I have cousins that I want to get along with and be friends with. But the problem is, they are so intimidating and it feels they look down at us. What can i do?
P.S. please give advice about how to make things better.
2006-08-12 00:15:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just continue to be your friendly, loving self. That is about all you can do. If they don't want to be friends, that is their problem. You will know you have done your best.
Try not to let them intimidate you. You are as good as they are.
Good luck.
2006-08-17 03:54:51 · answer #1 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i notice you said it "FEELS" like they are looking down on you? Well maybe it is all in your head? i am not being mean but, maybe you somehow feel inferior to them within yourself? maybe there is a reason for this(more wealthy etc) or maybe you have just imagined they are looking down on you?
As you find them intimidating, could it also be that you are shy, and maybe you find social situations a little intimidating full stop?
If i were you i would(if possible) arrange a social, but informal gathering at your house or a restaurant(sometimes neutral territory is good!) and send them an invite! Let them know how you would love it if they could be there, because you really feel its about time you all spent some fun time together!
Maybe buy them a small thoughtful gift, and make sure you listen to what they are saying in conversations, sound interested in what they like to do.
Smile alot, be the perfect hostess, and ask them lots of(not too personal!) questions about themselves!after all most people LOVE to talk about themselves. Hopefully many barriers will be broken down, and if everyone has a good time as you leave, tell them you had such a great time, you cant believe you hadnt done this sooner, and that you really look forward to seeing them again soon! Try to exchange mobile numbers, that way you can send them a text every week or so to ask how they are and keep the lines of communication open!
Maybe invite them to a movie or something you enjoy doing every so often, and when you find out what sort of things they like doing, you can work on doing things you both like to do.
If you have honestly tried to spark up a friendship and it still doesnt work, just move on and find some new friends who will appreciate having a caring friend like you. Dont be hostile towards your cousins though even if they seem rude, things can always change and maybe the time just wasnt right!
All the best for the future and i hope you get what you want, i am sure things will work out fine for you.
2006-08-12 00:48:03 · answer #2 · answered by BRICK 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had the same problem with my cousins .. They always looked down at me because my family was messed up .. my dad left us when I was 2 and my mom was this crazy ***** who was cursing and beating me up in front of my cousins and never bought me any new clothes and I had to wear my cousins old clothes so what I did I went to school and tried to be better than them ,, They couldnt finish college and now they wanna be my friends but I just cant .. I just cant forget the past .. How much they tortured me .. I have my own friends .. the ones I chose .. the one who can understand me and when I am in trouble I can call them up and talk to them .. I made my own family .. my friends .. I suggest you to do the same thing ..
2006-08-17 15:00:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say they are intimidating. Is this because they deliberate intimidate you, or do you just find them so? You say it feels like they look down at you. Again, is this your perception, or do you know that they actually do?
How to make things better? The only way you can resolve this situation is by talking to them, ideally on neutral ground that makes you feel at ease (a local park? out shopping?).You may find that they are intimidated by you, and feel that you look down at them. Discussion will resolve this either way. If you can't face talking to them about it, try writing a letter instead, or bringing it up with an adult present.
2006-08-12 00:44:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've experienced the same thing in the past. Now only with one of my cousins who looked down at us we are friends...just because she realized that we love her. Her mother doesn't like our family...she's got a lot of problems...and she used to say bad things about us. But now that cousin of mine...stop listening to her mother...she got engadged too with a nice guy who made her a better person...and now everything's ok between us...she told us how sorry she was too about her behavior. Let them come to you...you have tried to get more close with them I guess...but if they don't want to...there's nothing you can do. One day they will realize the truth.
2006-08-12 00:26:59 · answer #5 · answered by asimenia_psycho 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Realise that you are just as good as them, if not better, they try t make you feel inferior as they are insecure/jealous/pretentious or all three. Remember you have a lot going for you, smile sweetly and think what you like about them, preferably picture them as sad individuals and pity them. Good Luck
2006-08-12 00:20:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
are you sure they look down on you or do YOU think they do? maybe its you putting the barriers up because you feel judged by them. ask them flat out if they want to be firends and if they do look down on you. sometimes we read other poeples messages wrong and this can create problems, clear the air.
2006-08-12 00:37:59 · answer #7 · answered by burrowthroughanelephant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
continue to do your best and dont change for them...make sure to let them know that you want to try and become more close....try setting a day out of the week to go out and become more involved in each others lives, who knows, you may have more in common than you think, dont resent them for making you feel lower than them, forgive them for their lack of knowledge on how they make you feel, family is family, stay true to one another, hope all goes well, good luck.
2006-08-12 00:27:33 · answer #8 · answered by byrdie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nothing you can do much...but to hope and stay nice to them...they are your cousins and soon they will realize they're wrong...always remember that if your intentions are good,,,you will win them in the end...Goodluck...
2006-08-12 01:23:05 · answer #9 · answered by chona a 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he got a metter with it, could`nt be a problem! But you got a metter , so you can not do a thing!
2006-08-12 00:18:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋