It may be something as simple as he's seen a movie that scared the crap out of him. You won't know until you ask though.

Answer 3

Very bad on the mothers part for one, to do for her son. Kinda sick actually. Any mom would want her son to be weened of that by at least three years old, except in the case where he had a nightmare, and even then, the child should be assurred all will be alright. This is very unhealthy and the mother who encourages it, needs counceling...it might lead to something else, sad to say if it hasn't already

Answer 4

Ummmmm....what is she gonna do when he's a teenager still sleeping with his mother? He's not gonna have a very strong sense of security if she needs him to depend on her so much at age 8. I can understand wanting to be a good mother and allowing the child to sleep with her until about age 2 or 3, but 8!!! He's gonna become so dependent on her, he'll be one of those who still lives with momma at 40! She needs to let him sleep alone, and deal with it accordingly, but now she's hurting more than helping...

Answer 5

Well, first of all, unless it's an emergency like a sick child that needs constant supervision, this is not a good idea. Also, I'd wonder why the mom allows this? Secondly is this a case where the son wants this or just the mom.

If the son looks like he's not that thrilled but the mom is pushing for this, I'd be very concerned!!!

Answer 6

We have two boys 7 and 8. They both sleep in the bed with my wife or I whenever they want. Especially when one of us is away on business or something.
I would say they sleep alone about 80% of the time.

They still fight, play sports and fight.
They don't seem emasculated by it.

I don't see any downfalls.
But would be worried if they never wanted to sleep alone.

I am astonished people are saying its sick.
Maybe they are young adults who still remember their confused teenage view of their parents. One day they will figure out that their parents are just like them except molded by the fact they spent the last 15 years or more focusing on their kids.

Answer 7

If it is forced and the boy has no place of his own to sleep, that is creepy. If it is occasional, it is another. There are many mornings that I wake up with all four kids in my bed (girls 10 and 8 and boys 3 and 2 - also with one due on October). Why? Different reasons, from dreams to just wanting to snuggle. After all, we are a family, and there is nothing wrong with normal family snuggling. It is, though, their choice and need, not mine, when it does happen.

Answer 8

Please do no longer enable this injury you, yet you will desire to pay attention: mothers have an quite problematic time letting circulate of their sons, distinctly whilst a son starts residing with a woman or gets married. the mummy consistently feels disregarded and that's what you sense now. After a son leaves domicile to stay with yet another women folk, the mummy HAS to enable circulate. sometime he will start up paying greater interest to you returned alongside with traveling on the vacations. in case you may no longer get previous this, you need to communicate with a psychiatrist to work out the thank you to deal with your emotions. Your son is in no risk from this lady.

Answer 9

well, for one thing, it is not healthy, mentally for your son. check out Oedipus complex....secondly, when you want to stop him from sleeping with you, you are going to have your hands full of rebellion. Also, it causes an insecurity and dependent problem with your son. There are NO benefits to you or your son in allowing this to continue.

Answer 10

Mother is the best judge. "When it comes to mother-infant attachment your instincts should be followed above the advice of anyone else. The other person has no biological attachment to your infant."

Should we let our child sleep in our bed? Not long ago most child-care experts would have answered with an emphatic "No!" and maybe even "Under no circumstances." Now the answer is more often "Do what feels right for your family." There are a growing number of experts who are telling mothers that they can do what they feel is right for their children without fear of "ruining" them! This includes co-sleeping, also called shared sleep or the family bed. Noted child-care expert T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., reconsidered his ideas about co-sleeping after hearing from parents on the issue. In a June 1979 article in Redbook he said, "When I advised against bringing children into their parents' bed in an earlier article, I received many letters from parents who felt that sleeping alone is a custom our society unreasonably demands of its small children. I was impressed and have learned a great deal from the letters that expressed this point of view. I hadn't realized how many parents did NOT believe in helping a child learn to sleep alone at night. Their letters and their arguments made me reevaluate my rather rigid ideas on handling sleep problems in our culture."

If you share your bed with your children you are not alone. Surveys show that 25 to 30 percent of American parents routinely let their children sleep with them, either for part or all of the night. The United States is one of the few countries that has a cultural bias against parents sharing a bed with their children. It was a common tradition in the U.S. until the twentieth century when child-care experts began warning parents that they must teach their children to sleep alone or create psychological scars. It continues to be a common tradition in many other cultures and not just because of limited space. It is common in Japan, for example, where they emphasize the nurturing aspects of family life. Parents don't sleep alone, most people do not like sleeping alone, why would a baby?

The issue of independence is usually linked with co-sleeping. Our society has a reverence for independence and many people feel that the earlier it is achieved the better. However, the recommendation that children sleep alone because "it promotes independence" is based on cultural preferences, not on scientific evidence. Dr. James McKenna, Ph.D. (professor of anthropology and adjunct assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Neurology at the University of California's Irvine School of Medicine) states that there is no scientific backing to the ideas that co-sleeping causes prolonged infant dependency or psychological damage to the baby. In fact, he notes that there have been no scientific studies on the pros or cons of solitary sleeping. Many parents feel that it actually promotes independence by giving the child strong feelings of security. William Sears, M.D., is a pediatrician, co-sleeping father of 8, and an advocate of attachment parenting (and does not hesitate to state his belief that full-time mothering is better for babies). In his book "Nighttime Parenting: How to Get Your Baby and Child to Sleep" he states that co-sleeping does not encourage dependency. "Children reach the stage of independence when they are ready. It is the parents job to provide a secure environment which allows a child's independence to develop naturally."