My dad is getting married soon with this girl who is 12 years younger than him, before she and i wer good frends but after the secret trip he took with her( they didnt tell me only my other sister), which eventually i found out, I got all suspicious and wondered why they didnt tell me nor my sister and when they came back they acted like they didnt even left the house now im really pissed with both of them i dont even talk infront of them, well only my dad because he might get suspicious and he might get mad at me for acting like that.... But it really hurted me that both of them are secretly running off together to some other city far from ours and they didnt even care what me and my sister would feel... I guess they dont ever want us to know......
2006-08-12 03:20:50 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oh , I'm so sorry...I can't understand why people do this sort of thing. It's not right.Please know it's NOT ur fault.
2006-08-12 03:23:31 · answer #1 · answered by ur_4eva_amiga 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I get the feeling that the issue is not so much that you dislike the girl your Dad is marrying, but that you feel left out of his life. I think you should sit down with him and discuss how you feel. Tell him that you are happy that he has found someone who loves him, but that you still love him too and you need for him to include you and your sister in his life. Just be very respectful of his decision to get married and of his feelings. When you are talking to him, be sure to choose your words carefully so you don't sound like you are attacking him. Keep it focused, not on what you feel he has done wrong, but how you feel. You can also try talking to your Dad's girlfriend. Just tell her that you like her and you want to be her friend, but you want to make sure that you will all be a family and no one will be excluded from your father's life. I hope this helps and I hope it all works out for you.
2006-08-12 03:39:03 · answer #2 · answered by purple4k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it was right to "sneak" away on you and then come back and act like nothing happened! But, I do think they have a right to "go" away! Are you feeling a little bit "jealous" that your dad took her and didn't take you? That's a natural feeling? He's spending time with her, that you think he should be spendng with you! Maybe he knew that "you" would be hurt if they "told" you you were going away? What they weren't thinking was how much more "hurt you would feel if they didn't tell you and you found out! Bad choice! Let your dad know the next time he wants to go away with her to tell you first and that they don't have to sneak! if you want more "dad" time let him know that too! Talk to your dad, I hope this helps!
2006-08-12 03:37:15 · answer #3 · answered by noditz57 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a talk with your Dad and tell him how you feel. Good Luck. The age difference is not a good thing. Men get older and can't handle a younger woman. Try to make the best of it. You need to so you own thing with your friends and be happy for you. Don't let it get you blue..
2006-08-12 03:25:06 · answer #4 · answered by Patty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your dad is looking for happiness and love, o you want to deny him of those because of the age of the girl. my parents have a 10 year gap in age and have been married for 57 years and are extremely happy.
i can understand you not wanting to accept having a step mom that was your friend. personally i think its crazy to stop liking her because she is going to marry your dad. you apparently already had a good friendship and you should continue that friendship.
you can be upset with your dad for keeping it a secret but you aren.t his parent and he has a right to some privacy.
wish him and her the best and help them by being supportive.
what are you going to do if you meet someone and fall in love and then learn they are 12 years older then you? would you walk away from the relationship?
2006-08-12 03:31:43 · answer #5 · answered by eaglerock60 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry your dad should have been truthful with you from the start. I don't understand parents who want to hide stuff from their kids, but then want their kids to be honest with them. Don't hide the fact that you are angry from your dad. Let him know exactly how you feel, how can he understand if you don't tell him. You need to get things out in the open and the two of you need to have a serious talk about how you are feeling.
2006-08-12 06:52:10 · answer #6 · answered by latingirl0527 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here' the deal. Your dad has the right to love and be loved. His girlfriend's age is irrelevent. They probably hid the relationship because they knew you weren't going to be open to it. You have a life of your own, don't you want your dad to be happy too? Your emotions are about you and your insecurity about something. I suggest that you consider what that may be about and then be happy that your father has found love in his life. There are many who never do.
2006-08-12 03:28:29 · answer #7 · answered by D M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him about it and than tell him that your happy for him.
Don't worry you don't need to accept her as a Mother at all.
your father is not doing this to hurt you but to get to know younger people and if he told you that he had a thing for her...Woun't you feak and tell him too leave ur friend alone...coz ur her Friend.
Don't blame ur friend she didn't know ur dad was a really nice guy and she had a thing for him.
Even if this makes u feel sick and fed up, you have too live with the fact that there in love.
Look at this way, at least i am happy..and he is afterall ur father.
Show u care but need in to get in their lives ok.
ok bye and GOOD LUCK!!!!
2006-08-12 03:40:14 · answer #8 · answered by *~`h!8@Q 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you sweetie? Just be happy for your dad... I am sure he didn't do it to hurt you in any way.. He just needed time to see where this relationship with her would go... He love's you and wants the best for you... SO be happy for him, and be kind to his new wife... Family is so important.. Maybe you should try talking to him, and letting him know that it hurt him the way he went about the whole thing... I am sure he will understand.
2006-08-12 03:28:53 · answer #9 · answered by Funny Lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming you're an adult or close to that age, so I think maybe you should understand that your Dad may really love this girl. I DO think it was wrong of them for not telling you.
Just talk to him and say that you didn't like how he's keepin' this a secret from you. Maybe he can explain why he's being like this.
2006-08-12 03:27:07 · answer #10 · answered by sweetdollツ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit and have a talk with your dad. tell him that if all four of you are going to be a family soon, you all need to start acting like one. and that includes them (the adults) telling you all (the kids) that they are leaving on a trip. for them to not tell you is just plain childish. perhaps he has a valid reason for it, so just hear him out. just tell him you didn't appreciate him holding it as a secret and you just want everything in the family to be out in the open. you just want the family to work out well. just speak with the best intentions.
2006-08-12 03:25:13 · answer #11 · answered by lilgracie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋