I'm very much in love right now. I've been with my girl for a year and some months. We've been friends for three years prior, so we got history. I want to get married within another year. I'm not concerned about who thinks i'm moving to fast or if i'm really in love. i want to know this: i've told her how i felt and she says she wants to marry me as well, she has even proposed. But, i don't think she really wants to marry me. I feel cheap and used sometimes because we call each other wifey at home and to family and friends but we still introduce each other to strangers as girlfriend. We've talked a lot about it and made plans. I'm afraid to bring it up again because i don't want to seem to pressure her. But i still feel how i feel inside. Should i remain quiet and wait, or say something again?
2006-08-12 01:39:40 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If you want to spend the rest of your life with this person than communication is key. Obviously you love your girlfriend and she may love you just as much, but from what you said it is apparent that something is holding her back from fully committing to you. Although it may be difficult you really need to sit her down and have a conversation about where you each see the relationship going. Becuase if there are still doubts in her mind, and not in yours, than a decision needs to be made about continuing the relationship. It just would not be fair to you if you wanted something more and were just waiting around for the day when your partner finally felt the same way. On the other hand, you do not want your partner to commit to a marriage when they truly never wanted to be a part of it.
Take some time to talk things out.
2006-08-12 07:17:57 · answer #1 · answered by sailormercury_utopia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is an interesting question, but one i felt inclined to answer. I say honey, if you are in love with her, and you know she is in love with you, ask her to marry you. I say plan out the whole proposal, get all of your ducks in a row and make it a truly memorable night. You can tell her that you know she is the one for you, and you cant see yourself with anyone else. Talk to her about how much you value her and everything else that makes you want her.
I am not sure how exactly a union however between two women would work in terms of what you would call each other. I have some friends who call their partner, their significant other, life partner, and wife. I guess it is just up the couple on how they want to be addressed.
If you dont feel that you are ready to ask her to marry you, i suggest taking her out for a lovely dinner and discuss your concerns. The best that could happen is that she just needs a little reassurance of your commitment. to her.
Good luck!
2006-08-12 09:59:27 · answer #2 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the two of you need to sit down and have a good talk about your future. If marriage has already come up before, then it should be easy to have a detailed and heartfelt conversation.
I never mentioned marriage to my (now) fiance. We were together 3 yrs and never discussed it (we're both in our 30's so it was time to settle down!). Even though we never discussed it, he still had thoughts in his mind because he shocked me with a proposal. Althought I was THRILLED he proposed, it would have helped if he discussed things with me over the last year or so because it would have relieved a lot of doubts about whether he wanted to marry me. The same is true for you - you should talk to your girlfriend and be sure you are both on the same page. That will help your relationship!
If you are in the USA you can't marry one another unless you are in Massachusetts (it's legal in MA). BUT... you can still have a committment ceremony and wear rings and make that lifelong committment.
Good luck!!!
2006-08-12 11:48:37 · answer #3 · answered by PT&L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to tell, from your question, why you feel used. Does she treat you well? Does she consider your feelings, show you affection, make time for you?
If you want to get married, NOW is the time to learn how to talk about your feelings instead of keeping them inside. You will need these skills in order to handle all the other issues -- money, sex, housework, kids, in-laws, time management, etc. -- that come with marriage.
Find a time to say: "I love you so much, and I really want to get married. I would like to set a date and make specific plans, but I want to know how you feel about it." And really listen.
2006-08-12 19:55:04 · answer #4 · answered by llemma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to marry her then you should be able to talk about these types of things. This is a basic life goal and you need to fill them in on it.
PS I don't know where you are from but in the USA you can not marry someone of the same sex.
2006-08-12 09:41:21 · answer #5 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well.......it's often different if you are in public. Sinec you're NOT yet married, people are going to ask questions and give you funny looks in you call each other that. Hey-at least she's not introducing you as her 'friend'. She's still acknowledging you as her signifigant other, so I don't see any reason to worry. Start planning that wedding and congrats!!!!
2006-08-12 10:18:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are more relaxed at home and with family. To the world you are still boyfriend and girlfriend. I would quit worrying so much about it. Things will work out for you.
2006-08-12 08:56:14 · answer #7 · answered by doglady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell her or risk getting married and then divorced because one or both of you was holding back their true feelings.
2006-08-12 16:14:26 · answer #8 · answered by Courtne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to be honest with her on yr feelings. dont keep it as this would be a lie and wasting her time if it means to change things. more on relationships and dating on this site that might help more
2006-08-12 11:46:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
o my goodness! a homesexual!!!!!!!! aauuuggghhh. DONT GET MARRIED!!!! DONT GET MARRIED!!!!!!! are you insane why would you want to marry another girl??!!! get a hot guy or somthing!! tell her that lesbians are weird and your gonna stop being one. break off the relationship!!!! your both crazy!
2006-08-12 09:32:00 · answer #10 · answered by Jacob D 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋