Should I leave him??

Question

I I Have been with my Fiance for 3 and a half years now we have a 1 year old son together and at first it was great but lately we have grown apart we hardly talk..or go out I feel that the love is gone. I don't want to leave him because of our child but I am so unhappy what should I do? Oh yea talking doesn't work he doesn't see a problem.

Answer 1

If he doesn't see that there is a problem then he is not receptive to your needs. You both need to sit down and try to talk again. When you talk to him try not to use blaming words like, "You never do this..Why can't you..." Use words to describe how you are feeling.

Set aside a "date night" once a week and get someone to watch your son. When you go out together for your date, don't go to the movies or somewhere that you won't be able to talk. Go to a restaurant or somewhere quiet, you will have nothing else to do but talk to each other. Maybe you will find the spark that was once there. Good luck!

Answer 2

How old are you? Is this your first long relationship? I wish I knew a little more but anywho, relationships are always great in the beginning. It's up to both of you to keep things alive. When you have a child together that can changes things. Sometimes life can get a little stressful. You have to find time for you and your fiance. Maybe one of your parents can take the baby for a night. But if you really are unhappy DO NOT stay with him just because of the baby. That is the wrong reason because it will only get worst. You two need to sit down and have a conversation about what is really the problem. Also pray about it. Good luck.

Answer 3

Well remember all those happy times u had, every couple goes through times when they drift apart, since HE doesnt seem to realize there's a problem u should take things into ur own hands, sit down & talk 2 him but not abt "the problem only U can c" but abt old times, remind him of how things used 2 be like, try changing ur ways in bed, create new things 2 do, arrange 4 a baby sitter twice a week and go out do fun things, go dining, dancing, even bowling, just have fun. U shouldnt give up on ur relation just like that, u have a son keep that in mind.

Answer 4

Before answering this question, ask yourself. Do you still love him? Many couples had gone through this stage. Some quit while some strive to revive the relationship. If you still love him, then give him a chance and don't leave him. If talking wouldn't work, try to use actions. Maybe he is in a dillenma that he couldn't explain. If you don't love him anymore, it's up to you to leave him or remain with him. I believe that this sudden change is because of certain reason. Find out what is the reason. Sometimes, it is not because he had changed but perhaps you had or both of you changed. When people first fall in love, everything is perfect because both of you is trying to please each other. But when you are together after some time, this feeling faded and all sorts of things happen. Relationship is 2 person's battle. You can't do it alone. Both of you need to do your part to revive this relationship. If he is not willing, then it is obvious you should leave him.

Answer 5

Sounds as if he has grown comfortable in the relationship.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

I know it says marriage, but I imagine you get the picture. Men and women mature at different ages most of the time. We are all ever changing. Our daily environments (jobs, family - outside the home, and friends) tend to play a big role on what we become over time. There was a love at one time, and you know where that came from. It may be up to you to recreate it. You may have to do the majority of the work on your own. Take him out on a date to the place you first met or one of your favorite spots. If you can't afford or get a babysitter, create a romantic evening at home that may start out simple but progresses as soon as your son is asleep. Think about things you can do that might light his fire. Since he doesn't see a problem you might have to do a good portion of the work. This is common. A relationship is all about give and take, and I assure you it is seldom 50-50!

Feel free to contact me if you'd like.

Answer 6

Leave him now. You are only going to get more unhappy with time and your son will also start to be more and more unhappy.

If your fiance doesn't see a problem at least use birth control so you don't end up asking the same question next year mentioning that you have two kids.

Answer 7

The best advise I can give you is if you're not happy, you're the only one with the power to make yourself happy. It's your choice. You can stay and be miserable and let your son grow up seeing you two unhappy, or you can leave and move on, be happy and your child with still have both parents - they'll just live apart and be happier that way! Your son will be the one suffering the most if you stay in a relationship you're not happy in. Children learn what they live and if you're not happy, he'll sense that and will be unhappy too. If not for you, do it for him.

Answer 8

Firstly for you to be asking this question it seems you have already made your mind up its just a matter of when or how. Personally I would leave to allow you to show your child that independance and happiness in perhaps another relationship is more rewarding than letting your child grow up in a loveless family environment...Despite this it doesn't mean that your partner won't one day walk out on you and the child because someone he considers better has come along. Atleast if you are making the decision to leave you can be prepared financially, mentally and emotionally.

Answer 9

First,tell him that just because HE doesnt see a problem doesnt mean there isnt one.He really should be more understanding that you feel totally neglected in the relationship.Umm...Engaged 3yrs..one child..I say tell him to "Shi* or Get Off The Pot"...I know that is very straight-forward..sorry...but,Dang! If he is not willing to talk and try to work this out....maybe you should find out if you and your child can stay with friends or family until you can make a definite decision.A trial seperation is a goood way to make decisions.Good Luck,Hun. I wish you the best.

Answer 10

Seek individual counseling. Having a baby changes a woman and can put an enormous strain on a relationship. Since your man isn't acknowledging any issues on his side, take responsiblity for your own. You may not be married on paper but you have made a strong committment in having a child together, and you owe it to your son to try everything in your power to make the relationship work before walking away.