How do I wean my daughter?

Question

My daughter is 26 months old and still has her binki. (plug whatever you call it) I tried weaning her from it a little bit before she turned two, but I was on bed rest because I went into pre-term labor and so we had family staying with us to help out. When we wouldn't give it to her she would start bitting her hand. I've had the second kid (8 weeks ago) and she still bites her hand. What do I do? If she is playing and occupied she forgets about it but as soon as she gets bored or tired she throws a fit for it. (so she mainly has it for nap time and bedtime) but I want to get rid of it all together. ADVISE PLEASE??? and I don't want any she's way to old for it I know that I am just worried about her bitting her hands if she doesn't get it.

Answer 1

I disagree that you need to wean her from it or that she's way too old for it. By whose standards? What difference does it make if she uses it to comfort herself so she can take a nap or go to sleep at night? The essential issue here is that she is using it because it makes her feel calmer and more secure. Think about what her life has been like the last several months. Mommy was sick in bed and other relatives who don't usually live here are staying here now. She certainly picked up on the undercurrents of tension and nervousness, and having Mommy in bed instead of playing with her and caring for her had to be terribly upsetting and confusing to her, no matter how the situation was explained to her. And now she has a sibling, which changes her world in a big way. All of a sudden, she has to share the attention of Mommy and Daddy and everyone else. If the baby cries, Mommy has to immediately attend to it, and everyone is making a big fuss over the baby. No matter how much you are telling her that she's a big girl and your big helper and you will always love her, she knows that things are changed forever. Changes are hard for adults, and we have life experience to guide us. It's much harder for such a young child.
It's not at all uncommon for toddlers to want to be babies again when they have newborn siblings. Make sure that your daughter is getting her cuddle time with you. She needs extra reassurance, and at age 2, words are not enough. Sometimes children who are toilet trained will even regress and start having "accidents" when they have a newborn sibling. It's just part of their psychological adjustment, and they soon get over it.
The reason your daughter is biting her hand is because she is angry and frustrated and doesn't have the words to communicate it.
Let the weaning be gradual. Since it's already just when she is tired, she's already in the process. Try taking her - just her, if you can, and not the baby - on a special shopping trip and let her pick out a special new "lovey" - something that she can cuddle with at the times she is using the binki. It may be a special blanket or a stuffed toy, but it should be something soft and cozy, that feels good when she touches it and that is safe for her to put into her mouth if she wants to. Whenever she wants the binki, give it to her along with the new lovey, and give her encouragment for using the lovey ("Ooh, that new blanket feels so soft, doesn't it? You really picked out a good one! It makes you feel warm and cozy, doesn't it?" etc.) Don't even mention the binki - just keep talking up the new lovey. After awhile she will be able to give up the binky because the lovey will give her the comfort she needs. Just be patient with her. There is no set timetable for when a child gives up the binki, and if other people are making comments about it, just ignore them.

Answer 2

Offering the child the opportunity to trade in the pacifiers for a big-boy or big-girl toy, or dipping the pacifiers in something that just doesn't taste so great, such as pickle juice, so kids will look forward to them less.

The problem that you have now is your child associates her pacifier with falling asleep.

You can break this association, and I would do it abruptly, rather than try to limit the time she is using the pacifier. You'll have two or three bad nights, and then the whole thing will be over. I recommend that you pick a date, and tell your child that she is going to stop using the pacifier because she is a "big girl" now. Remind her a couple of days beforehand, and again the day before.

You should then go to get some predetermined "reward" (a new older kid toy, a special outfit, etc.). Most two or three year olds will go along with all of this pretty well.

Answer 3

She won't bite hard enough to hurt herself, so try not to be too concerned about that.
I haven't any experience with this but I'll give you a couple of methods that I have heard about:
- Cut a small bit from the end and she'll discover that it doesn't work properly. When she tells you that it's broken, ask her what you think you should do with it, and if you get no answer, explain that broken things go in the bin.
-You could ask her to post her dummy to someone special, so that they can give it to another little girl who needs it. Just warn who ever you post it to that it is coming so that they don't think they are getting bizzare things in the post for no reason.
-try setting up a sticker chart, give her a sticker for every time that she doesn't ask for it, and but her a special 'big girls treat' after she has got a certain number of stickers, say 5 or 10, you choose the number.

Above all, be consistent with not giving it to her because you don't want to give her mixed messages.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about her biting her hand. Toddlers that age know what hurts, and they aren't going to WILLINGLY put themselves in pain. Therefore, she's not biting hard enough to hurt herself. She's merely using it as another means of comfort, having something in her mouth. What I would say to do is when you see her biting her hand, give her something else to love, like a blankie or stuffed animal that is safe for her to suck on. It will ease her off the binkie and also give her a comfort tool.

Answer 5

Becouse you have showed her that if she bites herself you will give in she will use this evrytime. and i had a similar problem but my duather would not bite she just thruogh fits. i just got tired of them i told her she was a big girl now and that it's time to let go.

But since you have a baby it is better if you talk to her and let her know she is the big sister and that she is not a baby anymore but you still love her.

and throw it away and let her throw a fit the most it will ast is a couple of days or so . my dauther it took a week before she relised that it was not happening. i know you just had a baby and you have had complications but if you want her off of it just throw it all it's really the only quik and easy way.

Answer 6

do not attempt to pass chilly turkey. What has labored for me is weaning one feeding at a time. you may reduce at the same time as she nurses. For starters, do once once you get residing house and then back previously mattress. enable her nurse purely once at evening. the different time she wakes up, both you or your husband might want to upward thrust up and carry her. supply her a sippy cup of milk, if she asks to nurse. ultimately, she might want to evoke a lot less. Then, eliminate yet another feeding about each and every 2 weeks. enable her comprehend that you in hardship-free words nurse at particular cases. change milk and more than a number of hugs. first component contained in the morning, I enable my son sit down on my lap, and that i gave him milk in his cup. ultimately, she will be in a position to be weaned.

Answer 7

I don't think she will bite herself too bad, and it is her way of getting what she wants. The best way to get rid of her paci, is to go cold turkey,and get them all out of the house. If you still have them in the house, then you will be tempted to give in to her, especially since you will be tired with the new baby. Just do it! You daughter will be fine in about a week!

Answer 8

Just take the pacifier away. No giving it sometimes..you need to be consistent . Tell her that the pacifier fairy is coming to get the pacifiers. Good way to just have them gone.

Answer 9

take all her plugs and throw them away so that she can see they are gone, then she will have to accept that she has no more binky. She'll cry, but soon she won't even miss it.